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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Funny Comic
No yard work today, but I did drive up norte again to visit Shiv and go to Ben & Jerry's "Free Cone Day". It's almost a sort of tradition for us, haha... funny how when you start dating somebody for a long period, little habits start. We waited for about a half-hour, which isn't too bad considering the huge size of the line when we got there. The rest of Shiv's bible study came too and I also saw a ton of folks I know from church and AACF... even my sister, who I hardly ever see, was there. Nothing quite like free stuff to attract hordes of Asian people... it's like UN weapon inspectors to an ICBM. So as you may have guessed from the comic above, I saw "Better Luck Tomorrow" again... with the help of Steph and Shiv, I managed to posse up a group of friends to see it again and support the movie. I wondered how I would feel about the movie after a 2nd showing, and while I still am very conscious of the flaws (*cough* ending *cough*), I think I appreciated how well made the movie was in the little things - good camera work on the actors' nonverbal cues, especially facial expressions and body posture. One example: Parry Shen, the lead actor, is such a perfect fit for his role - the pensive look, that paradoxical look of both resignation and determination mixed together - he constantly shifts back to that look and it's completely natural... Shiv noticed it too. I guess it also hit me again how much of huge leap forward this film is for Asian Americans - for once, it's a story where Asian Americans are just there... living, breathing, and taking part in a story with a controversial but relevant theme as normal people. I don't know how many times I've thought that thought or scribbled it down, but for someone like me who loves movies, it makes me feel so hopeful... almost to the point of shedding a man tear (like the comic). I hope "Better Luck Tomorrow" will be the first of many great movies. Did I mention I like it when the drama in my life is only found onscreen? I can be wishful too. Newspaper hunter: The Seattle Times has an interesting article about the experiences of "baby lift" Vietnamese American adoptees... | (0) comments 
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
not another survey...
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER -Better Luck Tomorrow... all thanks to my sister's phatty internship at a marketing firm, I got to see an advance screening for free. I'm going to go see again, though... wh00t 2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW -"The Mystery of God's Will" by Charles Swindoll -"Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge 3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? -Trivial Pursuit, Cranium, Apples to Apples 4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? -WIRED, EGM, PC Gamer, PSM, Giant Robot, any gun magazine 5. FAVORITE SMELLS? -Grilled steak, fresh baked cookies 6. COMFORT FOODS? -Chinese (dim sum, chow fun, fried dofu), Japanese (sushi, udon, tonkatsu), Italian (all pasta, pizza), chocolate peanut butter ice cream, cookies 7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? -Light rain, ocean, SILENCE 8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? -Failure, letting down a friend or somebody you love 9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? -"Where's the snooze button?" 10. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? -Jack-In-The-Box, Quizno's, Ivar's, KFC 11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? -Possibilities (son): Garland, Gideon, Gray, Greg, Galen, Grant -Possibilities (daughter): Audrey, Athena, Angela, Faith, May 12. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY,I WOULD... -Travel 13. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? -I drive as fast as I have to 14. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? -Only dinosaurs 15. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? -How about common? I live in Seattle 16. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? -copper '90 Nissan Stanza 17. FAVORITE DRINK? -Tea (Jasmine or Green), OJ, water, coke, orange soda, mango juice 18. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD LOVE TO...... -Write a really looooong book 19. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? -Yes 20. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? -Well, if I had hair... probably white or blue 21. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? -Two 22. GLASS HALF EMPTY OR FULL? -Empty 24. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? -NBA, sumo, kendo 25. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. -She rocks. She needs to hang out in Seattle more. 26. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? -Big plastic bin of LEGOS, Go-bot command center, shoebox full of old checks, shoebox full of old letters, stack of "Blade of The Immortal" graphic novels 27. TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWEL-OVER OR UNDER? -Over, always 28. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? -Always night 29. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? -SCRAMBLED 30. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? -Couches of all sorts 31. FAVORITE PIE -Chocolate creme 32. WHO DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST? -God, my GF, my mother, and random people via IM 33. LAST SINGLE ITEM PURCHASE OVER $50 (not including bills)? -Does a $200 ticket from the wh0regon police count? GRRRR >=( 34. IDEAL JOB -CRITIC: video game critic / music critic / movie critic / restaurant critic... I'm all over writing up reviews and getting free stuff 35. PERSON YOU STILL NEED TO FORGIVE. -Myself, God 36. WHICH REALITY DATING SHOW WOULD YOU BE MOST WILLING TO APPEAR IN? -"The Bachelor": Because a guy likes to have ch-ch-choices... 37. WHOSE PICTURE DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU -Father, Mother, Sister, Uncle 38. IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME... -Exile myself to a monastery in Ancient China to start an indigenous movement rooted in true Christianity 39. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND. -Who knows... 40. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND. -Probably me, but since I've finished this... | (0) comments
die weeds die
The war against the wildlife of the yard goes well. Sunday, Steph and Shiv helped out a lot with the rough battle plan I came up with: 1) hack down the foliage with the weed wacker to about 2-3 inches 2) rake up the remains 3) use lawnmower to establish a uniform length 4) rinse and repeat About 75% of the yard is now cut to the point where you actually see the shape of the ground. The front yard lawn now even has purty lawnmower marks. So now all that remains is the left side of the house, which has some pretty crazy tree action. I spent all of today (Monday) hacking off branches with a hatchet and clippers. I think tomorrow I'll be done with the yard work... yipee. In other Greenwood news, Steph's cousin moved in today, which brings the number of girls crammed into that house to 5. Her "room" is the second living room near the front of the house... reminds me of my first year in Maplewood, living in the dining room. Of course, one could argue that I'm a low maintenance, whose personality is suited to getting by without all of the usual comforts of modern living - while most girls I know are high maintenance when it comes to having a place to sleep and hang their clothes. We'll see if how it works out... heh | (0) comments
Monday, April 28, 2003
Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me
(told you everything loud and clear) ...but nobody's listening Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me (told you everything loud and clear) ...but nobody's listening I've got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Hand full of anger held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening (right click, 'save target as') 5:30 AM is the magic writing hour. I hate waking up in the middle night with that dull pain deep in my stomach and in my chest. Sometimes, I get it just because I'm hungry, other times I get it when I'm sore from sort of physical exercise... but most of the time, it's because there's something bothering me, mulling around in my head, and burning its way down to my guts. And I used to be such an easy-going person. Too much time, alone with oneself and analyzing things... looking at scars, the pathways of pain in one's life. I trace my finger across these wounds I carry with me and I wonder if they'll ever heal. The constant looking backward, the wondering of if I should have gone left when I went right, and the waiting... bleh, the waiting. I hate this spiritual suspension, this feeling I'm just waiting for the next disaster to strike, the next blow to my spirt. It's the wondering of how exactly close I am to the edge and if the next hit will push me off into the deep end. Just what the world needs, another crazy Asian man. Pain and disappointment are old friends. I wear them like a pair of shoes and they go where I go. But to put things in perspective. I've trying to be more mindful that most everybody in this world has their own special understanding of pain and disappointment - their own relationships with the dynamic duo that plagues this mortal life. People like to classify pain in relative terms. So I'm sure someone would tell me: Somewhere, in Africa, a kid is growing up orphaned, his parents stolen from him by the AIDS epidemic... starving, hungry, he picks up an AK-47 and becomes one of thousands of child soldiers that are in the world today. He fights and kills for a war he doesn't believe in or care about, because he knows his life already hangs upon a cut thread. Elsewhere, in Thailand, a young prostitute is having her 3rd abortion. The baby is a "gift" from being raped by a traveling businessman, on vacation with his European associates to explore the "exotic Orient". The girl's body was sold into sexual slavery simply to make ends meet - by her own family. Here in America, a young man is bounced from foster to foster home because he's been physically & mentally handicapped since birth from FAS. His mother a drunk and a ruled unfit by the state to raise children, his father is unknown and absent. To his foster family, he's just a cash cow, a meal ticket that gets them a few extra bills every month. Fictitious, yet common stories. And if these individuals had the choice, they'd change places with me in a heartbeat. To them, things like growing up without a father or looking for a job probably seem trivial. But pain isn't as easily relative as I or anyone else would like it to be. Whether you lose a finger or you lose an arm, you're still going to bleed. When things hurt, they still hurt. How foolish we are to forget that there are other things that can be just as deadly as blades, disease, or bullets. Loneliness. Grief. Bitterness. Boredom. Rage. Frustration. Addiction. Obsession. Misplaced trust. Failed romance. Unrealistic ambition. Family expectations. The desire for recognition. False hope. These things all fly into our lives, like arrows loosed from divine or demonic hands. Some completely miss us, some glance off without a scratch. Some hit us, but we never really see the life-threatening shot until we've been knocked off our feet, laying on ground, and staring wide-eyed at the feathered shaft protruding from our chest. Oh, I do my best to make plans. Everybody does. We go to college. Or we work. We meet somebody and plan on getting married. Or we buy cats. We buy a car and a house. Or we put the money away in stocks and bonds. We pursue what we love, but we can't make ends meet. Or we work a job we hate, just to get by. Then the arrows come. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh... and everybody gets hit. No exceptions. Everyone has a combination of pain particular to their own life that nobody else can understand completely. I think there's several sticking in my chest. I want to believe God has purpose for all things. I know He has a purpose for all things... but some times I don't just want to know... I want to know. They say is faith is the shield against every arrow possible. But maybe the shield isn't worn on your arm. No, perhaps the true shield of faith is a kevlar heart... an ironclad center... a bulletproof soul. The power to be struck with one arrow or a thousand, and not be worst from it. The God-given ability to not be immune to pain, but to embrace it and give it up to Christ - the original man of sorrows. I could use a heart like that these days. It takes too much work to ramble on like this. | (0) comments
Saturday, April 26, 2003
The Lawnmower Man... more than a bad movie derived from a Stephen King story.
So I crashed last Friday night at Ryan's condo to wake up early today and go to Shiv's house around 9 AM. Shiv and the rest of gals of the Greenwood manor have been losing a battle against the weed jungle now occupying their front and backyards, so after surveying several expensive options, they decided to go with the economical choice... ...myself, of course. Nothing beats boyfriend labor, eh? Well, with the help of my trusty weedwacker, lawnmower, and machete, I went to work on the backyard / sides. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring some gas for the mower, so the electric weedwacker got a good work out. Shiv helped me later in the afternoon too... she went on a weed massacre, not only wacking the back, but rampaging all the way down the rightside walkway of the house. Nothing like introducing your GF to fun with lawn equipment, haha. All together, I probably spent about 5 hours out in the yard today and I don't think the yard is even close to being finished. Whooo, boy... it's gonna be a long war. Night time, I went to BASIC. Now that Dave is back in action at CBC, we had a much welcomed extra counselor for BASIC. That's six now, including myself, Josh, Kenny, Cassie, and Kristie. Ah yes, it's good to serve with friends. | (0) comments
Friday, April 25, 2003
Gasoline and a J...
So a funny thing happened to me at the gas station last night. It's around 2:30 AMish when I'm cruise'n into the local gas station to gas up the ghetto ride. I usually always go late at night when I can, 'cause I hate lines and at the buttcrack of the night, there's usually nobody around. I walk inside the station to pay in cash for my gas and I notice the attendant isn't at the counter. I see him pop out of the backroom and tell me to hold up for a second, so I just chill and walk around the snack isles, contemplating the relative benefits of sipping a 40 and eating sunflower seeds. After about 5 minutes or so, the attendant walks out, apologizes, and gets behind the counter... tall, lanky brother with a Mariners jacket on. He kicks up a conversation with me, mentioning that he's seen me around lots of times. He's also got a slight accent, but I can't place it... South African? Nigerian? I dunno. I recognize him too, being that from 1-3ish, that's the prime hours I gas up the car. Seems pretty normal right? Gas attendant: So what're you doing now? Me: Not much, just graduated from college a year ago, so now I'm working temporary jobs and live'n back here in ghetto Kent / Renton. Ah, that's good, that's good. You know, you got that special vibe... you got that positive aura, I can feel it. Haha. Ummm, thanks. One of my eyebrows is now raised. Gas attendant: I got like a special mission for you... since you seem like a cool guy... Me: Hahaha... riiight... We laugh and attendant comes around from the counter and motions for me to go out front to the pumps with him. I notice him turning to look at the mini-market camera as we leave. Hrmm... as he walks closer by, I notice a faint smell... naw, it couldn't be... As we come outside, the gas man leans in whispers a question, half laughing... Hey yo... do I smell like weed? I resist the urge to not laugh too hard. I respond nonchalantly. Naw, dude... you're cool... You sure? I don't gotta brush my teeth or change my clothes or nuthin'? I shake my head. Blazed gas attendant smiles, and we walk back into the station. I finally pay for my gas, and walk out to my car to pump it. As I'm pumping the gas, gas attendant man exits the station again and walks over to a nearby parked van, where I guess his friend is chillin'. We exchange chin checks as I pump my gas and he blazes another J. He stands a healthy distance from the pump, which definitely isn't a bad thing. Ah, life in Kent / Renton... Random note: Man, Digital Gravel is so sexy... I love it when they get new gear. | (0) comments
I don't know why I bother...
"UW Career Services" predictably put on another pathetic career fair. While you can't fault them for the crappy economy, I can think of plenty of other reasons to feel insulted by the sorry event that was today's career fair. In a company ISN'T hiring, why should they be allowed a booth at the fair? Makes no sense to me. Not to mention that the low number of reputable companies present... another reason why I shouldn't have bothered attending. Most of the companies I talked to aren't interested in hiring people at all - at least not people in business or IT/IS. Lots were looking for sales, even more were shamelessly searching for slave labor AKA unpaid interns with little or no guarantee of a "real" position at the end of the internship. Even the free stuff they were giving away was sorry... pens? Sucka, please. The highlight of my day was post-career fair, going out to dinner with Shiv at one of my favorite U-District restaurants, Snow Garden. Their adobo chicken... YUM. I just love the way the tender, flavorful meat just falls right off the bone. | (0) comments
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
There's a career fair tomorrow at the UW. I really hate career fairs. The virtual prostitution that goes on there is sickening to my sense of personal honor.
I know I should go, though... gotta do my part and pray for a small miracle. The ideal scenario: I meet a recruiter and it's an old friend from the business / communications school. Old friend then proceeds to hook me up with an interview for a good, stable job. I'm not banking on anything though... I'm planning on mostly swiping as much free schwanky pens, pencils, bouncy balls, and gadgets as I can get. *** Random note: 
As a rogue 8-bit comic artist has wisely observed, the kiddies learn the asian squat at young age. I jacked the above picture from Yun's church's website. What a great tragedy it will be someday when legions of culturally assimilated Asian Americans will know nothing of the asian squat. Man, seeing digital pictures make me want a digicam. Hrmm, digicam... must resist the urge to purchase and spend my new dough-lo. My friend Steph recently scored a phatty deal, which makes my musings about purchasing all the more tempting. Steph is a proponent of "retail therapy": indulging in consumeristic orgies to diffuse the stresses of life. I think guys have "gadget therapy": playing with / acquiring toys such as electronics, video games, auto parts, and firearms make us temporarily euphoric. Hrmmm... must... resist... gadget urges... | (0) comments
What is it about couches that makes them so easy to fall asleep in?
One minute, I'm watching Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network, and the next, I'm face down in the cushions. I'm thinkin' the dull glow of the TV makes my eyes heavy... even with the quiet hum of my computer's fan in the background. My desktop. Yeah, anime is so juvenile. Like I care. Kiss my hairless Chinese backside. Oooh baby, nuthin' like early morning belligerence. I'd say "Lord, take me now", but Mixmaster Melly-Mel IM'd me last night to inform me that the Rapture has been indefinitely postponed, due to mortal negligence of proper Scriptural interpretation. Damn, and I thought I was gonna finally cash in on my frequent "flagellated by fate" miles to a one-way ticket to Paradise. | (0) comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
To live in the past, to be haunted by the specters from it, is no way to live. The more we look to the past, the fuzzier and more obscure our future becomes. One cannot walk forward or know what will be in front of him when his head is turned towards the path he has already crossed.
I have to remember that I can't change the past nor can I try to alter it with things I do now. I can only move forward... The past has no future, though we try to hold onto it with vice like grips. It's said that those who look at the past only do so when dying, as a way to affirm they had a life, lived. The irony is that the past is familiar, known. The future on the other hand is a murky thing with so much uncertainty that at times moving forward is worse than staying in the past, even if that past holds nothing for us. I suppose this is where faith comes in, and here I am with dwindling supply of that. Wise words from a fellow writer. So today is the first day of my newly unemployed life. What did I do? Yep, slept until 3:00 pm. I don't feel particularly any emotion yet about not working again, as my brain is being kept afloat by a steady rotation of new tune-age: Linkin Park's Meteroa, Talib Kweli's Quality, The Roots Phrenology, Nas God's Son, and 9th Wonder / Little Brother's God's Stepson remixes. Music is great like that. | (0) comments
"You may dig on the rolling stones/ but they could never ever rock like Nina Simone..."
-Mos Def, Rock N Roll R.I.P. Nina Simone | (0) comments
Monday, April 21, 2003
At work?
Well, I guess my job isn't finished yet... now that the projects are done with, the museum wants me to archive the rest of the footage to DVD. So once again, I'm waiting for stuff to render... wh00t. Odd thought: Ever notice how people's lives often follow certain cycles / patterns? I think it has to do less with fate and more with the fact that once a person has developed a certain mindset / personality, they're prone to make the exact decisions over and over again, regardless of the consequences or even the past, because half the time, when people are faced with a quick decision, the immediacy of their circumstances often forces thoughtless decisions. It's a readily observable reality... that guy who's always losing his temper and acting impulsively; that girl who's always gets into bad relationships with men; that guy who's always lying and cheating; etc, etc... To the person trapped in the cycle of events, it's never clear how they started or how they can be ended. Only hindsight or the perspective of people on the outside of the cycle have any real clarity - meaning it's easy to percieve what other people's problems may be, but it's much more difficult for a person to discern their own struggles and difficulties. I guess this relates to me in that in my current situation of purposelessness / joblessness, everyone and their mother seems to advice for me on what to do. Some of what people have to say has its merits; other pieces of advice have been totally wacked-out. To everyone else, it seems clear what I should / shouldn't do... but for myself, I feel like I'm standing a crossroads, with a thousand paths stretching outward in every direction. Each of these paths seem to fit into one group: either they are at once equally desirable and unattainable; or they are equally distasteful and readily available. I was hoping this past season of Lent and my fasting would lend me some sort of insight into what I should do, but I find in one way or another, I'm still starving. I'm sure someday, I'll look back in this time in my life and laugh about it. But knowing things will be better someday doesn't help a lot in helping me feel better today. Hrmph. | (0) comments
And Sunday came and gone... this is gonna be a boring daily re-cap.
Well, it was a busy day... but then again, it was Sunday and Easter. Singing with the choir was a lot of fun... there's something powerful about singing in a large choir, where the voices seem to meld together and ring. Since the Chinese service had grown fairly large, the church had 2 services for Easter and the choir sang in both. During the offeratory, there was also a performance by the youth choir, or as Auntie Dora like to call it, the "Garrett & Under" group. I was the oldest person in the group... all the other kids were college, high school, or junior high... damn, I'm old. After service, my mother and I met Shiv and my sister at Atlas, a nice Americana joint that's also owned by my other "American food" favorites 5-Spot and Jitterbug. I had a smoked shredded BBQ pork sandwich with fries and coleslaw... mmm. Later, I ended up at Shiv's house, where I fell asleep for like 3 hours while she was watching a Spanish flick. I guess getting early and singing 2x made me more tired than I thought. Shiv made udon with fishballs and we watched "Black Sash"... yeah, major Russell Wong cheeeese, but surprisingly engrossing. Got a ring from Abe that a bunch of people were going to The Ram for Mel's birthday, so I dropped by there. I was a little worried about finding a ride home (I didn't drive), but I really wanted to show up for Mel's birthday. Wasn't too hungry, so I just mothered a pint of the house's homebrewed IPA and talked with people. I thought it was funny that it turned out it was Mel's birthday, since he was the first person to tell me about 5-Spot. Post-hangout, Dave, now rollin' in the Lam family ghetto Toyota, was nice enough to give me a lift back home. wh00t Hrmm, work tomorrow. Fun. | (0) comments
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Tea lights, coffee houses, guitars and one mic...
"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation." Romans 5:6-11 Tonight at the high schoolers' fellowship, we had a "coffee house" event - we took over the church's dining hall, set up a stage surrounded by coffee tables, couchs, chairs, and had a night of music performances, drama, and sharing. And yeah, there was coffee - plus Italian sodas, tea, and various cookies, chips, snacks, etc. Definitely a different kind of environment and a nice change of pace. "What does Easter mean to me?" was the theme for the night. Myself and the other counselors for the most part were only in charge of serving drinks / food, with the kids being on point for the performances, decorations, and the program. It's their first managed event for the year, but they did a great job. I'm proud they really took ownership of the event... perhaps we'll have more in the future. In my opinion, the best kinds of activities for the kids are the unconventional sort - I think it's important the kids have a practical and real outlet for exercising their faith while they're young. It's an inevitable that at some point in time, as the kids grow older, their faith will be put to serious tests by the harshness that is life in this world, and the only thing that will anchor them to the truth will be the memories of God's love working through them and their firsthand experiences. | (0) comments
"Better Luck Tomorrow" roundup...
A letter from Justin Lin, the director of BLT: Dear Friends- Thank you for your incredible support this past weekend. I got the wake up call of a lifetime Sunday morning from the heads of MTV Films and Paramount. Not only was "Better Luck Tomorrow" the highest grossing film per screen in the country, but we also set records for both the studio and MTV Films. And my phone did not stop ringing there. Executives from other studios also called, and one thing's for certain, everyone is baffled. They can't figure out how a small independent film with barely any advertising muscle could out-perform the big movies. Of course, we already know the answer: word of mouth. This history-making success is a testament to all of you that came out, bought a ticket, and told your friends to go see it. Now, the audience is telling the studios what kind of film they want to see - something completely unheard of in Hollywood. We are setting a new precedent. Fans showed up in such big numbers that theaters actually cancelled screenings of "Anger Management" in order to add additional showings of BLT. And in cities where BLT isn't showing, fans have been calling their local theatre managers and demanding that the theatres bring it to their towns. But we still have a long road ahead. If there's any downside to our triumphant opening weekend, it's that we might be seen as a fluke. BLT is opening in ten additional cities on Friday, April 18th. If we can sustain the same momentum of last weekend, I've been assured that "Better Luck Tomorrow" will go to a nationwide release on April 25th! Not only would this be historic for Asian American cinema, but it would finally put us on a level playing field with the average Hollywood film. I found out that approximately 60% of the audiences last weekend were Asian Americans. If this trend continues, we will at last be able to carve out a piece of the pie on the studio marketing chart, thereby signaling the way for more films with real, human portrayals of Asian Americans. We?re on the verge of something truly groundbreaking, so let?s not turn back now. If you haven't seen the film yet, now is the time. If you saw it last weekend (thank you!), bring a friend and watch it again. Remember, your movie ticket is your vote. Please look at the new cities listed below and if you have friends or family there, let them know about the film and tell them to visit the website or read the reviews. Once again, thank you for all your support. Justin Links to interesting reviews: If you haven't seen the movie yet, GO. Regardless of your reservations, it deserves at least one viewing... trust me, it'll make you think and add wrinkles to your gray matter. More news can also be found at AngryAsianMan.com. | (0) comments
Friday, April 18, 2003
"The Suffering Servant"
Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. Isaiah 53:1-10 | (0) comments
The Afterparty & the end of guerilla video...
Well, the kick-off for the sports exhibit didn't go exactly as planned, but what does? Some last minute technical problems had me dubbing / burning DVDs even while the kick-off was first starting, but thank God all the pieces I had spent so much time and blood on editing eventually made it onto the floor. Over 200 people came to the opening last night, plus many of the people that I had the privilege to interview and film. It was a very good feeling, seeing people enjoy the exhibit, learn, and most of all, be really touched by the personal stories of many people we interviewed. Even though I'm the crazy guerilla filmographer / editor, I'm always amazed how much people can be enthralled by video / TV. Yet, I feel the real impact was in the subject matter. I don't think it's possible for a normal person to not be moved by some of the stories that are told in the exhibit - struggles against racism & prejudice and those little quests to find a place of identity between two cultures, Asian & American. Anyways, I'm back at the museum today to put some finishing touches on all my work before I pass it off fully to the museum. Yeah, it is a bit sad... no more working in Chinatown. =( It's also Good Friday today... somber day all around. The choir is singing tonight, so I gotta get to church early to warm-up and rehearse with everybody. | (0) comments
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Did I also mention I was never a boy scout?
hahaha. Ah, tomorrow at my work, the sports exhibit is finally having it's grand opening / kick-off party. It's a happy day, but also sad too... I really enjoyed my time working in Chinatown and everything. But as with most good things in my life, this time has run its course to the end. *sigh* Back to unemployment... on the bright side, I'll be having more time to war-crack and read books again... | (0) comments
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
"Better Luck Tomorrow"...
I just got back from seeing it and wow... what a great movie! I'm borrowing my friend Steph's computer right now to jot down some thoughts about the movie while it's still fresh in my mind. I can see why the movie has grabbed such critical claim and controvery. If you haven't seen it yet and don't want anything about the movie to be spoiled... read no further! You have been warned. Go to see the movie; if you love good movies, you'll appreciate "Better Luck Tomorrow" immensely as a good movie first before you appreciate it as an "Asian American movie". Now go... PLEASE SEE THE MOVIE! Thanks. =) .:SPOILERS / RANDOM, UNORGANIZED COMMENTARY:. -"Better Luck Tomorrow", while featuring primarily an Asian American cast, doesn't dwell explicitly on Asian American issues - the things the movie commentates on are definitely part of Asian American culture, but no where does it explicitly say in the movie "hey, this is stuff us Asian American people deal with being here in America!" Overall, the movie to me was more a commentary on growing up in a highly competitive, achievement-oriented, materialistic culture, violence, (Asian American) male identity on teenagers and the consequences of those conflicting issues. All teenagers face a coming of age crisis in high school; boiled down to its simplest essence, that's what "Better Luck Tomorrow" is about: growing old and growing up. -The destruction of the stereotype of Asian Americans as the "model minority"... whoo boy, if this movie gets big, this issue will definitely come up. Shiv definitely noticed this. The movie kicks off with two of the main characters, Ben and Virgil, sitting in a backyard with a (mostly) buried dead body. Most of the movie is told in retrospective flashback of the events that led up to the body being there... that's right... a DEAD BODY. Asian American families would cringe at the thought that there high school age sons would be mixed up in something criminal, let alone a dead body - during the course of the movie, the main characters in the movie make money off other people cheating at school, get drunk, sell drugs, use drugs, rob houses, hire a prostitute, brawl, and shoot guns. Thuggish behavior, yet in the movie, it's coming from very ordinary teenagers from good, middle class families. Unlike the "Joy Luck Club", where Asian American women were put on a high pedestal as vestal virgins, valiant mothers, and persected martyrs, "Better Luck Tomorrow" is unafraid to paint a cast of realistic characters - the young men in the movie are very human and imperfect characters, whose alienation / personality flaws is the driving force behind the movie. -Asian American culture / "the American dream" / male identity: To me, the underlying theme of the movie is summed in a conversation by two of the movies characters, Ben and Steve, at a batting cage. The topic is "happiness" and the fact that's so elusive to them - after all, in eyes of both Asian American culture and "the American dream", they should be happy - they come from stable, wealthy families; they go to school and get good grades; they participate in a variety of extra-curricular activities; they're all but assured entrance into a good college... yet they feel hollow, empty, and miserable. Their lives revolve around achievement and competition... but even excelling in every area of their life has done nothing to give them satisfaction. They're driven to achieve and do well, because Asian American culture emphasizes that people who hardworking and succeed will be happy. But young men have lived that paradigm long enough to know that it's lacking. The characters start committing crimes not out of economic need, but simply for the rush and the thrill of being able to get away with something... their lives feel aimless, and the crime is a way for them to feel empowered, alive. In Christian-ese terms, the characters are acting out of a spiritual bankruptcy, a lack of a dimension to their life beyond what society has deemed "fulfilling". That's right, in some way, on a smaller, less poetic level... I see "Better Luck Tomorrow" has a lot in common with another favorite movie of mine, "Fight Club". This conflict is epitomized in the romantic relationship between Ben and Steph. The main character, Ben, gets his good grades, works hard at his job... and still knows something is missing. He tries to improve himself by memorizing a new dictionary word everyday and goes to the park every afternoon to shoot 200 free throws! The beginning of his friendship / romantic interest in Stephanie, is symbolic in a way of the beginning awareness that something is missing in his life and that he wants to find. His pursuit of Stephanie parallels the quest the young men in the movie are on, a quest to find that something else besides what the world has already offered them. *** Did I mention I got flashbacks to some of my high school years, too? No bodies buried in my backyard... scout's honor. | (0) comments
It's mine, all mine...
Well, "enscriptchun.net" belongs to me again. My presence in the wack-o domain of cyberspace is assured again. In other news, I'm seeing "Better Luck Tomorrow" today... FOR FREE. I love getting hook-ups with free stuff, wh00t. The Chinese soul in me sings with much joy and happiness. Random: This comic is hilarious. Only people old enough to play the original "Final Fantasy" would get it though. | (0) comments
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
!$)(! %%()%!
I hate how little stupid things can piss me off so much... GRRRRRR... I wanted to burn off some serious rage, but I couldn't find my key to the toolshed so I could get the axe out and chop wood. It's not as psycho as it sounds, I've been doing it since high school. Chopping wood is therapeutic, try it some time. Instead I played TacOps while blasting RATM... an OK substitute. Not quite as physically invigorating, but I guess it's aight. Two more days until the exhibit opens... wh00t | (0) comments
Oops, I just found out that I forgot to renew my web account / domain name.
Pictures will be down for a little bit until I can renew it. | (0) comments
It's early... too early.
On a un-related note, there's some folks out there who are really bad at taking care of kids. I mean completely, utterly, and totally HORRIBLE. During my usual newspaper browsing, I came across this article in the NY Times about some of the failures of state-run child welfare. Some direct quotes from the article: ...a child was unwittingly given to a foster mother who had years before been barred by the agency from caring for any more children; that child was later beaten so badly with a shoe that imprints of the laces were found on her body. In the case of Brian Clark, a 3-year-old, H.I.V.-positive child, he was never taken to the doctor by a foster mother who had been known by the agency to be a problem. He slowly, over days, died of pneumonia... The foster mother had been cited once before by the agency for a "failure to nurture" the vulnerable children in her care. Pretty sad stuff. By a sobering read for us who have been blessed to have good parents; there are those out there who are not as fortunate and require help. I'm reminded of this verse: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27 NASB | (0) comments
Monday, April 14, 2003
Working, working...
Been here since 8:30 AM... so this is what a "regular job" feels like... haha. I'm editing like a crazed monkey thanks to constant intake of tea... hunger from my fasting hasn't kicked in yet, but it probably will soon... it always happens around lunch time, oof. The new Matrix trailer is siiiiiiiiiiick... WATCH IT! (You'll need Quicktime) http://whatisthematrix.warnerbros.com/rl_cmp/trailer_final_downloads.html I suspect the plot has probably gotten a little predictable... but who cares... the action and special FX look pretty amazing. Remember how every movie after the original has attempted to incorporate the stylized camera shots, slow-mo, and of course, the infamous "bullet time"? I think the movie has managed to push the envelope again. Mmmm, I think "Equilibrium" is coming out DVD pretty soon too... | (0) comments
The true meaning of passion...
It was Palm Sunday today (technically yesterday). A more archaic name is also "Passion Sunday"... because the Sunday traditionally marks the beginning of the countdown to Jesus' betrayal, arrest, trial, execution, and resurrection... a wretched injustice, yet a fulfillment of Christ's own God-ordained destiny. The essence of passion is not a corny soap opera or some physical longing to get your freak on. The essence of true passion is to suffer... modern English derives the word from the Latin word passus, the past participle of the word pat... "to suffer". (haha, my sister would be proud... her foreign language req is Latin). Nobody likes to suffer. It boggles the mind to think that a person would willingly choose to suffer; especially a person who had every reason of human logic to not do so. But He willingly made that choice. Our minds struggle to comprehend it. And when I think about the people and the activities that really matter and I remember that life can often be painfully and unexpectedly limited... I realize that as human beings, very few things merit our devotion, our willingness to sacrifice and suffer... our passion. I suppose everyone, including myself, should give more thought to what they're really passionate about... because devoting your life to something undeserving in the end would be quite sad... | (0) comments
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Holy Week & Passion...
This song is beautiful... it's a version of a Eucharist hymn dating back to the 14th century. Mozart used these words to compose "Ave Verum Corpus". I'm in awe in how the music's mood evokes such difference emotions... first reverence, then solemn mourning, and finally joy. Download it right here. (right click & 'save as') Man, comp is acting weird again... can't believe it crashed while I was writing the original entry for this, bleh. =P | (0) comments
Saturday, April 12, 2003
I'm at work... wh00t.
The museum exhibit opens on Thursday, and I'm working hard to get things done on time... kinda sucks that what's holding me back most of the time is this computer with gaylord Windows ME and whatever else other bugged out stuff that's causing it to crash all the time. Countdoooooooown... | (0) comments
Medicated.
Allergies. Sneezing, runny nose... I hate springtime, 'cause the hayfever comes like clockwork once all the green plants start filling the air with their reproductive materials, AKA "pollen". I was going to write something long, but thanks to anti-histamine pills + cheap red wine... I'm out like a psycho Iraqi regime. Mixing alcohol and pills... oops. Very bad. | (0) comments
Friday, April 11, 2003
Windows ME = garbage
So I'm doing my work, and I've already had the computer crash on me 4 different times while I was editing... and to top it off, the computer seems to have problems remembering the state of things I saved it in. So the cycle has gone: edit edit render save edit edit *crash* restart comp re-open work file glare at the screen when I notice that all my work is gone Pretty annoying. Bah. | (0) comments
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Asian Americans in the war, part 2...
The image of Cpl. Edward Chin, 23, of the 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines Regiment, was broadcast on TV screens around the world as U.S. troops joined a crowd that was attacking the statue. Looks like the war is wrapping up... and the worst is behind us? Hopefully, God willing. Check out the full article on CNN.com... | (0) comments
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
Visiting family...
Among the quiet sigh of trees and stretches of green grass I drove to visit you to recount a lifetime long past the warm weather beckoned my travel to follow feet familar in treading the old pathways of sorrow the sun shone softly as I walked to where you were my ears echoing with the sounds of a murmur was it the wind or my voice as I knelt slowly down my hand sweeping to clean the stone on the ground wondering why how just eight numbers could define me this cold etching of 'nineteen forty-six to nineteen ninety' Father, you slumber while in this wasteland I still face seeking some sense in these circumstances and faith wishing I knew how you could deal with waiting this body is breathing but my soul is suffocating... | (0) comments
p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n
I dunno why I'm even bothering to write this stupid letter to the judge for my wh0regon ig'nant cop-given ticket. Supposedly, a letter explaining the "mitigating" circumstances is supposed to reduce your fine, but they'll probably see my last name, assume I'm some rich foreigner, and hit me up for the cash. I'd plead "not guilty" and appear before a judge if I had the choice, but I don't have time to drive like 6 hours down to appear in court in-person and they know it... what a scam. At least I got to enjoy my nice paycheck from the museum for a day and pretend that some of my hardwork actually belongs to me for once. Stupid racist hick five-o. As a sort of humorous sidenote, I was reading from Psalms the night Shiv and I got into San Jose the day I got the ticket, trying to calm down my inner rage, and I happened to read this exact verse as soon as I started: "Those who hate me without reason outnumber the hairs of my head; many are my enemies without cause, those who seek to destroy me. I am forced to restore what I did not steal." -Psalm 69:4 It was uncannily applicable. Who says God doesn't speak through the Bible? | (0) comments
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
The return of DJ Eye-Own-Lee-No-Eng-Ish...
Well, I'm back to work and I've spent a crazy amount of time trying to tweak some really bad cassette audio for the video projects. I wish I had IM on this computer, so I could find my friend Mel, AKA Mixmaster Melly-Mel for some p33mp audio tweaking-tips... oh well. I'll be happy when the day that everybody uses digital equipment, because it makes editing on a computer so much easier... So it's opening day for the Mariners' season today and Chinatown is nuts... too many damn people hoggin' the good parking spots. Looks like I'll have to plan on coming in even EARLIER to avoid that traffic, ugh. Random note: In case you had the bad impression that all Iraqis hate America / wanna flex WMD... a nice human piece in the Seattle Times on one man's sacrifice and journey, from escaping Iraq and saving money to bring his family over. Amazing stuff... reminds me a bit of my own family history, how my maternal grandfather came to America as a paper son and worked his butt off for seven years in blue-collar jobs to bring over my grandma and uncle. | (0) comments
Monday, April 07, 2003
Oof...
You like 14+ hour drives? I don't... but the trade-off for this weekend was well worth it, not counting the double C-note ticket that the racist wh0regon po-po is trying to stick to me. Since I have vowed this will be a more happy, less bitter, entry, the following highlights from the weekend with Shiv: Meet the Parents (again): I remember the first time I met Shiv's parents, it was a couple of years ago when she graduated and they were up for her graduation. I was supposed to meet them for dinner, but I was late... I was coming back from ANOTHER roadtrip, a guys' retreat in Seaside, Oregon. Since then, I'd like to think they the know me better and have a better impression of me. I for one like her parents a lot... they crack me up, in the lovable-goofy Chinese parents way. Pau-Pau: Shiv's maternal grandma is a cute old lady. I like her a lot, if just for the fact that her stubbornness is evidence that Shiv has inherited that trait via genetics. Mom's Family: I only got to visit my Mom's own family for a brief lunch in San Leandro, but it was good. It's nice to visit family under non-funeral circumstances. Shiv's Big Fat Chinese Family: The last time I met them, it was information overload... I met them ALL at once. This time, I got to know everybody a bit better and get to see their individual personalities. All Chinese American families are pretty much the same, really... just for fun, I've written a little brief of the categories/battle-plan for people who may be un-informed on Chinese family dynamics and looking to "make good":
OK, that wasn't too short. But all y'all who may someday be dating somebody Chinese-American... you'll thank me later. | (0) comments
Sunday, April 06, 2003
Full of love, full of food...
It's been a short weekend, but it was time well spent. Except for a mind-numbing, grossly injust run-in with the law in wh0regon state, I've enjoyed getting to know Shiv's family better and also seeing my Mom's side, no matter how brief it was. Next time, I should stay longer. We'll see. Seven hours until it's back to Sea-town, with my hard-core driving ability fueled by underground beats and old jazz. | (0) comments
Saturday, April 05, 2003
So I'm in San Jose right now...
Shiv and I made good time. Left at 5:00AM, got in at around 7:00. Drove through rain, light snow, and sunshine, and it was pretty unevent trip, except for one incident. All I gotta say is I hate stupid racist small town hick five-o. What's up with all these run-ins with the ignorant po-po? I'm a law-abiding citizen. Those badge-wearing whore-sons need to go out and harass real criminals, not me. I hope during the next major West Coast earthquake, the entire wretched state of Oregon slides into the Pacific Ocean. I've gotten ONE speeding ticket my whole life... from Oregon. Now after this weekend, it's TWO... and yes, in OREGON. You know at one time, Oregon's state government was controlled by the KKK? Look it up, it's fact: during the 1920's, at the height of the KKK's power, large group Klansmen in Oregon managed to elect a KKK-backed governor. Oregon should hang a new sign on it's borders: Oregon state, historical bastion of West Coast racism. Yeah, I'm pissed off and ranting a little. Grrr. | (0) comments
Thursday, April 03, 2003
Early to bed, early to rise...
Well, I'm actually going to be turning in early tonight... I'm taking a roadtrip with Shiv since it's her springbreak. We'll be going to the real California, NorCal, to visit her family and just relax for the weekend. We're shooting to leave around 5ish tomorrow morning, and if all goes well, we'll be back 'round Monday. I think Mr. Rain posted once about the thought of croaking on the road and that even if it did happen, his blog would still live on the web... so he posted a picture of himself smiling, so that perhaps in that unlucky event, there'd be something happy of himself left in the wasteland of this world. I think I'll do the same... not many pictures of me smiling, but I did dig this one up of me when I was in Brasil teaching at Holiness Evangelica Igreja in Presidente Prudente. Happy memories. 
Find-A-Gar! Only slightly less popular than Wack-A-Mole. | (0) comments
It could be you...
Specialist Mitchell Roe, 20, of Canton, Mich., was on the frontline on Wednesday with the Third Battalion, 69th Armored Regiment. (NY Times) *** Today was a looooong day at work, but while waiting for edited video to render, I kept reading the news and I saw the above picture... The soldier looks Asian American, probably Korean I'm thinking (I had an old Korean American kendo/kumdo homie from the UW with the last name Roh). The guy is just 20 years old, younger than me, and he's putting his life on the line for these nebulous terms we always throw around here in America like duty, honor, freedom, and democracy. It could just as easily be me in his place right now, or perhaps in the future. I feel a bit relieved now that troops are drawing near to Baghdad and the end of the war perhaps is in sight. I'm still praying for the best, both for kids out there serving in our military, and for the millions of Iraqis caught in the middle of this. Makes you think. I suppose economic woes seem rather insignificant compared to it all... ...and I wonder if that m4 carbine with scope and m203 grenade launcher is as heavy as it looks. *edit update (7-10-03: Someone has informed me Mitch is Filipino. Coo. A salute to him and all our service men/women who fought in Iraq and continue to serve. May we consider carefully the meaning of duty, honor, freedom, and democracy... we cheapen their lives if we do not respect the values they hvae risked their lives for.* | (0) comments
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
The concept of Kendo is to discipline the human character through the application of the principles of the sword. The purpose of practicing Kendo is:
To mold the mind and body, To cultivate a vigorous spirit, And through correct and rigid training, To strive for improvement in the art of Kendo; To hold in esteem human courtesy and honor, To associate with others with sincerity, And to forever pursue the cultivation of oneself. Thus will one be able to love his country and society, To contribue to the development of culture, And to promote peace and prosperity among all people. -All Japan Kendo Federation Kendo practice was hard tonight, but relaxing. For two and a half hours, I'm just a plain 'ol kenshi named Chan and I relish the purity of just being someone who fights or someone to fight... not a half-employed, wounded soul looking for justification named Garrett. They say when you're fighting, it's a mirror to your soul. Well, my soul is pretty rough around the edges and messy in some of the details; but at least it still can take hits and dish out damage with some finesse... for now. I'm still standing on the razor's edge... hoping to be pulled back, not pushed. | (0) comments
Games mirroring reality...
US Military wargames prove prophetic given current circumstances. Fascinating articles. I can't believe I missed it when some of these ran last September. War Games vs War Reality How We Won The War Wake-Up Call For the record, I do believe the US will win in Iraq... the only questions of course, are how soon and at what cost. *** In other news, I saw a commerical for Better Luck Tomorrow for the FIRST time tonight on MTV2 while I was over eating dinner at Shiv's. Whoohooo! | (0) comments
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in?scrip?tion (n-skrip-shun)n.
the facts.
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