Monday, October 28, 2002
drama for yo mama...
I'm never the one to attract drama, but it always seems to strike those around me, in waves of chaos from the proverbial ocean of relational friction. Lately, it seems that a lot of people around me are struggling with unequal friendships/relationships... the kind where it seems one side of the equation is putting in more work than the other. I'm the one to think that normally, any sort of relationship is a give or take affair... sometimes you give more than you take and vice versa. But I can also understand the situation where it's always the same person giving while the other person is taking. That sucks... I myself have been caught in those relationships on occasion. It's a endless cycle, an attractive trap... you keep giving and giving, hoping the other person will someday reciprocate or at least be grateful... but alas, some people become relational vacuums, blackholes of goodwill... they suck it all up and never give any of it back.
People ask me for advice about such situations and I'm not sure what to tell them... or more accurately, I'm hesitant to say what I myself would do in such situations, since I know my personality sometimes tend to being aloof, cold, and yes... even cruel. I value loyalty as a virtue to my (and in) friends, but people who I percieve as selfish (ie, I cannot or rarely recall incidents of them showing some sacrificial love in our friendships)... they get no love. I think I've mentioned this before in this little weblog of mine... selfishness/self-centered-ness is a highly disgusting trait to me. I avoid it like the plague and people that are like that, I go outta my way to stay away from.
Case in point: my crazed wrestling coach/ringworm-carrying/ESPN lazzy arse Korean roommate from my junior year in college. Through a complex situation, I ended up having to live with the guy. While he wasn't the anti-Christ in a t-shirt, his self-centeredness made me loathe to be in his presence. Consequently, I spent almost every waking hour of my life that year at the Odegaard undergrad computer lab, studying / playing Starcraft. Hell, I was there so much, I became friends with all the other Korean people playing SC... who upon learning who my roommate was, sadly understood why I was at Odegaard all the time.
I forgot to mention I also saw Punch-Drunk-Love yesterday. It was definitely a very odd movie... quirky, but in a very well-constructed way. It seemed to be almost like the director (who also directed Boogie Nights and Magnolia) was very intentional about things in the movies... from the static shots, to muted sound in some scenes. I think I'd have to see it again to catch all the symbolism and subtlety of it.
But yeah... one memorable aspect of the movie is Barry Ekin's passive agressive rage (Adam Sandler's character). You have to watch the movie to understand his pain (his seven sisters, yikes), but he really lets loose in a lot of scenes (the rage is even more furious than Waterboy and Happy Gilmore). I laughed definitely, but I sympathized too.
Side note: If the world was a person, I'd beat the living hell outta right now and feel damn good from doing so.
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