Saturday, October 29, 2005
walking on water, sinking into the sea
I was asked to speak tonight and give a short message to the high school / junior high kids at my church on the topic of "faith". It's a bit hard to imagine covering every thing about a topic as big as "faith" in a single lesson, but I did my best to try and give the them at least a couple of things to think about... though reflecting on my own struggles, it was almost as if the lesson I was writing was for myself as much as for them. .:.
.:. As I prepared for the lesson, the one thing that kept coming back to me about the passage was Peter and what he did. He had enough faith to see Jesus and to try to walk out on the water toward him, but despite his best intentions, he fails... he sees the storm, the howling wind, the water, and it distracts so much, that he begins to drown. I guess that's the point where I empathize the most with him, because I see my own struggles mirrored in his place in the story. For much of my life, especially since the time I was baptized back in 1997, I've tried to do my best to follow God, to focus my attentions on serving Him and others, but I always feel like I come up short... that no matter how far I manage to walk across the water, I always end up sinking into the sea, whether it's through circumstances or my own stupid mistakes. I guess it's only a combination of divine grace and my own stubborn, silent survivor tendencies that has carried me through life so far. And maybe that's part of the problem. Having faith means having trust. And that trust means that somehow, I have come back to a place of vulnerability when I can believe in my heart that when I slip beneath waves, He will reach out and save me just as He saved Peter. I know I need to be at that place, because I don't want to be another idiot just living a thoughtless, meaningless, and -worst of all-, a hopeless life. But I'm not there yet. |
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in?scrip?tion (n-skrip-shun)n.
the facts.
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