Sunday, April 02, 2006
I went to visit when school finished on Friday, right after I cleaned up the classroom and grabbed some materials for my lesson planning. I stopped by grocery store for flowers, and ended up with flowers plus a can of Kirin. At that time, a pint seemed much more natural than food or water.
As I cleaned the headstone, and put water in the vase for the flowers, it occurred to me that as I grow older, it's supposed to become easier for me to forgive people who don't understand. Yes, the most infuriating thing is when some people lie to me and say "I understand", and that would piss me off, but nowadays, I tend to shrug off the feelings of irritation as I try to appreciate the sympathetic intentions behind their words.
For obvious reasons, unless they too lost a parent as a child and witnessed their parent's passing, I can't believe them. Maybe only when that day comes that they must bury their own will they understand just an inkling of what I've carried with me for about 16 years. If I'm feeling particularly heartless about that time, that's when I'll return to them the advice they would so glibly pass my way. I'd whisper it straight to their tear-stricken faces... "Oh, you'll get over it."
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Coincidentally, there's Ching Ming Festival this week.
My family used to do ching ming. The food looked so tasty. The last time I went it was like a party in the cemetary, all these young people were blasting their stereos in the midst of helping out their folks, I guess. =)
Evan- yeah, it seems recently, more places around here are doing Ching Ming events. I don't remember doing it as a kid unless my family happened to visiting California.
talk about coincidental...
for some reason i was thinking about your father's bday today at the dinner table. don't ask why - no clue why.
Hey! It's cool that you still go visit your father. I have seized to visit my mother after she passed away. Sometimes it's too hard to go there. I fantasize when I get older that I would one day go everyday and visit her.Post a Comment
When people say they understand, it's pretty frusturating I agree. It makes me sad, because they really don't understand. When people say that it knocks up a feeling in you. You see your parent a person who you looked up to, loved, and they were like everything to you and they suffer. Whether it was a few months or up to 2 years in the hospital.
Happy Birthday to your father. God is watching over you, your family, and your father! One day we'll get to see those who have passed.