playing the ass... literally

It's been a busy week, between work, going to church at night to help with the running of the annual VBS summer program, and helping the the future mrs. move into her new place.

Some random convos from the week.

• At Work
  Boss: Hey Gar, can you help me move this stuff to the upstairs office?
  Gar: Sure, no problem.
  
  (pick up stuff)
  
  Gar: Oof, this stuff is actually a little bit heavy. I'm getting flashbacks to helping my fiancee move into her new place.
  Boss: You're getting married?! When did this happen?
  Gar: A couple of weeks ago. Didn't I tell you?
  Boss: No.
  Gar: Oops. Ummm, yeah... I'm getting married!
  Boss: Ha, took you long enough.
  
  
  
• At Work, #2
  (I walk into lunchroom to see Sol's new wife Annie dropping by with a nice lunch for him)
  
  Gar: Whoa, nice! Did she make that just for you?
  Sol: Yep! Oh yeah, I heard the news. Congrats! Look what you have to look forward to, eh?
  Gar: Haha. AWESOME!
  
  
  
• Price of Fun & Admission
  (at KOOTS planning meeting for this years' Warm Beach)
  
  C.Shimabukuro>So now, on to this year's budget and registration...
  Rodimus Bhang>Yeah, it seems a little bit high this year.
  C.Shimabukuro>I know $250 is a lot for a youth camp...
  Gar>!!!
  C.Shimabukuro>...but it is for four days...
  Gar>Well, 2 half-days and 2 full days...
  Rodimus Bhang>Why is it so expensive this year?
  C.Shimabukuro>Well, the camp says insurance costs for one thing...
  Gar>I almost busted my ankle last year...
  Rodimus Bhang>...and then, there was the whole thing of one of the kids breaking their arm on the pavement and having to go to the hospital...
  Gar>...
  
  
• Chinese Soulfood
  (I walk into the fellowship hall and head to the serving table. I make myself a plate of char-siu, rice, and cabbage after putting money in the basket marked "$2". Auntie Quan, sees me and walks over to the basket, takes out my money, and shoves back into my pocket)
  
  Auntie Quan>No.
  Gar>Auntie! Let me pay.
  Auntie Quan>I don't take your moms money. I don't take your money.
  
  (auntie smiles)
  
  Gar>But...
  
  (auntie shakes her head and blocks me.)
  
  Gar>Fine...
  
  (You can't win an argument with a sweet Chinese grandma. Auntie points to the serving tray)
  
  Auntie Quan>More char-siu.
  
  
  
• Ass or... ?
  (while rehearsing for a skit of the Good Samaritan for VBS and the kids)
  
  Gar>So I'm supposed to play a robber AND the donkey?
  Other Teacher>Yep!
  Gar>So shouldn't I have at least two different costumes so the kids won't be confused when they see me in the story twice?
  Other Teacher>What do you mean?
  Gar>Well, they're gonna think the Samaritan is riding on a robber. Not a donkey.
  Other Teacher>I see what you mean. Let me make you something.
  
  (other teacher goes away and comes back in 5 minutes with two long cardboard ears, glued to a visor)
  
  Other Teacher>How's this?
  
  (I put the visor on... the ears stand straight up)
  
  Other Teacher's Kid>You look like a rabbit. HAHAHA!
  Gar>...doh.
  

posted by G at 11:57 PM   |

in?scrip?tion (n-skrip-shun)n.
1. The act or an instance of inscribing.
2. Something, such as the wording on a coin, medal, monument, or seal, that is inscribed.
3. A short, signed message in a book or on a photograph given as a gift.
4. The usually informal dedication of an artistic work.
5. Jeremiah 31:33