sleep is the cousin of death...

It's been a strange day... a lines between reality and dreams blurred enough to make me scared to sleep again.

Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

I slept about 14 hours today, 5AM-PM... lost in that dream world. When I woke up, I wanted to go back... but I knew I couldn't. Instead of being lifted by the thought of that dream world, my heart fell into deeper sadness. Back into the grayness that surrounds me, covers me... the melancholy of here and now.

I don't want to go back to sleep... not because I'm scared of the dream world. The dream world was a paradise, a reality where nothing went wrong and everything is how I thought it was supposed to be. A vision of a different life for myself blissful, untouched by the cruelty of unfortunate circumstances, so perfect... it was maddening.

People like me fear dreams because they make us hate the world we live in all the more... to taste bliss and know you will never have it is the cruelest torture imaginable. To see that hope is nothing more than a carrot dangled in front of the donkey, plodding around and around and around... an endless circle of fruitless toil to turn someone else's millstone...

Spare me dreams and give me dreamless slumber...
posted by G at 2:39 AM   |

in?scrip?tion (n-skrip-shun)n.
1. The act or an instance of inscribing.
2. Something, such as the wording on a coin, medal, monument, or seal, that is inscribed.
3. A short, signed message in a book or on a photograph given as a gift.
4. The usually informal dedication of an artistic work.
5. Jeremiah 31:33