Thursday, January 26, 2006

I really like eating ochazuke. Not only is it a good use of day old rice (which usually gets turned to fried race), but the simplicity in both preparing it and enjoying it appeals to me. I like cooking, but sometimes it's nice to have a meal that's as easy (not to mention fast) as tearing open a packet and adding it to the rice.

I usually get my supply from Uwajimaya. Recently, I've discovered the value pack with it's multiple flavorings - nori(seaweed),?sake(salmon).?umeboshi(pickled plum), and tenchasorta tempura sauce + tea). It's probably one of the most healthiest things I eat on a regular basis... joy of joys.


Late munchies, insomnia, and ramblings.

My mind sorta spun a funny metaphor while I was preparing the ochazuke - I'm the same as the day old rice. Not fresh. Old. Lacking in flavor. A life completely left bland. I was both simultaneously weirded out and amused that my life has been reduced to comparisons to the food I eat... hell, I've already written about something involving apples. Being up late and having too much time to think about things sort of does that.

Anyways, now that the reality of 2006 sinks deeper in my brain, I feel more stale than ever. I've already written about how 2005 was all about "didn't happen's" for me, and like the cold rice in the bowl, I'm stale. Yeah, I'm doing my best to forward, to dutifully trudge onward and change things, to better my circumstances (ie get my master's degree, gainful employment, a place of my own, and lots 'o mammon, aka $$$). But honestly, I sometimes wonder how much a change in circumstances will help. Changing the circumstances of my life is analogous to adding the hot water to the old rice without the ochazuke packet - sure it'll change the temperature, but the rice will still be the same thing with the same taste. It's just one part of the equation.


Obviously, I'm touching on the fact that I'm very aware the void, that feeling of missing-ness. Anybody who knows me well knows that it has been one of my constant struggles to seek resolution to that emptiness, and for me, it centers all around The Man Upstairs. Yahweh. My lacking is not necessarily in believing that God is around, it's in my relationship to Him being around. I miss the confidence I once had that He cared about my life, and the lives of the people I love. I sense the reduction of the trust I feel that everything works out for the best and according to His plan. The confidence that came whenever I wasn't sure if I could help someone else or change something for the better, that He would be sufficient enough to provide that which was needed.

He's the ochazuke packet that despite my reservations, I still sense that I require to truly live (as corny as that sounds).

Now I find myself contemplating a lot of odd things. Like how immeasurably life would be easier if I didn't care to consider the spiritual side of things, and lived like an oblivious, consumeristic zombie listening to the latest Lindsey Lohan track and starching my A&F jeans with a "YAY BABYLON" t-shirt. Or how I could just ignore all the disappointments and heartache and tragedy that have happened in my life, especially in the past 4 years. I think of how if they ever invented to the technology to wipe out memories, I just might be the first step in line just so I could wipe the slate clean and start over. A new life, past every mistake and regret... a happier, more forward looking Gar. Hell, maybe I'd even settle for becoming some right-wing upper-class Christian yuppie blasting Sandy Patti & SCC out of my car, while I running over small animals in my SUV, and screaming "HALLEJAH" everytime I see Chuck Norris punch another black / latino drug dealer in the mouth on Walker Texas, Ranger, or cry tears of joy when I read the latest Amy Tam novel about how evil and oppressive us Chinese men are.

It's all foolish imaginings, though. The summation of my prayers over the past 4 years has been a painful silence, a blandness that this old bowl of rice, moment by moment, grows too accustomed too, and while I may possess the power to with just a though to open my ochazuke packet and pour the hot water, the entire focus of my spiritual anguish possess no power to move God and Heaven closer to me.

Instead, the bowl of old rice sits idle and waits, not so much by choice but by lack of choices. Similarly, I consign myself to the same. -_-



One day left to finish the (doomsday) social studies unit plan.


Hmm...when I look at people in the Bible, I also see that they went through tough times too. Some went through tough times even till their death. But I can't help but think that because of your heart and all the righteousness in your life that you're farther ahead than most people get in their lives.

Anyway, life is going to be rough for a majority of the people out there. But I still see that God does care. Look at Lazarus and the rich man. How bad can one get when one is starving and has dogs licking his wounds? Anyway, I think what I'm trying to say is that God knows and God cares. But He doesn't always save us from everything. I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing.

Sometimes life is not about what we can get out of it, but what we become through it. A soul is eternal, but everything else fades away. Anyway, I don't know if I helped or not, and I don't mean to lecture you, but definitely we're all stale rice and the ochazuke may or may not come. But nobody knows what the future will bring.
you're destined to become fried rice. rice for fried rice is sometimes made additionally on top of what is needed with the purpose for that reason. the fact it's extra doesn't make it less desirable, just not desirable until it's transformed.

if the rice isn't set aside to dry out and hardened, when you try to fry it, it just clumps together and doesn't take on the flavor and extra ingredients as well. so be prepared, you've been set aside to become more than just plain rice.
or you can stay in the rice cooker and become fermented rice. i think im fermented rice.

ochazuke is the shit. but the stuff i buy has MSG in it. it's still damn good.
jon, mel- thx.

dks- i should hit you up for some fermented rice moonshine recipes... haha.
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in?scrip?tion (n-skrip-shun)n.
1. The act or an instance of inscribing.
2. Something, such as the wording on a coin, medal, monument, or seal, that is inscribed.
3. A short, signed message in a book or on a photograph given as a gift.
4. The usually informal dedication of an artistic work.
5. Jeremiah 31:33

the facts.
name. Gar AKA "that Chinese guy" "Sleepy.McSleeping"
ethnicity/nationality. Chinese/American, 4th gen.
location. Sea-Town, WA, USA Kawanishi, JAPAN
occupation. less-cynical poor grad student
age. younger than you think, older than you know



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