...enscriptCHUN.

all good things come to an end...

2006-12-31T14:54:00.000-08:00

all good things come to an end...

...sorta.

When I first started this blog back in April of 2001, I was a different person and the world was a different place.

As I've struggled, laughed, lamented, watched the world, traveled around the globe, and grown as a person over the past 5 years, I've chronicled most of it on this blog... probably more than I should have. I've made over 1,600+ posts which according to my suspect math skills, averages out to 320 posts a year - which roughly means that 88% of the year, I was writing on this blog. Nuts, huh?

I never intended this blog to have an audience except for myself, but somehow along the way, it's managed to pick up some other regular readers... if you're part of the 98,291 visitors who've wandered through, I salute you in this final post on this blog. Many thanks to you all for reading, and I hope that through the reading of my experiences, you've managed to ~~learn~~ figure out what (or what not to do) with this strange and wonderful blessing called life.

Peace...

.:.

Of course, I'm not completely leaving behind my blogging ways... just making a change of sorts. Yes, I've already gone and started another blog, but I'll let the clever folks out there figure out where it is. Those of my long time readers who are too lazy to do so can e-mail me at (myfirstnamelastname)(at)(gmail)(dot)(com) and I'll let you know where I've moved... if I haven't contacted you already. ;)

unofficial wedding photograhers, unite

2006-12-26T15:31:00.000-08:00

unofficial wedding photograhers, unite

While brand-new wifey and I still waiting for our photos from pros at GHKim, it's been fun to see the photos that various friends and fam have taken of the wedding, since I was little bit busy myself to take some shots. Some links to photos:

Cousin Timon has some pretty photos on his SmugMug account.
-Mega cute flowergirls and ringbearer
-bouqet toss... look at the expression on my sister's face (far right)
Straight-Outta-Babylon, hardc0re teacher Steph has a big gallery starting right here.
-Shiv and her bridesmaids
-old Maplewood apt. life crew (+spouses, -some missing folks)
-old AACF core from '00-'01
Crazy cuz Meg has a great photo post right here. Gotta dig all the cousin shots!

on hiatus

2006-12-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

on hiatus

So yeah... the whole wedding thing. There was lots of pre-ceremony and post-ceremony craziness, especially because of the power.

Married life. Lots o' changes. Plenty of things to write about.

Be back in a couple of weeks... until then, I hope everybody has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stay safe and enjoy the time with loved ones!

hearts in the darkness

2006-12-15T20:05:00.000-08:00

hearts in the darkness

If the upcoming wedding wasn't enough craziness... a recent mega-windstorm has knocked power all around the greater Seattle area, especially the eastside and south. My mom's house has been without power since late last night, and they're not expecting to restore power for awhile. The governor even declared a state of emergency.

Aiyah.

Less than 48 hours until the big day.

Dennis' funeral

2006-12-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

Dennis' funeral

FYI for this Saturday (12/16)

The funeral service for Dennis Lam will be held at 12:15pm at Chinese Baptist Church in Seattle. The address: 5801 Beacon Ave S; Seattle, WA 98108

The burial service will be held at 2:30pm at Sunset Hill Memorial in Bellevue near Crossroads. The address: 1215 145th Pl SE Bellevue, WA 98007

Let us honor our friend and continue to support his family.

...

Blog echoes...

for a friend

2006-12-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

for a friend

In times like these, I'm reminded of how sometimes there's nothing to say. Words, in all their use and power, can still sometimes fail to capture the depths of the human heart... our grief, our deep sorrow, and even our melancholy joy...

Rest in peace, Dennis.

Everyone here mourns your passing, and yet, we know you no longer suffer. Your soul is with God now, and we know that you've gone ahead of us all to prepare the way...

*EDIT*

Added some pictures of Dennis on my Flickr account.

who is that masked man?

2006-12-09T23:51:00.000-08:00

who is that masked man?

Really.

Nope, I'm not joining any underground revolutionary movements or getting into doing graf... work has just been busy. It's been refreshing to do some new kinds of things.

Just 8 more days.

.:.

it's still not funny

The latest celebrity to join the "I'm A Stupid Idiot Who Likes To Spew Racist Language" club is none other than Rosie O'Donnell - check out this YouTube link of her demonstrating her mastery of "ching chong ching chong" Chinese (it's also linked up on Gawker).

I've never been a fan of her... now I have a real reason to intensely dislike her.

The worst part about the clip in my eyes is that nobody even dares to call O'Donnell on her racist BS... the other hosts on the show laugh. Ha ha ha... ching chong! So funny! It's always hilarious to make fun of chinks and their language!.

Feel free to let 'em have it... contact "The View" right here and tell them that the Asian American community isn't gonna sit on this one... if we're gonna call out Shaq, Adam Carolla, and others, we definitely have to call out O'Donnell to make a public apology for her BS.

(Thanks to AngryAsianMan for the original story tip).

personal et cetera

2006-12-06T02:48:00.000-08:00

personal et cetera

The future Mrs. had her birthday this last weekend. I took her out to eat tasty Indian food at the obviously labeled joint, Naan-N-Curry, in downtown Renton. It was our first time there, but the food lived up to my (Google researched) hype. Delicious stuff, and best of all, she was happy.
I got a new phone... a very sexy LG vx8600. I've been itching to get a new phone, especially since I've been using it a lot lately to call and arrange wedding stuff. It has lots of nifty features, and it's probably the first phone I've used here in the US that's superior to the phone I had while I was in Japan.

Plays mp3s (even space for podcasts, heh), video, and has a 1.3 megapixel camera... not to mention Bluetooth support, and a featherweight physical profile with expandable memory via removable microSD ram. Nifty.

And best of all... it was FREE! All thanks to the fact that I haven't upgraded and my service contract was up. I <3 free.
Oh yeah... grad school. Things are looking up. Now I gotta make moves to get things ready for January.
The wedding is less than two weeks away. Crazy.

.:.

On a not personal note, but a cool / social justice note...

The first OLPC has recently been built! (photos)

What a great project idea.

better than boot camp

2006-12-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

better than boot camp

Got a bad kid? Forget boot camp or juvie... send him to a monastery.

Tough-love remedy for an unruly teen: Two years. With monks. In Cambodia.

...

I'm a sure a lot of non-Asians who read that article might think it was cruel for the parents of that kid to do that to him, but personally, I think it shows a lot of love on their part. After all, if you really do love your child, you care not only about their physical and mental development, but their moral development as well. They saw that their son was heading on a self-destructive path and they did something to stop him from going down it further.

a question

2006-12-01T22:56:00.000-08:00

a question

An inquiring mind would love to know.

The Question:
Given only these two choices for the rest of your life, would you rather be...

A. Unloved and very lonely, but completely brilliant and competent in everything you do.

-OR-

B. Completely not respected and wholly inadequate in everything you do, but surrounded by people who love you.

Respond in the comments... writing your reasoning is optional.

simple breakfast for a simple guy

2006-11-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

simple breakfast for a simple guy

さけお茶ずけ aka salmon ochazuke.

Perfect food for a cold day in a cold world. I envy its simplicity.

more snow

2006-11-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

more snow

Yep, more snow.

it'll probably end with "oops", but i hope it doesn't

2006-11-29T04:46:00.000-08:00

it'll probably end with "oops", but i hope it doesn't

Ramblings.

With all the crazy snow and ice action happening around the Seattle area lately, I think I've been strangely unfazed by it all... at least until this past night. I had my own personal, ridiculous episode of "The ~~Fast~~ Moderately Quick and the ~~Furious~~ Partially-Zombified: ~~Tokyo~~ Renton Drift."

Because I don't want to go into the lengthy explanation of the details, it's probably best to summarize what happened in a series of mistakes:

I decided to go out after work for hot pot at the usual Sichuanese joint with the guys from our small group instead of going straight home like a normal person who's sick with a cold should.
I, being a man who is filled with love for the cuisine of the motherland, ate a lot of food over hotpot, especially tofu and dumplings, which induced a food coma. (it was all-you-can-eat, and you gotta take advantage)
I embark on the ride home in the dark with icy roads, sick & groggy with food coma, rolling in a 16-year old frontwheel drive car that didn't put on its chains, and driving on the backroads because I though the freeways would be filled with crazier people than me.
About 15 minutes away from home, I'm making a right hand turn on a green light, when I feel the entire rear of my car drifting outward in a continuous motion to my left, crossing lanes as I'm entering the turn. As my hands clutch the wheel, my eyes looking ahead at oncoming traffic, I instinctively try and turn to correct the motion. My stupified self, without a scream or a shout, blinks, and thinks, "Is this the moment I stupidly crash and die?" And only one word escaped my lips:

"Oops."

In the mere microseconds while I'm thinking the above thought, three ironic facts occur to me:
- Irony 1.
  I'm about to die less than 5 minutes away from the Group Health clinic I used go to as a child.
- Irony 2.
  I'm about to die less than 5 minutes away from the cemetery where my father is buried.
- Irony 3.
  I'm about to die less than a few weeks before I'm supposed to get married.

But obviously, I don't die.

By a miraculous exact steering correction and the completely unmerited grace of God, I didn't overcompensate or undercompensate, I merely drifted a few lanes before regaining traction and avoiding colliding with any of the other cars coming at me. My heart didn't skip a beat and I just kept on driving. Maybe the cold weather made me calm and numb to the craziness of it all.

...

Strangely enough, it now occurs to me that the mysterious flat tire that I had several weeks in October may have just saved my life. If not for that flat tire, I would have never replaced my front tires... and if not for my new front tires, I might not have been able to get the traction I needed to power my way into controlling my drift.

Maybe I've been watching too much Heroes (just started last week), but the imaginative side of me wonders if a future person traveled back in time via mutant teleportation that bends space and time to purposely slash my tire in order to save my life from ending in a car crash.

Or maybe my mind dreams up such fantastical explanations because part of me has trouble fathoming a divine miracle saving my life... is there something in my life worth saving that it merits a strange miracle of potentially connected circumstances?

...

For some reason, part of me has always felt my life already dangles on a shortened thread. I suppose that's why everything that happened after college was so difficult for me to endure; I felt like the plans I had made to maximize the shortness of the time had been smashed and that my quarter-life crisis was in actually my mid-life crisis. But I know it's silly for me to presume how long or short my life will be. Only God knows.

Regardless, I'm thankfully that for now, that it's been preserved... I think I'd be ashamed even in death if I died with an "oops" rather than something more honorable and glorious like, "Live on without me" or "I did it for you" or "Freeeeeeeeeeedom...". Really.

first snow

2006-11-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

first snow

Both this past weekend and today have been filled a lot of snow, which has disrupted traffic and shutdown so local schools - meaning there's been a whole lot of angry commuters, and a whole lot of happy kids.

Though it's cold here in Seattle in November, it's been a long time since we've had snow here in November. Is it another sign of climate change that has happened because of humanity's abuse of the environment?

Seems pretty lucky.

podcast episode 11

2006-11-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

podcast, episode 11

Since it was Thanksgiving and it's the holiday season, I decided to do the podcast along the themes of family + childhood + hip-hop. I meant to post this podcast on Friday morning, but I got sucked into the (lame) Black Friday sales... oh well. At least it was a good time with friends, and I did manage to get some cheap DVDs ($8 to .99 cents!), along with some Xmas gift shopping done.

You can download it directly from this link right here. (right click & save as)

The podcast is about ~34minutes long, and is ~31.2mb, 128kb mono MP3.

Playlist of songs in the cast:

1. Ahmad - Back In The Day
2. Nas & 9th Wonder - 2nd Childhood (remix)
3. Common f. Bilal, Pops - Be
4. Kanye West - Family Business
5. Ghostface Killah f. Mary J. Blige - All That I Got Is You

Background music :

NUJABES - くもみ (Kumomi)

If you're interested in more, check out the IIStix podcasting project. Links to previous GarPodcasts....

-Podcast 10 - Summer Music: J-Pop
-Podcast 09 - Summer Music: Hip-Hop
-Podcast 08 - Love Songs
-Podcast 07 - "Mystery" Theme + Hip-Hop
-Podcast 06 - Reggae / Dancehall Songs
-Podcast 05 - Cover Songs
-Podcast 04 - Hip-Hop Music Sampled from Movies
-Podcast 03 - Music Heard in Movies / TV / Anime / Video Games
-Podcast 02 - Miscellaneous
-Podcast 01 - Songs from Seattle Area Bands

top chef

2006-11-22T23:38:00.000-08:00

top chef 2

Anybody else a fan of Top Chef?

My mom and fiancee are avid watchers of the show, and they've gotten me hooked on watching it (especially since LOST is on mid-season hiatus right now). My epicurean tendencies in the realm of food are what first got me interested because cooking is one of those things that I can do OK, but if I had more time, I'd love to learn to do it better... watching how the chefs do their thing is one part educational, one part entertainment (though some of the dishes seem a bit too artsy-fartsy, food nazi for me).

I'm rooting for Cliff to win, the self-taught cook from NY. He has a pretty laid-back, no nonsense demeanor, and his cooking has been pretty impressive so far - he's already won several challenges, including a 30-minute sushi challenge judged by a professional sushi chef! A black man making good sushi... gotta love the smashing of stereotypes. ;)

Also on the show's site: Lee Anne Wong, one of the better chef-contestants from last season, shows how to cook some Turducken Roulade. Awesome!

If you happen to be bored tomorrow on Thanksgiving Day, I think there's a marathon tomorrow of the first six or so episodes.

beware

2006-11-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

beware

Reposted from AAM... a warning to all my Asian American sisters and aunties who live in NorCal:

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS RAPIST SICKO?

There's a serial rapist out there targeting Asian women in Northern California. Investigators say they believe at least nine rapes and one attempted rape over the past 15 years in the area are linked to one man. They say he struck again last month, raping two women: Northern California serial rapist sought.

He is described as white, 37 to 40 years old, 5 foot 8 inches to 6 feet tall, 200 to 250 pounds with a protruding stomach. He's been seen driving a white Toyota 4-Runner with tinted rear windows. All of his victims since 1996 have been Asian women.

More here: Nine rapes tied to masked stalker. Spread the word and be aware, my sisters.

Some frightening details from one of the articles:

All his known victims since that year have been Asian women who were attacked across a broad swath of Northern California. His first known victims, in Rohnert Park in 1991 and Vallejo in 1992, were white.

During his attacks, the man has threatened his victims with a knife or a gun and often wears disguises.

After raping two women in Davis in 1997, he was photographed wearing a clear, formfitting hockey mask while using one of the victim's debit cards at a Woodland ATM.

On Halloween 1996, he approached a woman's home in Martinez while wearing a skeleton mask. When she opened the door, he forced his way in, raped her and stole her ATM card. About three weeks later, he called her at work to apologize.

"He's a pretty demented person that he would somehow think that the victim would enjoy that," Detective Sgt. Gary Peterson said.

Be careful of your surroundings and stay safe...

ill at ease

2006-11-18T16:36:00.000-08:00

ill at ease

When something is beyond your control, you can rationally try to convince yourself not to worry about it. You can try to remind yourself that you should have faith that things will work out for the best and if something was meant to be, then it will happen in due time.

Sometimes though, it doesn't matter.

Sometimes no amount of rationalization can stop you from worrying... as stupid as that sounds. I guess you might call it being helpless in the face of one's own humanity.

i have zero fashion sense

2006-11-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

i have zero fashion sense

Yesterday, I was doing my volunteering at the school and I got to teach a short lesson on writing to the kids. Since the focus of my short lesson was on the importance of details and good descriptions in a piece of writing, I decided to get the kids' attention for the exercise by using a funny picture I took during my short trip to LA last year to attend Grace and Joe's wedding. My friends Simon, Jermaine, and I were in a Barnes and Noble that happened to be giving away free fake glasses in anticipation of the release of the new Harry Potter book.

You can imagine the laughs and funny pieces of writing I got using the above, but the best conversation went like this:

student: Mr. Chan, you look really weird in that picture.
Gar: (innocently) Really? How come?
student: It's the Harry Potter glasses and your Bruce Lee t-shirt...
Gar: What about them?
student: They totally don't match. Duh.

I've been busted by a 5th grade fashionista. The shame.

contemplating lazarus

2006-11-13T23:21:00.000-08:00

contemplating lazarus

Ironically, the dead guy isn't the complete center of the story.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.

"Where have you laid him?" he asked.

"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"

But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"

I'm currently working on a short devotional on John 11 for the high schoolers at my youth group this Saturday. While it's easy to spin Bible stories and regurgitate old cliches, I feel like God has been challenging me a lot this year to use Scripture to develop in the kids both a deeper understanding of the world we live in and a motivation to act accordance to the principles we hold so highly. That can be a bit of tall order, especially concerning such a well-known story like Lazarus'.

It's times like these where I wish we had Matrix-esque technology and I could just download several years of seminary / formal theological training into my brain to help write a compelling message.

love for chinatown

2006-11-12T23:47:00.000-08:00

love for chinatown

Typical Western media depictions of "Chinatowns" often characterize the areas as being dirty, seedy part of town inhabited by babbling, inscrutable yellow folks, an accessible Oriental zoo for non-Asians to oogle at ("Oooh, that's so exotic!") while sampling food that is often specifically to cater to a gweilo palette. Of course, what else would you expect from a society that still thinks that throwing around the word "chink" and "ching chong" are funny jokes?

Most Chinese Americans (and other Asian Americans) like myself have had a sometime ambivalent attitude toward Chinatowns. On one hand, Chinatowns are another variation of America's ethnic ghettos, a place where early Asian immigrants from China, the Philippines, and Japan were confined because white people wouldn't let them live anywhere else.

On the other hand, Chinatowns have been a place of community solidarity, a bastion of ethnic pride in the face of ugly racism and discrimination. In Chinatown, nobody looks down on you if you happen to be speaking a language other English... in Chinatown, you could finally eat good food from your ethnic homeland instead of being forced to dine on the poor slop that most Americans call "cuisine". In short, in Chinatown, the early Asian immigrants found a home away from home in a country that welcomed their labor, but hated their culture and labeled them as sub-human.

Nowadays, with most forms of overt discrimination having been outlawed, Asian Americans have the freedom in theory to live whereever they'd like. In Seattle, successive generations of prosperous Chinese American and other Asian American families have moved further and further away from Chinatown; first to Beacon Hill, then to the rest of the eastside to places like Mercer Island and Bellevue.

For myself, growing up as a 4th generation Chinese American in Seattle, I'm well aware of the strange dichotomy of weekdays living/going to school in a predominantly white suburb while during the weekends, my family would attend a Chinese American church on Beacon Hill and eat/shop in Chinatown. I always looked forward to weekends; not only was there no school, it was a chance to eat dim sum and be around people who never would make fun of because I wasn't white. My parents, who had grown up in the Bay Area as part of San Francisco and Oakland's Chinatowns, quite unintentionally instilled in me a love for Seattle's Chinatown / International District.

...

Sidenote:

For the best bubbletea in Seattle, go to a hole-in-the-wall joint named Ambrosia, down from the corner of King and Maynard street, across from Hing Hay Park.

Current favorite: mango yogurt smoothie with tapioca.
All time favorite: regular milk tea with lychee jelly.

veteran's day

2006-11-10T05:21:00.000-08:00

veteran's day

Thank you.

May all of us remember your courage and honor your sacrifices.

...

Some Veteran's Day reading:

Honoring Veterans of Color - By my favorite columnist, Jerry Large.
Colonel Young Oak Kim & The Distinguished Service Cross - An oral history interview Korean American WW2 veteran and a former officer of the legendary 442nd Regimental Combat Team that was composed primarily of Japanese American Nisei. Someone ought to make a movie about this man's life and about the heroism of the 442nd RCT.
Chinese American veterans' service often gets overlooked - A good article from last year about Chinese American vets here in Seattle.
Justice for Filipino American Veterans - Watch the video link on the page.

...

In more war-related news: When Soldiers Fall, Grief Binds a Unit's 2 Worlds. NY Times article.

rain, rain

2006-11-09T12:08:00.000-08:00

rain, rain

California has earthquakes and wildfires. New York has blizzards and heat waves. Florida has hurricanes.

Good 'ol Seattle has rain and flooding.

leading on or being lead on?

2006-11-08T23:51:00.000-08:00

leading on or being led on?

Moi-moi said the fortune was prophetic... at least until she opened up another fortune cookie and got the same fortune. Haha.

Some people have been blessed by God with a clear indication of their destiny and purpose in life, along with the confidence to pursue it... on the flipside, other folks such as myself have instead been assigned the more foggy, grey, and twisting path to meander / wander / blunder through. I've been doing it for over two and half decades, and I'm still getting used to it.

...

It's been about 7 months since it happened, and admittedly, it's another addition to my own inconsequential list of personal tragedies. In about 12 days though, I'll be finding out whether or not my current career plans will be taking the route I was hoping for. Friends and family have been very supportive of me, trying to encourage me that things are a "slamdunk," but the cynic in me is already wondering what will happen if things don't go quite as planned. I've fooled myself too many times before that things were going to be OK and they weren't.

There's a strange loneliness to being afraid of one's own foolishness.

I've tried to focus my mind on various other tasks, situations, and distractions, but even when I'm engrossed in doing something else -whether it's work, wedding planning, watching a movie, being a nerd - I feel that uneasiness lingering in the background, marinating in my brain juices. Sleep is getting restless again for all the wrong reasons.

Time for a nightcap. Or two.

she said / he said

2006-11-06T01:17:00.000-08:00

she said / he said

As the wedding plans continue to progress and things are entering their final stage, I think it's safe to say that stress levels are mounting. Witnessing other friends go through the process when they got married might have given me an inkling of what it's all like, but of course, going through it yourself it quite different.

Nothing compares to firsthand experience, eh?

...

photo modified from mr.potatoe found via flickr

One of the things that has been interesting (at least IMO) has been attending premarital counseling sessions with my fiancee's pastor and his wife from her church. While we're using a book as the basis for the sessions, the pastor has been flexible (and skilled) enough to often move the conversations to a more deeper and engaging level... which is also often peppered with entertaining anecdotes from the pastor's own marriage (or his wife's version of the events).

This past week, the topic of the conversation was "communication."

I think some people are under the impression that a soon-to-be-married couple communicates via clairvoyant telepathy, however I'll be the first to admit that there are times that I'm completely baffled by the things my fiancee says or does. It's like we're speaking different languages, but hey... men and women having problems communicating?

Gee, like that isn't a novel problem. (rolls eyes)

...

As a man, I will confess that sometimes I chalk up issues of miscommunication to the fact that all women have certain aspects of bizarro logic and craziness in them, whether obvious or hidden.

Exhibit A: Why do some girls maddog each other? (as in this funny incident recorded by a fellow blogger?)
Exhibit B: Why is the universal response to the question, "What's wrong?" always is "NOTHING." even when something IS wrong? (see previous comments about mindreading)
Exhibit C: Why do girls resent being asked to make decisions about things? (is it as James theorizes?

...

I'm not sure where this entry is going, but I don't mean it as a diss against all the women of the world. I have a lot of respect for women; I was raised by a widowed mother and (kinda) helped to raise a little sister. I guess all of this is a long way of saying that because there certain differences in the way men and women are acculturated to think and behave, and these differences show up in the ways they interact and communicate with each other... and these interactions only get magnified once you're married to someone and pretty much living your entire life with them. (duh, right?)

The pastor who's counseling my fiancee and I commented how we're quite similar to most of the couples he's counseled in terms of communication styles - men being predominantly "cognitive communicators" (facts, ideas, judgments) while women being predominantly "emotional communicators" (verbalizing how they feel or how they think others feel about facts, ideas, judgments). However, the key point that came up in discussions was that rather than expecting to master the other person's style of communication, the first skill that needs to be learned is "how to listen."

An excerpt from the book:

What is listening? Paul Tournier said, "How beautiful, how grand and liberating this experience is, when people learn to help each other. It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to. Listen to all the conversations of our world, between nations as well as those between couples. They are, for the most part, dialogues of the deaf..."

What do we mean by listening? When we are truly listening to another person we are not thinking about what we are going to say when he/she stops talking. We are not busy formulating our response. We are concentrating on what is being said. Listening is also complete acceptance without judgment of what is said or how it is said. Often we fail to hear the message because we don't like the message or the tone of voice. We react and miss the meaning of what was being shared.

By acceptance, we do not mean agreeing with everything that is being said. Acceptance means understanding that what the other person is saying is something he/she feels. Real listening means that we should be able to repeat both what the other person has said and what we thought he was feeling when he was speaking to us.

...

December is coming up fast.

news news news

2006-11-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

news news news

With Election Driven by Iraq, Voters Want Change (NY Times) - More news on the heated election... looks like both parties are making one final push, but it's still anyone's guess as to what will happen.
Medic Aids Marine with Skill and a Prayer (NY Times) - A short story from the frontlines of Iraq, from one soldier's perspective.
Liberal Christian Group Puts Faith to Work (Seattle Times) - A story on the continuing growth of Christian groups who embrace opposition to the current domination of fundamentalist-type politics. Personally, I prefer the term "progressive Christianity" rather than "liberal Christianity".

They also interview David Domke, a local UW professor whose research has focused on politics and the media, especially the current administration, in his book "God Willing? : Political Fundamentalism in the White House, 'War on Terror', and the Echoing Press"". I actually had the privilege of taking a class taught by him when I was an undergrad and I found him to be a very intelligent, energetic teacher.
Exploring the Language of the Post-September 11th US Policy (NPR) - Awesome NPR series that discusses the importance and the implied meanings behind current words used in political/social discussions like "jihad", "Islamofascism", "War on Terror", "Imperialism", and "Democracy". A number of scholars and politicians are interviewed, including Francis Fukuyama, a scholar and author whose works on the triumph of liberal democracy in the Cold War struggle have often been cited by neo-conservatives, but who has now distanced himself from the movement.

-Part 1: 'Jihad'
-Part 2: 'Islamofascism'
-Part 3: 'War on Terror'

goldfish

2006-10-31T23:55:00.000-08:00

goldfish

From this past weekend's carnival.

One of the most popular games is the "goldfish game", where kids throw a ping-pong ball over several small bowls filled with water. If the ball lands in a "special bowl", they win a real goldfish that they can take home and keep. Many of the goldfish that get taken home soon die because the kids don't take good care of them - they forget to feed them, they're too rough with them, they don't clean the tank, etc.

When I was a kid, I remember playing the same game... but I always took good care of my goldfish. I can even remember the names I gave the goldfishes I used to own.

Anyways, a strange thought I had while I watched the kids play the goldfish game:

When it comes to relationships, many people treat other people, even their spouses, as poorly as some of those children will treat those goldfish. Maybe they're cruel and callous, or maybe they're just careless... but it still happens, both in small and big ways.

I just hope that I never become one of those people.

catapult kids and sleepy head gar

2006-10-30T01:12:00.000-08:00

catapult kids and capt'n sleepy

My church had its annual fall carnival this past weekend, so I went to both help out, supervise the high school students manning the booths, and of course... eat some carnival food (mmm, popcorn, hotdogs, and candy). A large amount of kids showed up, about 120+, which was great. I suppose given the way things are these days, parents are always looking for fun, safe, and cheap activities for their kids rather than the door-to-door tradition of trick-or-treating of Halloween.

At just $2 per an entry ticket, it was pretty accessible to pretty much every family at the church and the community... where else can you go that lets you play games, get candy & toys, and eat a dinner as a family? I'm glad the church subsidizes community-service oriented events like this.

I ended up spending a lot of time helping with the "catapult" booth, where kids got to fire bean bags at a stack of empty popcans via a homemade catapult powered by some pretty strong springs. I found it entertaining how much the kids got really into aiming and using the catapult... with just 4 chances per a play, most of the kids got the hang of it, even the kindergarteners. If ever there's an apocalyptic future devoid of firearms and the world has collapsed into competing feudal states, at least a large number of young Chinese American children in the Seattle area now have some experience in medieval seige warfare. ;)

.:.

Sleeping patterns in my life have gotten weird again, which I attribute to both the stress of wedding + church stuff + (trying to get back into) grad school + work, along with a combination of trying to limit my, ahem, consumption of "spirited beverages" as a customary nightcap. Besides the carnival, it was a packed weekend... I got the chance to visit my friend Dennis on Saturday afternoon, and honorary little sister dos, Cora, swung through also to pay a visit. Sunday was church service as usual, with an added important meeting about the future of the 3rd service (youth / contemporary service) at my church.

It was a good meeting, but on the way home from the meeting, I found myself seriously getting drowsy and almost got into an car accident less than a mile away from my house while driving home. When you've driven on certain roads for your whole life, there's a certain amount of "autopilot" that can kick in. It's not usually dangerous, but add some sleepiness to the equation and it can be disasterous. I also made another stupid mistake while running errands at the store and the gas station, but since nothing was hurt except my pride, I'll self-censor myself by leaving it at that... it a stupid mistake, and man, it was pretty embarassing. Doh.

As soon as I got home and sat on the couch, I basically crashed and fell asleep... there was nothing to hold back the heaviness of my eyelids. I woke up only twice afterwards, both times to answer phonecalls.

Ironically, all the sleep turned out to be good because my friend Cora's flight back to NY got delayed by a couple of hours, and instead of leaving at 12AM, the flight had been pushed back to 2AM. She had already been hanging out there since 8ish to see her BF off back to Cali, so I offered to pick her up to take her out to eat instead of hanging out around SeaTac. We ended up picking up ice-cream (low fat for my diet, HA) and chips which we snacked on while laughing ourselves silly while watching several episodes of MTV's "Yo Mamma" (hosted by Wilmer, AKA "Fez" from That 70s Show). It reminded of the good 'ol days of college life in the Maplewood apartments, just lounging and watching TV together.

I just got back about 15 minutes ago from dropping her back off at the airport and guess what? Yep, I'm going back to sleep. G'night.

seasons gone and passing

2006-10-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

seasons gone and passing

when autumn air carries grey memories adrift
on azure streams still flowing swift
and the coldness lays down, rises, and lays down again
I hold my breath, to not taste the fog.

when heaven moans, cries and grieves
with teardrops that fall upon rest'd leaves
and the quiet staccato echoes across the still air
I turn my ears, hoping to catch the hidden harmony

when twilight drapes its darkened veil
across fading light's scattered trail
and the world around me blurs under a distant stare
I close my eyes, to remember those times long since passed.

girls are cruel

2006-10-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

girls are cruel

...and in other news, the sky is blue and the grass is green. ;)

Got this link from a friend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMZrXAXitKI

Poor kid... I think pretty much every guy I know can sympathize.

IPN: 10.21.2006

2006-10-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

IPN: 10.21.2006

I meet regularly with a small group of guys about once week for a community group / Bible study. Though we're all young-ish, 20-something men, we come from a variety of churches and backgrounds (Chinese / Korean / Japanese / Filipino, etc.) , and we all have different interests and jobs (programmers / students / teacher / graphic artist / ROTC cadet / IRS G-man / youth pastor / filmographer, etc.). Still, despite all our differences, we all share a common faith, a committment to serving others, and even more importantly, a strong desire to see that others around us can experience God's love in tangible ways.

For myself and the other guys in our study, there's been a strong sense that for the past 5 years or so, many young Asian American people in our generation have become disconnected from our communities and our churches here in the Seattle area, especially those who have just finished college and become "career people".

For some people, maybe the reason is because they've had bad experiences in the churches they've attended, or they've become disappointed with God. For others, maybe their priorities has shifted to pursuing a job / career, or being consumed with a romantic relationship. Or maybe even for those who attend church, maybe they've become burned out from over-serving, or feel helpless as many Asian American churches in our area face the so-called "silent exodus".

.:.

After a lot of internal struggle and prayer, the time finely seemed right for our group to do something about it... thus, last night's IPN (Interchurch Praise Night).

We didn't know how many people would come. We wondered even if maybe we were crazy, and maybe we were the only people who sensed all these issues in our communities... but we were resolved to try anyways, even if nobody showed came, and the only people there to sing and play worship songs was us.

Initial estimates were for only about 50 people max.

The sanctuary pews ended up packed with over 120 people, and that's when we knew that God had already been at work. We wanted the other young people of our generation to know to not give up, to keep looking for ways to serve God, and show love to the same Asian American communities who raised and cared for us... so it seem ironic that the very encouragement we sought to give to others was received in turn by ourselves as well. Our faith that God continues to care and work in our communities was renewed again, and even despite dwindling numbers and years of neglect, the passion of the people is still there.

As for myself, I don't know what will happen now, but that's OK, because the praise night to me was more than just a bunch people getting together to sing and clap their hands... it was about remembering the source of our love and hope, and drawing strength from not only Christ Himself, but from the community of those around us. Bridges had been built where they weren't before, and old friendships have been renewed.

I suppose it's a just a small vision of things to come, both in this life and the next.

amicus certa in re incerta cernitur

2006-10-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

amicus certa in re incerta cernitur

There's plenty of things I'd love to change about the world around me and my life, but something I've always been grateful for are the friendships that I've been blessed with, especially those in this Seattle area that I've spent a large portion of my life.

Some people choose to measure the value of the friendships that they have in terms of raw numbers, as if the worth of friends can be assessed by a simple numbers of game of "I like have 1295015643 numbers on my cellphone, and like, I have soooo many friends! I rock!", but thankfully, I learned early on to that the only friendships worth having are the ones that are deep and with people of character.

Do you want to be "friends" with someone whom is selfish and disrespectful? Do you really want to invest in a relationship with someone who's only interested in exploiting others and would stab you in the back at the first convenient opportunity, IE spread gossip about you, sleep with your GF/BF, ditch you, etc?

Sometimes, it boggles my mind to see the kinds of "friends" that other people choose to have.

...

The past 6 months have reiterated in my brain the joy of friendships, everything from my friends freely volunteering to help with my wedding details, to helping me find a job and return to grad school, to even my best friend giving up a night every week out of his busy schedule to be my personal fitness trainer on a weekly basis so I can shed some pounds off my curvy backside (too much time at home and at work sitting down in front of a computer, oops)... even visits to my friend/ex-roomie who's fighting cancer have helped in that despite his sickness, seeing and hearing him still share about his incredible faith has been a challenge for me to grow spiritually as well.

Last night added another reminder for me to be grateful for the friends I had. It happened ironically after fellow guerilla media master homie Chong asked me to speak on a panel of UDub AACF grads for an AACF meeting, along themes of building community and friendships. After the fellowship group meeting, I was giving Chong and a couple of other guys a ride in my car out of the hill-esque Padelford packing lot when a horrible grinding sound alerted me to the fact that somehow, my driver-side front tire had been punctured and was rapidly going flat under the weight of a fully loaded car. Everyone got out of the car quickly, and helped me to get the car to some level ground where I could change the tire. My other friend, Ray, who happened to be driving his own car, also came over to help.

Now a flat tire isn't the end of the world, and I probably could have changed it myself, but consider this: it's 10:30pm, it's dark and cold, it's raining, AND there were other people who could have given everyone a ride home. They didn't have to stay, but they did, and it definitely everything very quick to fix (many hands make the work light, right?). The only little hiccup in the process of changing the tire was locating a critical part (screw attachment for the lugnut wrench to remove a security lugnut), but we managed to find the part without a lot of hassle either.

After attaching the spare, and stopping at nearby gas station to check pressure and fill up, Ray generously offered to follow me all the way back on the slooooow ride home, my old Acura doing about a crawling 40mph down the freeway, emergency lights blinking all the way. Ray's house is also on the southend of Seattle like mine, but again, he didn't have to follow me home... I probably could have managed.

I'm not dancing for joy that I got a flat tire... I did have to go and buy some new tires (I bought a pair), and I found out that even for an old Acura Legend, the tires ain't cheap. Still, praise God that I had a flat tire under the right circumstances - still close to the parking lot, plenty of good friends nearby, and pretty much zero damage to both the people in the car and the car itself.

...

I think I've reached the point in my life where I can reflect along of things I've learned about friendships, but the one thing I've also attributed to being fortunate in the friendships I have is God's generousity and God's character. Whether or not the bond of friendship thrives or not depends on a lot of different things, but I think it all boils down to the example set by Christ himself during his life: Do we show our respect and care for each other in tangible ways? Do we look out for the other person's best interest, and have the courage to stand up for them when they can't stand up for themselves? Is there a sense of loyalty and willingness to sacrifice for the other person, even at a great personal cost for ourselves?

While I've always striven to be a "good friend" to my friends, I don't consider my mere efforts in and of themselves to be the sole reason that keeps us together, nor am I tempted to think that just because I've spent a lot of time with someone, that we're good friends (though spending time helps). Instead, friends are kind of like the family that we choose, people whom God places in our lives for a reason.

Words that come to mind.

300 million strong and growing

2006-10-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

300 million strong and growing

There's been a lot of coverage in the news lately about the US hitting the "300 million" mark in its population soon... according to this clock kept by the US Census Bureau, it should hit 300 million sometime around 7 tomorrow morning. I was listening to NPR during my commute to work today and they had some good coverage about it. What struck me as interesting were certain demographic quirks of the "new America" such as:

The US is the 3rd largest country in the world, after India and China
The US has the leading population growth among industrialized countries, unlike Europe and Japan, whose growth rate is small or even nonexistant
Single person households now account for almost 27% of the population
Most new Americans are immigrants (almost 40% of growth) and belong to a non-white ethnic group, most likely Hispanic or Asian

...

The last 100 million milestone, 200 million, was reached back in 1967. Did you know that a Chinese American was declared the "200 millionth American"? Yep, it's this guy, Bobby Woo, who was born in Atlanta.

...

One last thought:

If current trends continue, the US will reach 400 million people in the year 2043. By then, non-Hispanic whites will compose only around 50% of the population, Hispanic Americans will double to 24% of the population, African Americans will be 14% of the population, and Asian Americans will compose about 8% of the population (I wonder if the remaining percentage is compose of Native Americans and Arab Americans?).

I'm already looking forward to 2043.

friends, food, & DS lites

2006-10-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

friends, food, & DS lites

It was a busy weekend, but it's pretty hard to argue with the amount of fun that can be had when one manages to combine hanging out with friends, cooking a big spread of tasty food, playing Tetris via DS lite, and... t-shirts? Good times.

It's going to be sad to see another friend heading off to Japanland for work and adventure, but at the same time, I know God has something special in store for him there.

More photos are on my Flickr.

salty air, sand, sunshine, and clouds

2006-10-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

salty air, sand, sunshine, and clouds

It would have been the perfect day to do nothing today... too bad doing nothing takes up too much time, eh? =P

the price of popularity?

2006-10-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

the price of popularity?

Apparently, it's about in the range of 8-15 bucks a month.

Thanks to people googling / linking this blog for a number of reasons, including current stuff such as Infernal Affairs vs The Departed; music via my podcasts, and a link on a popular Japanese BBS because of an obscure article I wrote on teaching in Japan & a Russian military school, you all have done the unbelievable:

You've actually caused my ISP to shutdown my hosting because the amount of traffic has exceeded my monthly allowance by more than 100% (I'm allocated 1GB in traffic a month, and with about 17 days left in the month, I've already exceed about 2.5GB).

Lucky for me, I can use Flickr to host my pics t for now. I <3 Flickr.

....

When I first started this blog back in 2001, it had the mere intentions of being one part daily journal, and one part "get to know me" thing for the leadership team at UW AACF I was a part of. Since then, it's evolved to include some personal & creative writing, some media reviews, and my thoughts about current events, especially those concerning Asia / Asian America / Asian Americans.

Now this site averages about 80-100 visits a day, some from around the world...

I try to not let that fact weird me out too much, 'cause the thought of 80 different folks in the world actually following my daily life seems laughably bizarre, considering how nonchalant and anti-social I tend to be in "real life".

...

While I loathe to actually address the topic of "this blog", it's occurred to me that perhaps this blog needs an FAQ (which I've never written until now). So a list of Frequently Asked Questions I always get about this blog via e-mail / IM, etc:

Why the name "en'script'chun"? Is your computer broken and missing spellcheck?
Good question. While I'm horrible at spelling, the misspelling of "inscription" as "enscriptchun" is intentional. "Inscription" is a reference to my love of writing, and my ambition to write something that lasts and makes its mark on the world - hence an "inscription". It's also a religious reference to this verse, especially the line "I will write it on their hearts". The choice of "chun" is a reference to the proper pronounciation of my last name in Chinese.
Why is the font size so small? Make it bigger!
The font size is tiny to match the pathetic size of my bank account. I can't afford to make the text larger until you mail a check with at least 5-6 digits to me.
Why don't you like to talk about what you wrote on your blog in real life? Why aren't you thrilled when I walk up to you and start talking about your posts, especially that really deep and personal one you wrote like 2 days ago?
Maybe you should think about why I don't walk up to you in real life and start talking to you about things that are really deep and personal.
Why do you always write about yourself?! Geez, why is your blog all about your thoughts and your feelings? You should write about my thoughts, and my feelings!
I know, it's silly of me. I'll write exactly what you're thinking in my next post.
Is the post your wrote on XYZ about me? Why did you write about me / why don't you write about me?
Of course it's not about you. If you didn't like what I wrote and you find it's insulting, it's definitely not about you at all! =)
Why are you so angry and cynical on your blog? You should be nicer!
To quote James & heh: this blog is my mental diarrhea. Interpret that as you will.
This blog needs some more color! Why the color grey?! Grey sucks! GREY IS TEH GAY!
I began this blog during a "grey time" in my life, and probably the most meaningful things I've ever written usually are in those "grey times". It stays grey until God tells me to make it a different color.
WHY DID YOU DELETE MY COMMENT! YOU NAZI!
I don't usually delete comments, but if I did, it's probably because you're: A) rude; B) spamming; C) had nothing worth reading; or D) all of the above.
What are the small pictures on the right panel? Why do they keep changing?
The small BW pictures change according to my various moods, but they usually represent my past, the very recent present, or something marinating in my brain. Currently featured photos (L2R, T2B):
-a beach on the Oregon coast taken during a trip with friends back in '01 flying a kite;
-my father's gravestone;
-my best friend & I around age 6 or 7 playing with Transformers;
-me flying another kite on a beach in '03 during a spiritual / leadership retreat;
-my right hand wearing a ring with my family name holding a flask;
-my family during a visit to Cali in '04 just after I returned from Japan;
-a fortune cookie fortune I got this year;
-a picture of the autumn leaves by my church I took 2 weeks ago.
Do you really visit and read all the links on the right panel?
If I have the time, but usually only the blogs lists under "frequently read" and the "news" get visited by me on a daily basis.

the b-b-b-bomb & north korea

2006-10-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

the b-b-b-bomb & north korea

The news has been filled the past few days with speculation about North Korea's supposed nuclear weapons test and its capability to manufacture more nuclear bombs (wanna know how they work?). While international consensus has been predictably negative, North Korea has remained defiant and is promising more tests.

NPR has been featuring a number of interviews with experts about the situation right here. A lot of them have some interesting things to say, but probably the most intriguing theory I've heard is that North Korea is afraid of China and Chinese influence in North Korea... so nuclear weapons tests are its way of trying to get the US to negotiate with it 1-on-1 to balance out China. Hrmm.

...

huh?

In other bizarre news, a small plane crashed into a Manhattan building today, killing Yankees pitcher Cory Liddle and his flight instructor. While NY and government officials have insisted that the crash was an accident and that no terrorism was involved, I know the first thought in my mind was when I heard about a plane crashing in NY was "Aiyah... here we go again."

With everything that's been happening lately in the past few months (local, national, & international) I sometimes wonder if I'm living in the Twilight Zone. Reality and the people of this world just keep egging me on to be more cynical.

It's hard to resist.

the departed

2006-10-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

the departed

So I went out with the girl today and I saw "The Departed", the Martin Scorcese remake of one favorite Asian films in recent years, Infernal Affairs. I remember being quite happy to buy myself a copy of it when I was in Hong Kong back in '04.

Being a big fan of Scorcese (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Casino... freak'n classics! It's a crime he hasn't won an Oscar), I found myself being both simultaneously interested to see how he would interpret Infernal Affairs, and at the same time, dreading the possibility that the Hollywood machine might have somehow totally screwed up the project. Thankfully, it's a great flick which borrows heavily from the original movie in terms of characters, major plot events, and even mood - the tension from Infernal Affairs Hong Kong streets with its cops & triads has been pretty successfully transferred to the working class Irish neighborhoods of South Boston, with its own cops and mobsters.

...

In terms of casting, while Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio give fairly competent performances as the leads, they still can't even begin to compare to the mastery showed by Tony Leung and Andy Lau in Infernal Affairs, whose performances in the original were much more nuanced and multi-dimensional. Leung and Lau managed to juggle all the strange faucets of their characters, mixing a perfect balance of confidence & fear, with cool-ness & vulnerability. In contrast, Damon's gangster-mole-turned-cop, Colin Sullivan, tends to come off sometimes as too whiney and rat-boyish, while DiCaprio's police-informant-turned-gangster, William Costigan, sometimes sulks too much and throws tantrums that make you wish that he really was on the Titanic when it sunk.

The real scene stealer in The Departed is Nicholson's portrayal of Irish mob boss Frank Costello (some other reviewers have noted the same). Nicholson's character is cunning, paranoid, and most of all, psychotically vicious in a way that is Goodfellas/Casino-type, Pesci-esque.

An additional highlight is that the two female love interests in Infernal Affairs (arguably the weakest and least developed characters) have been combined into a single, major female character in The Departed - Vera Farmiga gives an interested performance as a state employed shrink who sees Costigan as a patient while dating Sullivan when she's off work. Love triangles are an expected film cliche, but Farmiga does a great job of portraying a woman whom the audience can believe genuinely cares for both Sullivan AND Costigan.

...

Though I enjoyed The Departed, my one single beef with the movie is an oddly placed scene in the middle of the film, where Costello's gang makes a deal to sell military technology microprocessors to agents from the Chinese government backed by Chinese gangsters. Maybe the screenplay writer or whoever conceptualized this scene might have thought they were paying homage to Infernal Affairs, but the entire scene was filled with caricatures of Asian characters and Nicholson's Costello hurling racist insults such as "Tell those chinks, 'No tiki, no laundry'" and "Bringing automatic weapons doesn't add inches to your d*ck size".

A short list of issues I have with the scene:

Plausibility. Costello's gang's turf is South Boston, and deals primarily in exhortion, illegal gambling, and drugs... now all of a sudden, they've found a way to steal high-tech, military grade, computer equipment?! Doesn't add up.
Atmosphere. In the original Infernal Affairs, the "big deal" that went down was a drug deal between the triads and gangsters from Thailand. Both sides seemed to have a cordial relationship, which didn't affect at all the tension of the scene (which focused on the two moles racing to try and tip off each man's respective side). In The Departed, the scene feels flat, despite Nicholson's Costello's swagger and hostility. The opposing gangboss also rants and screams (in choppy Cantonese), but his character comes off as annoying rather than threatening.
Language. The Chinese spoken in this scene is Cantonese, and somehow, "the secret Chinese government agent" is completely incapable of speaking English. Besides the fact that Mandarin would seem to more logically be the correct dialect spoken by the agent, I find it wholly unbelievable that a Chinese government agent who can't speak English would be sent to infiltrate the US to illegally buy military technology.

Costello has what appears to be a tough guy, Chinese American interpreter for this scene, but I have to wonder why the idiot doesn't slap Costello everytime Costello has the gall to spit out the word "chink" the way he does (I can already hear the blog voice of ms. maloy chiming in about the pathetic-ness of Chinese Americans... doh!)
Red Scare, '06. Everyone's afraid of big, evil, China... oh no! The scene seems slapped into the movie to make some sort of statement about the PRC, but really, it goes back to the issue of plausibility - I honestly don't think the Chinese government is dumb enough to shop for military tech in a poor South Boston neighborhood, buying it from a gang that is neither very large or extremely powerful.

The whole scene is probably the worst in the movie, and I'm not the only one who thinks so... AngryAsianMan also mentions these various problems. It doesn't break the film, but it's definitely a flaw that mars an otherwise really enjoyable film.

So in conclusion: Go watch Infernal Affairs first, and then go see The Departed. You'll appreciate both movies all the more.

.:.

end note

Supposedly Scorcese wants to make a film based on the plot of the novel Silence by Shusaku Endo (an excellent book that I just read for the first time last year ). In the story of the book, a Jesuit priest travels to feudal Japan, and there, his faith is tested in ways that he never thought possible by a government that has completely outlawed foreign religions.

It'll be interesting to see how Scorcese handles that project... hopefully it won't turn out like the last overtly religious movie he made.

psalm for a friend, psalm for friends.

2006-10-07T01:22:00.000-07:00

psalm for a friend, psalm for friends

Went to Ryan's this past evening to meet with several other people to talk, pray for, and think of tangible ways we can support our mutual friend who's been fighting cancer.

While meeting with a group of people to pray on a Friday night might not sound like a fun thing to do, I'm glad I went. I really can't think of anything better than prayer to deal with the circumstances as they are now... to come together as a group of spiritual brothers and sisters, unashamed in laying all of our sadness, grief, pain, confusion, and yes, even our anger and disappointment, before God over the thought that our friend may be taken from us. All of us are still dealing with things in different ways, but there definitely was a sense of comfort given by the act of praying together as a group.

Afterwards, I came home, and couldn't sleep, so I ended up just reading... my eyes ended up reading this:

In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.

Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.

*

But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."

My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.

Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.

Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;

*

Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

-Psalm chapter 31, verses 1-10, 14-16, 23-24

howling at the moon

2006-10-05T23:56:00.000-07:00

howling at the moon

It's no secret that I'm somewhat of an insomniac.

I'm not exactly sure when I acquired the ~~tendency~~ curse to stay up late, but sometime between college life, post-college life, unemployment, Japan, grad school, teaching, stopping teaching, and back to work... well, it just sort of happens. Usually when I'm up late, I'm surfing the internet, reading, or watching movies, but lately I've taken up some new activities.

...

For the past couple of weeks, I've been staying up late wandering vast plains and exploring mysterious forests, searching for clues, and helping lost souls. I stalk evil spirits and demons, smiting them with my furious vengeance... all so I can cleanse the land and bring back "da good-ness". yo.

Oh, and I help trees to grow, flowers to bloom, I feed wildlife, and I hug small furry animals.

...

Yep, I've become hopelessly addicted to playing Okami.

I enjoy playing video games and my knowledge of them approaches level of geek-ness not healthy for a soon-to-be-married man, but I wow... I can genuinely say that Okami is definitely one of the best games I've played. Period. The child-like wonder and joy I experience from playing this masterpiece harkens me back to my childhood days when I first played classics like Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past, ChronoTrigger, or even the original ORIGINAL classics like Legend of Zelda or Final Fantasy.

With an original storyline that borrows heavily from traditional Japanese folktales, innovative gameplay (painting is a game play mechanic!), great music / sound effects, and of course, beautiful artwork, stylized to resemble sumi-e. I salute the creative daring of Okami's creators.

It's nice to have a distraction during these strange and busy days...

LOST Season 3 premiere

2006-10-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

LOST Season 3 premiere

Well, the new episode is tonight. I think I'll try to "live blog" it:

(WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS)

9:06
OK... some funny book club in suburbia. Hmm, earthquake... wait... the plane?! The Others got their own suburb? WTH?!

9:10
Jack flashback... and he wakes up in some funky dark dungeon. Kate wakes up in a locker room with guy-with-the-fake-beard. And Sawyer wakes up in... the zoo?! Damn, souther boy got jacked on the lodgings.

Everybody seems to have had their blood taken...

9:18
More flashbacks to Jack losing wifey. Now back to Jack and some blond Others chick. Jack's ignoring her, but hey, wouldn't you do too?

Kate's clothes got jacked and they left her a dress... so she could have lunch on the beach? And now a lecture from the boss guy? Freaky Others...

"the next two weeks are gonna be very unpleasant"?!

Ominous. I predict lots of "testing" and "probes". Maybe Jack, Sawyer, and Kate all have latent powers/ special abilities too?

9:32
Another Jack flashback. Mind games with blonde Others chick.

I guess the Others like grilled cheese.

Sawyer busts out thanks to crazy kid!

9:33
Hrmm, Sawyer didn't get so far.

9:46
More crazy Jack flashbacks. Don't open the door!

I bet there's water behind the door... yep.

So he's in an underwater dungeon? Interesting.

9:55
It doesn't matter who we were... it only matters who we are.

The Others got the 411 on Jack.... duh-dum! Maybe they have Internet access to a PI.

Looks like the Others are even better at being stalkers.

9:57
Cliffhanger... of course. Looks like next week is a rescue by Sayid, Jin, and Sun! wh00t.

elementary lyrical genius

2006-10-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

elementary lyrical genius

So yesterday was my 2nd time back volunteering at a new school and working with the young 'uns since last year. I still don't feel very "teacher like", but I enjoy doing little things to help out, like helping small groups of kids with their WASL math work prep or their language arts assignments.

I was helping this one kid with his math assignment and I had the following conversation:

Gar: How are you doing? What problem are you working on?
student: This stuff is really hard... I wish I had something to help me.
Gar: Like what? A calculator?
student: No, I wish I had some music to help me work.
Gar: Ah, I see. I like to listen to music too when I work.

(silence for a few seconds)

student: yoyoyo yoyoyo yoyoyo yoyoyo wassup yoyoyo yoyoyoyo
Gar: ?!? haha...
student: yoyoyoyoyoy wassup yoyoy yoyoy wassup yoyoyoyo
Gar: what are you doing?!
student: I'm rapping. I like rap music.
Gar: nice.

Funny stuff.

...

On a hip-hop related note, when I was introducing myself for the first time to the kids, I mentioned that one of my favorite groups are the Blue Scholars. At the mention of the name, several of the kids' eyes lighted up and they shouted, "I know who that is! They're from Seattle!"

Ah, warms the heart to know that elementary school kids have some knowledge of good music these days...

autumn

2006-10-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

autumn

The weather's been turning a lot colder lately, and with the skies becoming a little more gray, it appears that autumn is finally here.

As much I appreciate a little bit of sunshine, I think my many years of life here in Seattle has made me prefer colder weather - not the sort of bone-chilling, freeze your blood kind of cold, but I like the less severe, cool and crisp feeling of a cool autumn afternoon.

This time of year is the perfect time for a nice, hot bowl of pho, wonton-mein, or udon.

.:.

politics = poly ticks = ?

...many, blood-sucking insects.

In latest news, the the dubious distinction of "do nothing congress" has been earned by our current 109th Congress, according to non-partisan scholars. Instead of addressing critical domestic issues like the income gap, social security, health care, and education, the article instead cites the following as "accomplishments":

A surge in pork-barrel projects for lawmakers' constituents back home.
Deference to a same-party president that shifted unchecked power to the executive branch and extended government's reach into people's private lives.
New rules that permit the government to hold suspected terrorists indefinitely without charges, to use harsh interrogation measures on them if the president approves and to convict them using evidence that would be inadmissible in any other court.(bye-bye habeas corpus and other rights if you're accused of being a "terrorist")

Great news, huh? (/sarcasm)

In other politics related news, a new book by Washington editor and staff writer Bob Woodward called State of Denial paints a dark picture of the current regime in the White House and its attitude toward the current situation in Iraq and the Middle East. Of interest to me especially, is Woodward's account of this episode, a meeting between Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Jay Garner, a retired Army lieutenant general...

On June 18, 2003, Jay Garner went to see Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld to report on his brief tenure in Iraq as head of the postwar planning office. Throughout the invasion and the early days of the war, Garner, a retired Army lieutenant general, had struggled just to get his team into Iraq. Two days after he arrived, Rumsfeld called to tell him that L. Paul "Jerry" Bremer, a 61-year-old terrorism expert and protege of Henry A. Kissinger, would be coming over as the presidential envoy, effectively replacing Garner.

"We've made three tragic decisions," Garner told Rumsfeld.

"Really?" Rumsfeld asked.

"Three terrible mistakes," Garner said.

He cited the first two orders Bremer signed when he arrived, the first one banning as many as 50,000 members of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party from government jobs and the second disbanding the Iraqi military. Now there were hundreds of thousands of disorganized, unemployed, armed Iraqis running around.

Third, Garner said, Bremer had summarily dismissed an interim Iraqi leadership group that had been eager to help the United States administer the country in the short term. "Jerry Bremer can't be the face of the government to the Iraqi people. You've got to have an Iraqi face for the Iraqi people."

Garner made his final point: "There's still time to rectify this. There's still time to turn it around."

Rumsfeld looked at Garner for a moment with his take-no-prisoners gaze. "Well," he said, "I don't think there is anything we can do, because we are where we are."

He thinks I've lost it, Garner thought. He thinks I'm absolutely wrong. Garner didn't want it to sound like sour grapes, but facts were facts. "They're all reversible," Garner said again.

"We're not going to go back," Rumsfeld said emphatically.

Later that day, Garner went with Rumsfeld to the White House. But in a meeting with Bush, he made no mention of mistakes. Instead he regaled the president with stories from his time in Baghdad.

In an interview last December, I asked Garner if he had any regrets in not telling the president about his misgivings.

"You know, I don't know if I had that moment to live over again, I don't know if I'd do that or not. But if I had done that -- and quite frankly, I mean, I wouldn't have had a problem doing that -- but in my thinking, the door's closed. I mean, there's nothing I can do to open this door again. And I think if I had said that to the president in front of Cheney and Condoleezza Rice and Rumsfeld in there, the president would have looked at them and they would have rolled their eyes back and he would have thought, 'Boy, I wonder why we didn't get rid of this guy sooner?' "

"They didn't see it coming," Garner added. "As the troops said, they drank the Kool-Aid."

Let's hope that after the November elections, a lot of things start turning around...

warm beach '06 post rally

2006-09-30T23:55:00.000-07:00

warm beach '06 post rally

Tonight was the post rally for this past year's Warm Beach camp... it was good catching up with all the kids and the counselors / leaders to see how everyone was doing. As someone who's been on both sides of these kinds of events (both as an attendee and as a staff member), it's definitely much more hectic being one of the organizers in charge of it! Thank the Lord it all came together, despite a couple of minor glitches and last minute craziness... yet more reminders of how completely dependent effective ministry must be on the grace on God and the willing sacrifices of the people involved.

It's always such an inspiration to see people work so tirelessly to help others, and to see how God really has worked in people's lives, especially the kids. Ah, to be young again...

I'm already looking forward to next year!

podcast, episode 10

2006-09-28T13:16:00.000-07:00

podcast, episode 10

Natsu no owari?

September... it's the new August! The weather has been nice lately, but life has been busy of late and making me a bit more tired than usual. Still, I find making these podcasts to be relaxing and despite an unanticipated gap in my podcast production, but I've finally finished editing / mixing the second part to two part summer podcast series (part 1 is here).

You can download it directly from this link right here. (right click & save as)

The podcast is about ~34 minutes long, and is 31mb, 128kb mono MP3.

Playlist of songs in the cast (most lyric links from Cori's great site):

1. Bennie K - SUNRISE (lyrics)
2. Vo Vo Tau - Beautiful Days
3. RIP SLYME - Minute Maid (lyrics)
4. Sowelu - Can't Take My Eyes Off You (lyrics)
5. m-flo loves Crystal Kay - REEEWIND! (lyrics)
6. m-flo loves Ryohei & Emi Hinouchi - Summer Time Love (lyrics)

CORRECTION TO PODCAST: I just noticed that during the podcast, I said that Crystal Kay grew up in Okinawa... that's wrong. Actually, Crystal Kay grew up in Kanagawa; another famous singer, Namie Amuro grew up in Okinawa.

As a sidenote, I mentioned that Crystal Kay is of Zainichi Korean descent... I forgot to mention that m-flo's emcee, Verbal, is also of Zainichi Korean descent.

Background music :

FORCE OF NATURE - Tsurugi no Mai

If you're interested in more, check out the IIStix podcasting project. Links to previous GarPodcasts....

-Podcast 09 - Summer Music: Hip-Hop
-Podcast 08 - Love Songs
-Podcast 07 - "Mystery" Theme + Hip-Hop
-Podcast 06 - Reggae / Dancehall Songs
-Podcast 05 - Cover Songs
-Podcast 04 - Hip-Hop Music Sampled from Movies
-Podcast 03 - Music Heard in Movies / TV / Anime / Video Games
-Podcast 02 - Miscellaneous
-Podcast 01 - Songs from Seattle Area Bands

Happy listening!

2006-09-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

the road we choose, the roads chosen

"the road I chose is a lonely one
nowadays no one got the guts to go for their dreams
am I only one?
the industry ain't gonna change in my mental
they gave William Hung a deal
but passed on my demo?

f*ck that

sh*t is ridiculous
make no mistake about it
I was on some underground sh*t blowin' up about it
holding my head in my hands
sippin' salty tears
spittin' city to city, thinkin' no one cares
and through it all
in the pain there's purpose
to see in the end what you gain ain't worthless..."

-quoted from "Lonely Road" by Chan

.:.

Tomorrow is my first big step toward redemption and picking up the pieces of my "career" after the darkness of May. I know I should be optimistic about a fresh start, but at the same time, part of me can't help but worry.

Life lesson #1263337 learned:
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you've worked in the past or how sincere your intentions are... 'cause even if you do everything right, all it takes is one bad mistake to screw you over. Badly.

Therefore...

Life lesson #1263337+1:
Minimize mistakes. Preferably, make none, especially when there's people around you that you shouldn't trust.

2006-09-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

weekend of friends in support of a friend

Even in times such as these, it's a healthy reminder that God has provided each of us with each other, to pray and shoulder each other's burdens.

2006-09-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

holy holidays

Another something interesting about this year... Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Ramadan, the Muslim Holy month, will be converging. Both holidays are a time for a spiritual reflection in their respective faiths.

.:.

On a Chinese astrology note, 2006 is the year of the red Fire Dog - animals cycle every 12 years, with elements cycling every 5. My father would have been 60 years old this year if he had lived. Strangely enough, according to some astrologers, Earth Horses like me are supposed to have an interesting year.

2006-09-21T00:51:00.000-07:00

engagement photos

Despite all the rather somber things going on around me recently, life goes on and my own journey toward the altar continues steadily. This past Tuesday, my fiancee and I had the privilege of getting our engagement photos taken by friend / rockstar Mr. Hun Kim of the most excellent GH Kim Photography. We had the photos taken in west Seattle at Alki in the late afternoon, so I left work a little early to get there on time.

Wedding planning definitely involves a lot of stress and hard work, but I had a lot of fun during the photo session (maybe too much fun... a couple of my friends still blames me for messing up a large amount of their wedding pictures with my inability to smile "seriously", haha). Being friends with the photographer definitely makes for a more relaxing photo session, and I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of "keep the money in the family" - if I'm spending money on something, I'd much rather the money go to either people I know / businesses I respect / to the local community.

Enough jabbering... Hun's photos of my un-photogenic self and beautiful fiancee:

Notice that my fiancee made me shave my face? Yeah, she doesn't dig my scruffy facial hair... haha. O_o

I have more engagement photos on my Flickr account, but you gotta be registered on site as one of my friends or family in order to see them... it's free to sign up to Flickr, so just send me a request if you join. I don't want just any random joeschmoe in weirdo Internet-land stalking my fiancee! There's way too many crazies and hom sup low freaks these days, and plenty are out to harass Asian women.

Or...

If you're too lazy to register for Flickr and you're smart, just visit Hun's Xanga to see more photos. It isn't hard to find, and as an added bonus, you can peep more of his company's award-winning photography... great stuff!

2006-09-19T23:57:00.000-07:00

keeping busy to keep from going crazy

Sometimes when you have a lot on your mind, meditating on it and letting it marinate in your brain juices requires a rote task like organizing something... which in my case, would be my MP3 collection.

While enjoying / fiddling with the latest release of Apple's iTunes, my latest "hobby" (read: way to occupy idle time) is to surf the internet and find album art covers for all the music that I have in my iTunes library. Yes, I know that I could conceivably take the trouble to actually go myself and scan by hand all the covers of the album art of albums I own, but I find it's considerably faster to actually run a search via various methods and find that the cover's already there.

The above collage of album art covers represents a small sampling of artists currently occupying some of the various iTunes playlists I have at the moment. While the bottom right hand picture is obviously fake (it'll probably be used for a future podcast), music aficionados will probably notice that there are several music covers that are fake and made by yours truly (though all the artists are real...).

Can you tell which ones are real and which are fake?

(HINT: It helps if you know who the artists are and their various discographies)

Photoshop is fun.

2006-09-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

life in one lane

As I was driving north on I-405 this past afternoon, and I couldn't help but noticing the commute was even more terrible than it usually was. I had only gotten onto the freeway for less than 5 minutes when I hit a motionless amount of gridlock. I spent the next over half-hour stuck on the road, trying to bite my tongue from screaming a variable load of road-rage induced obscenities.

When I finally made my way further down the road, I was able to see the cause - a multi-lane accident. I exited the freeway early to avoid the bottleneck, but as I drove up the offramp, I could glimpse the scene... one carwreck smashed against the side of the far left railing, and another car completely flipped over (a sports coup) blackened with the evidence that a fire had been previously burning, and both its passenger and driver-side doors flung open, as if someone (or someone's body) had to be pryed from the wreckage.

The whole scene was ringed by flares, orange cones, and a couple of squads of firefighters and cops milled around the scene, trying to clean up and direct traffic.

After I got to work, I was able to get a picture of the scene via a traffic watch camera on the WSDOT site:

That's probably when I wondered what happened to the people in those cars.

.:.

These days, "Life is fragile" and "Life is short" are the kinds of cliches that normally punctuate the end of Lifetime channel or Hallmark movies, but lately, they've been realities that have been hanging around the back of my brain. The themes that have echoed in my own experiences that seem to once again to cruelly reappear to be re-lived.

An ex-roommate of mine, Bible study leader, fellow CBCer, but most of all, a friend, has been fighting a terminal illness for awhile now, since it struck out of nowhere last year. Everyone who knows him loves him a lot, and has been praying for his recovery, but in the past months and few weeks, his condition has worsened to the point that now, the effectiveness of the treatments hasn't been helping.

I've resolved myself to continue praying for my friend, however it still pains me to consider the full range of possibilities that could happen, including the outcome that his doctors say is inevitable no matter treatment. Though I'm not discounting that a miracle may still happen, a part of me is already too well-accustomed to accepting that death is a very real thing, and that "it" happens all the time - to the old, to the young, to the righteous, to the guilty, to the wealthy, to the poor - yet its morbid equality is neither a comfort or satisfying answer.

A person my age still expects to grow old with their friends; to see them all get married, have children; to someday hang out together in the backyard grilling steaks and drinking beer while swapping stories of the "old days"... is it so strange to dislike the thought that it may not happen? Is it so strange to feel heartache at the thought that some, (or even many...) of the friends we have now will leave this world before us, to never be seen again until we pass the pearly gates and stand in heaven?

It's like being stuck in a single lane; there's no way to avoid certain things... inevitably we must be confronted with the shortness of our lives, and all the cliches we attach to it. It must be embraced.

No matter what happens, I don't want my eyes to be closed it. God give me the strength to be faithful and not be numb to it.

2006-09-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

setting the past right

EDIT: Original non-sensical ramblings by yours truly is now replaced by the following e-mail forward, which I read on homie-in-Korea Jeesuk's Xanga:

200,000 Raped and Slaughtered, Still No Responsibility Taken

The brutal colonization of the Korean peninsula by Imperial Japan is common knowledge to many of us, but lesser known is the plight of the "comfort women" caught up in Japan's aggressive military expansion in the first half of the 20th century. Over 200,000 girls and young women, predominately from Korea but also from the Philippines, Taiwan, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore and the Dutch East Indies, were forced into bonded sexual slavery. Many of the girls were tricked into thinking they were signing up to work in a factory or as a house servant, and others were kidnapped. According to testimony, a "comfort woman" could expect to be raped up to forty times a day, often resulting in serious physical injury, as well as numerous STDs. Women were divided into categories depending on "freshness"; virgins, the top category, were given to officers for first rape, and as time passed women were downgraded gradually in category, until they were ultimately abandoned, oftentimes far away from their homes. Many women reported having their uterus rot from diseases and many others became barren and unable to give birth.

I have met many of these old women personally. They look, talk and have all the mannerisms of my grandparents- but their childhood and teenage years were wrought with some of the most horrible suffering known in this past century, without exaggeration. After the war ended, many of these women managed to make it back to their families, and sometimes, to their husbands. Some were abandoned, seen as causing "dishonor" to their families. Others were never able to bring up the terrible things that they went through, for fear of being left to live and die alone. Some of these women now reside in the "House of Sharing", a private home for these women in Korea

[see http://www.nanum.org/eng/ for more information ].

These elderly women have held protests at Japanese embassies worldwide with a persistent and perseverance that puts those of us younger folks to shame. For decades their claims and cries were ignored by governments- including that of the Republic of Korea for a time, and many activists and organizations have toiled for years to bring this issue to the forefront.

Now, we may be able to change all of that, and give these women the respect and recognition they deserve.

Yesterday, here in Washington, D.C., the House Committee on International Relations marked up House Resolution 759, which expresses the sense of the House of Representatives of the United States that the Government of Japan should formally acknowledge and accept responsibility for its sexual enslavement of "comfort women" during its occupation of Asia in the first half of the 20th century. The majority of the 200,000 victims were Korean girls and women, many of them in their teens.

The resolution is sponsored by Representative Lane Evans (D-IL), and co-sponsored with over 50 other members. Previous similar efforts were blocked successfully by powerful lobbyists for the Japanese government and those who believe that such a resolution would damage relations with Tokyo.

The new bill is reworked and slightly revised to gain wider support- for example, it does not mention any compensation for victims, and calls for Tokyo to "take responsibility"- rather than apologize. As a result this resolution has an unprecedented wide array of support from both parties.

Now that the bill is marked up, we must move to get the resolution to the House Floor so that the entire Congress can vote.

This bill MUST be passed before Congress leaves session in October. Time is running out. On a more grave angle- the few remaining comfort women in this world are in their 70s, 80s and 90s. Thousands of them have perished without any formal recognition of their plight- and have had to live with being slandered as prostitutes and willing partners in the vicious exploitation they fell victim to.

Simply put, they are dying. It is now or never.

Here is how you can help:
1) Forward this email to all of your friends and family, as well as to any listservs you're aware of. Post it on blogs and web boards. Get the word out!
2) Call, email, write and fax [ all of the above! ] your local representative, and ask them to vote yes on this bill, and to urge House leadership to bring the resolution to vote on the House Floor. If you don't know who your representative is, go to http://www.house.gov/.
3) Contact the offices of both Majority Leader John Boehner and Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert and ask them to make sure this resolution is brought to the House Floor for a full vote WITHOUT DELAY.

Majority Leader John Boehner
H-107 Capitol
Washington, DC 20515-6502
202-225-4000, fax 202-225-5117

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert
H-232 Capitol
Washington, DC 20515-6501
202-225-0600 or fax 202-226-1996

Please take just a moment of your day to do something great by doing something little for these women. If you would like more information, you can reach me at hong.adrian@gmail.com.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thank you.

2006-09-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

who is the enemy?

From a recent Sojourners newsletter.

Who is the enemy?
by Omar Al-Rikabi

I have been on the road a lot in the last three months, taking different road-trips to New Orleans, New York City, Nashville, and Dallas. Constantly in the shadow of the endless line of 18-wheelers, I noticed that one particular trucking company had this sign posted on most of their trucks:

Support our troops whenever we go!
No aid or comfort to the enemy!
No way!

So who is the enemy?

Last summer my older cousin Ali was able to come in from Ohio to be at our wedding. I think it was really good for my dad to have someone from back home who was able to be there, and he filled in as my grandmother's escort, sitting with her on the front row.

Ali was forced to serve in the Iraqi Army in the first Gulf War. Other cousins were also conscripted, stationed on the front lines and in Kuwait City. Some of them were rounded up in the mass-surrenders after the ground war began, and they all made it home. But Ali had a different story. He was a field surgeon on the front lines with the Republican Guard. Sadaam thought that if he placed the medical units close enough to the rest of the soldiers then the Americans wouldn't bomb and shell them. He was wrong.

Somehow the Iraqis knew when the American ground troops would be coming over the dunes, and so they were given a five-day pass to go home to Baghdad and say their goodbyes. Ali knew it would be a meat-grinder, and he knew that under Sadaam desertion meant death and trouble for your family. So while he was in Baghdad he had another surgeon friend take out his perfectly good appendix. While he was in the hospital, his entire unit was annihilated.

Around that same time a Marine friend of mine named Nelson had been part of an artillery outfit that was shelling Iraqi positions inside Kuwait. Suddenly an Iraqi artillery shell slammed into the hood of the truck Nelson was standing next to, but it was a dud and didn't go off. He lived to come home and tell me that story.

Also at our wedding, only four rows back from Ali, was my friend Joe, who is an Army Ranger veteran. On the other side of the isle from Ali was one of my two mothers-in-law, whose stepbrother was part of the Army forces that moved through the same area of Kuwait where Ali had been. On another pew was my friend Johanna, whose husband has served in Afghanistan and is now training for Special Forces duty in the Middle East.

I could go on, but you get the idea. The best phrase came from a taxi driver in Cairo, right after the invasion of Iraq three years ago, who upon finding out that my brother was half Iraqi and half American said, "Ahhh ... is funny. Your country is attacking your country."

I have often become frustrated when I have heard people in my church make statements like, "Remember who we're fighting here," before they lead prayers for our military victory. A professor here at Asbury once said that the only two choices we have is to either "convert them or keep them from hurting us."

Well ... first of all you can't fight and win a "war on terror." Terrorism is a method, not a country or ideology. I once heard it said that fighting a war on terror is like having the flu and declaring a war on sneezing: you're only attacking the symptoms. As long as there have been people, there has been terrorism.

But what frightens me is the mindset in this country, and in the church, that seems to think terrorism was born and raised in the Middle East, and if we can take out the Muslim Arabs then the world will be a safer place. Put this idea up against the idea in large segments of the Arab world that America has, in a sense, created terror herself with her policies toward the Middle East. So the cycle continues, and we have "become a monster to defeat a monster."

So who is the enemy? I believe that on this side of the cross, according to the scriptures, that "we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12)

If you track through the whole story of scripture, you see that while God may have fought battles on Israel's behalf in the Old Testament, the trajectory was always towards to the cross, which redeemed God's intention for creation. Jesus set for us an example of living and witnessing that intention through loving, serving, and forgiving our enemies. The way of Christ was not to kill and destroy those who had abused and killed him.

Imagine what would have happened if the entire mass community of Christians who prayed so fervently for our troops to "defeat the enemy" would have instead prayed against the real Enemy and for peace between humanity.

So who is the enemy? We must first remember that the enemies of America are not the enemies of God. I have Iraqi Army veteran family and U.S. Army veteran friends. I have been raised by Southern Methodists and Shiite Muslims. I cannot abdicate the gospel message of Christ to a bomb, but can only bear the cross: the ultimate battlefield victory over the Enemy.

Omar Al-Rikabi is the son of a Southern Methodist mother from Texas and a Shiite Muslim father from Iraq. He is in his final year of earning a Masters of Divinity degree from Asbury Theological Seminary, and a declared candidate for ordination in the United Methodist Church.

.:.

In other inter-faith relations news:

Pope's remarks on Islam spark outrage in Middle East

Wow, smart move... (/sarcasm).

2006-09-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

gadgets and gadget lust

Is it just me, or is it a distinctly male thing in this modern world to be fascinated by mechanical things (ex. electronics, cars, motorcyles, guns, power tools, music equipment)?

Well, as of Wednesday, I'm another Nintendo DS lite owner (in a nice, beautiful onyx black)... not only have I been playing some of my old Gameboy Advance games, I've been completely hooked on the addictive Brain Age - a game that convinces a teacher like me that the field of "educational games" to help students build basic skills in things like math, reading, and analytical thinking is still a (sadly) untapped goldmine.

When I first heard of the Nintendo DS lite, I thought it was a bit of an off-beat idea (playing games with a stylus & touch screen?), but it wasn't until I got to try hands-on the DS lites of Fong and Reg that I became convinced of how innovative and fun the system is... plus, the addition of wireless multiplayer is definitely cool. Now that several members of our Wudan small group have one, we can add some geektastic gaming sessions after our usual meeting. There's nothing like 5-8 grown men yelling, smack-talking, and laughing at each other while they're struggling for supremacy in a round of multiplayer Mario Kart and Tetris.

Overall, the Nintendo DS lite is a great gadget. It has the potential to really transform gaming here in the US. Already in Japan, it's causing a mini-revolution as not only kids and guys, but traditionally non-game playing demographic groups like women and the elderly are scooping it up as the Nintendo DS has suddenly emerged to dominate the Japanese market, an impressive feat considering that Nintendo's Gameboy series was a previous record-holder in terms of longevity and total purchased.

.:.

In other gadget related news:

Apple has recently announced a new line porducts - iPod Nanos that harken back to the iPod mini's colors and aluminum casing, while a completely new iPod shuffle just got really tiny.

2006-09-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

The Last Kiss

I just got back from a promotional screening of the new Zach Braff (of "Scrubs" and "Garden State" fame) movie "The Last Kiss" (official site is here). It was an interesting movie, and having only seen a trailer for it on Apple, it turned out to be a little bit different than I expected - I was under the impression the film would be a romantic comedy, but most of the movie would probably fit under the category of regular drama.

For those unfamiliar with the film's premise, the story revolves around relationship of Michael (Zach Braff) and Jenna (Jacinda Barrett), who we learn about in the first 10 minutes of the movie are a couple who's been dating for over 3 years and is now expecting a baby.

Narration by Michael lets us know that while he has every reason to be happy - a nice GF, a long term relationship, a nice job as an architect - he's beginning to feel trapped by the predictability of his mundane life and feels like there's something missing. When Michael meets a beautiful young college student named Kim (Rachel Bilson) at a friend's wedding, a conversation with Kim seems to fill that void... but Michael's interest in Kim conflicts of course with his relationship with Jenna...

...

Integral to Michael's feelings for Jenna and Kim are the movie's other couples. Michael and Jenna's relationship is juxtaposed against the relationships of the minor characters, especially the relationship of Michael's good friend Chris (Casey Affleck) and his wife (who already have a baby and are struggling to get along), and the troubled marriage of Jenna's parents, Anna (Blythe Danner) and Stephen (Tom Wilkinson). Even the two "comic relief" characters, Michael's friends, Kenny and Izzy, suffer from dysfunctional relationships... Kenny only seems to relate to women via pure physical attraction (AKA sex) and Izzy can't seem to get over the fact that he was dumped by his high school sweetheart.

While the love triangle of Michael-Jenna-Kim is central to the movie, the excellent and interesting performances by the surrounding characters helps to complement the recurring themes of the movie - love & relational dysfunctionality. Characters are shown in a fairly sympathetic light, and even at their worst, the message of the movie comes across in a non-preachy way:

People are human beings, and human beings are emotional creatures who are prone to making mistakes, especially in regards to dealing with each other.

In my opinion the movie wasn't perfect, but I felt it was successful in a lot of good ways, especially in its characterizations and depiction of relationships (the future Mrs. saw it with me and remarked about the dysfunctionality, "It's almost too much reality").

...

Ultimately, whether or not people will like The Last Kiss probably depends on if they're fans of Zach Braff and can sympathize with the very Western, very young and male, quarter-life crisis that his character Michael is going through (Zach actually some interesting stuff to say about the movie on his own website; definitely worth checking out). During the times that Zach Braff's character is staring off into space, it's up to the audience to determine what exactly is going through his head - those interested in the movie will empathize with Michael's own personal crisis while those bored by the movie will probably ended up hating every awkward sequence of Michael zoning out.

Of course, being a fan of Zach Braff myself and being an older 20-something all too familiar with the pains of the quarter-life crisis (did John Mayer really coin this term?), I enjoyed "The Last Kiss". .. though given the serious drama of the movie, I wonder how commercially successful it'll be with the unwashed masses who are expecting a couple of hours of Scrubs-type comedy or The OC-type bubble gum teen drama, whose episodes often end in ways that are much more tidy than "The Last Kiss" ambiguous end.

Regardless, best wishes to Mr. Braff & company. I hope the movie does well and some more folks get out to see it.

.:.

On a somewhat related note:

One of my favorite songs by fantastic singer-songwriter Rachael Yamagata is featured on the movie's soundtrack ("Reason Why"). wh00t.

The full movie soundtrack listing is here.

2006-09-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

yum yum

I freely confess... I love good food.

Correction... I love eating good food.

My pre-matrimonial dieting has been quite a challenge... exercise, I can generally handle, but cutting back on delicious food?

Ah, so difficult... especially when it's home cooked and generously offered to you free of charge! The above Aloha-style plate was consumed this past weekend at church. Potluck items in the picture: 3 pieces of homemade sushi, salad, curry stew, and homemade chili ontop of rice.

2006-09-11T00:49:00.000-07:00

where were you when it happened?

It was surreal day for me 5 years ago... I had just returned from an airplane trip to California to mourn the death of my Po-Po (maternal grandma) and it happened. I had woken up late that day, and was walking to my job at the Odegaard Library media center, when I noticed everybody huddled around the televisions, glued to the screens.

That's when I first saw the video of the airplane crashing right into the WTC tower.

...

Today is the 5 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. The Seattle Times has special articles to remember the event right here and here, and of course, the New York Times has an article, and also an interesting feature ongoing struggle to build a memorial on the site for the victims of the attack.

I wish I could say that the world has become a better place since 9/11, but it hasn't. The sympathy and international goodwill our country once had when it was attacked has been squandered by invasions of two different countries, and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are still waging, and there's no end in sight. Other countries have suffered attacks, including bombings in Bali, Madrid, London, and Mumbai.

There seems to be no real safety, and if anything, the new climate of fear here in the US has to led to racist incidents that victimize even non-Arab peoples such as the murder of Balbir Singh Sodhi or even locally, the harassment of Ian Spiers. And while ignorant folks both common and in the government have perpetuated a lot of the hatred, "Christians" haven't behaved much better... conservative attack dog Ann Coulter has famously said, "We [the US] should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. ...We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war." and ""I think our motto should be, post-9-11, 'raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences.'".

*shakes head*

The world seems ever on its way to a darker future and more chaos, and I place no hope in the world as it is to make things better. I reserve that strictly for my faith.

2006-09-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

knowing people who know people caught up in drama

It's always strange to be reminded how small the world is and how interconnected we all are. Seemingly random encounters aren't random, and when I read the newspaper or watch TV, I see the threads that bind us all, from the past, present, and the future.

My prayers are with everyone I know out there in their own struggles, and fighting their own battles, both seen and unseen.

God be with you all, guide you all, and grant us each peace.

2006-09-07T02:11:00.000-07:00

struck down, but not destroyed

From 2 Corinthian 4:7-12 (NASB):

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. "

.:.

Late night ramblings and spiritual musings.

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to be the scripture reader during the Sunday morning 3rd service, and the above passage was the one given to me to read. It's an interesting passage, maybe because it goes straight to the ugly facts that followers of God sometimes seem gloss over about life in this world: that we too sometimes cannot avoid suffering, confusion, abandonment, or being wounded.

In eyes of an amoral and atheistic modern world, it would seem to be ultimate foolishness to choose to subscribe to a divine being and set of spiritual beliefs that promise the inevitability of pain rather than the total relief of pain. Since the earliest histories of humanity's search for an authentic spirituality, people have sought the perfect relief /protection from pain - we have desired an easy-to-don spiritual aegis that renders us completely focused on our own happiness.

...

For myself, I'd like to think my stomach for pain and disappointment would have strengthened over the years, but I find that still, the seeds of doubt that lurk about in my mind have already sprouted thorns. I find I worry already about a lot of things, but especially about re-applying to grad school, teaching again, and being put back in typical elementary school ecosystem, with unabashed lack of men, and even a more unabashed lack of men of color. A year ago, my dream of going into education had seemed so bright and attainable, the final convergence of something I felt I had a small amount of ability to do along with my own spiritual, moral, and social views. Now, even with another opportunity just a few months away, there's a small anxiety festering as a result of the failure of previous efforts... I've already been struck down plenty of times before, will it happen again?

I ponder.

struck down, but not destroyed.

At the center of the gospel story is the memory of Christ's death and resurrection. The faith holds his unjust death and glorious return to life as an underlying theme for all things, for it is a lesson that even in the gravest of circumstances, hope survives and can even thrive... but for every heart warming story of salvation that is popularized and repeated, I can't help but think of the stories that are less clean-cut and occupy the realms of ugly reality, like those of a kidnapped girl held for over 8 years in windowless, soundproofed, cell. I don't begin to even presume that I can imagine how she survived, but on some level, the feeling of being simultaneously frustrated, trapped, angry, and helpless resonates deeply with me.

struck down, but not destroyed.

.:.

If you've ever been playing a sport or sparring, there's the occasional moment when you get knocked down. Most of the time the falls are light, but the hard falls, the ones that really hurt, have a way of pounding themselves into your body and your memory.

Once upon a time (long ago), as a young student in high school, I remember a particularly intense sparring session during kendo practice. Several students including myself had been invited to visit another dojo and during a sparring session run as a mock tournament match, I got matched up with an older man, a middle-aged white guy who was a good foot taller than me, heavier by at least 80lbs, and also outranked me.

The sparring match started off normally at first, but after my opponent failed to intimidate or score a point on me during the first couple of minutes, I noticed his technique switching to a much more dirty style of fighting - things that technically aren't illegal in kendo, but are considered in bad taste (excessive shoving, especially to gain a force out; intentional stepping / kicking the opponents' feet; hitting with an excessive amount of force; intentionally making sloppy attacks to bruise an opponent rather than score a point). Despite the armor worn in kendo, it's still quite possible to sustain injuries... the guy was clearly trying to rough me up, and the sempai watching the match didn't intervene.

At some point during the middle of match, I was again given a hard shove by my opponent, but because of the angle of his attack, I failed to notice his feet tripping me at the same time. I fell backwards, still raising my sword to parry (during a tournament-style match, it's perfectly legal to attack a falling opponent unless the referee pauses the match), but unfortunately, since both hands were gripping my sword in a position to parry, there was nothing to help ease my backward fall and I hit the ground with a loud thud as my upper back, my head, and my backside (in that order) made contact with the gym's hardwood floor.

It hurt like hell. Really hurt.

I heard the sempai referee'n the match yell, "YAME" (stop), signaling a stop to the match, and for a few split seconds, I lay there on the floor in full armor, clutching my sword in my left hand and holding the back of my head in my right hand. I was tired, I was bruised, and I was sick of fighting this big, dumb, obnoxious idiot who seemed to not know any other technique than trying to shove around a kid less than half his age. In those seconds, my mind had already reasoned, It's OK to ask to stop the match. People can you see you're hurt. It's not a real tournament match, it's just sparring. Nothing's on the line. Nobody will give it a thought or even care if you decide to quit. Just quit.

just quit.
QUIT.

I froze and instantly, I could feel something well up in my soul that just loathed the idea of quitting. My body was still hurt from the bruising of the fall, and I could feel a lump on the back of my head beginning to throb with pain... but something deeper compelled me to get back up and keep fighting, even if it was against an opponent that was bigger, older, stronger, and supposedly more skilled than me.

struck down, but not destroyed.

Fueled by something, I got back up and finished the sparring match - the next time that my opponent came lumbering through with his predictable, yet clumsy attack, I stood my ground and took just a second to smoothly roll off to my left side in clockwise pivot, like a matador letting a bull pass, while I delivered a (satisfying) strike to his head. Point scored, sparring match over... no thunderous applause, no trophies given, no riches won, nor groupies gained. Just the satisfaction of knowing that I hadn't let someone break me down. It's all I wanted, really.

Part of me always wants to keep fighting. Is it instinct? Stubborn pride? God prompting me? I have to keep conscious of that impetus to not give up or surrender. Gotta remember that.

Time to sleep.

2006-09-05T23:57:00.000-07:00

traveling friends, bloggers with deep thoughts

Ramblings.

When I was in 9th grade Honors English class (my first year as a "giftie"), my teacher Mr. Spears would always have these quasi-philosophical things to say like "a piece of writing is never done until it's taken from you" or "writing is an art and a discipline". He was a harsh, strict teacher with some odd quirks, and as a cynical student, I never really appreciated him much... especially since all it took for me to drive him crazy enough to kick me out of the classroom was a combined choir of noise of snapping binders and clicking erasers, courtesy of myself and another conspirator, Doug Ferguson.

Now that I'm older, I can appreciate that I actually did learn a lot from him... not only how to improve my own writing, but how to appreciate other people's writing, especially via this wonderous medium that we call the 'Net AKA the World Wide Web.

Since lately my own inspiration has been dry, I've been doing a lot of reading of other people's stuff...

davefonic's been roadtripping 'round the Southwest US and just got back. Apparently, people thought he was a Navajo. Funny enough, when I was in high school, I traveled a couple times to the Eastern Washington area, I heard people say they thought I was a Native American too... since then, I've striven to enhance my Chinaman good-looks.
Jon is up in Yamanashi, Japan, close to Mt. Fuji.
david and chris are finishing up a short-term mission doing social work and intervention in Southeast Asia, having worked primarily with the Karen people minority group in Thailand.
Hui Jeong has been posting transcript excerpts from an impressive oral history project she did about her mother, covering everything from her early life in Korea to her life in America. It's an excellent read and an inspiration to me, since for a long time, I've been wanting for a long time to do an oral history project on my family, especially my mom's mother and father. For Hui Jeong's Yuhl-Sheem project read part 1; part 2; part 3; part 4; part 5; part 6; part 7; part 8.
sarah writes about her experiences as a Korean adoptee, her investigations into her past, and her own general thoughts. Not light reading, especially the translated transcripts of interviews with various mothers who were interviewed for a documentary about the Korean birth mothers of adoptees... heartwrenching stuff.

.:.

Asian American film

Has it progressed beyond the "Joy Luck Club"?

I'd like to think so, but in some ways, it seems that it has not... witness the vigorous debate over the movie "Red Doors" over at Mike2Cents Xanga and on the Fighting44s forum.

It's impossible to summarize the entire debate, but consider this: "Red Doors" is a film that claims to represent the Asian American experience and has asked for support from the Asian American community, but the story of the film revolves around a Chinese family's three daughters who... are involved in varying romatic relationships with WHITE MEN. Now one, I can understand... two, OK... but three?! Oh yeah, apparently the lone major Asian American male characer in the picture is the father of the three daughters, a recently retired man who is obsessed with suicide.

Sound suspect to you? Yeah, you're not the only one.

Unlike "Better Luck Tomorrow", "Saving Face" or "Americanese", I ain't supporting this one (read the Fighting44s debate for some good reasons, especially posts by Xian, toml, Scowl, and Seraph). Apparently, even at screenings, the director was unable to explain why her film reinforced the absence of Asian American men and their invisibleness even in "Asian American film". A quote from someone who attended a screening:

I attended the premiere of Red Doors at the Tribeca Film Fest last year. I was really looking forward to the film--i waited in line in the drizzling cold rain, got into the theater and didn't even get a seat at first--but i waited and anticipated. Unfortunately, at the end of the film, it fell far from my expectations. I won't go into my likes and dislikes of the movie because i wanted to post about how Ms. Lee thoroughly left me dumbfounded by her response to a question from the audience.

Someone asked why none of the love interests were Asian American. Ms. Lee responded initally by saying that she expected someone to ask her that question. With that introduction, i expected an answer that would be thoughtful and perhaps enlightening to hundreds of people who packed the theater -- maybe she can actually address stereotypes and images.

To my astonishment, her response seemed to reinforce why a filmmaker wouldn't cast an Asian American male actor and tell people an easy way to get around with Asian American representation. She continues to explain that the audience member is wrong. That there was an Asian American love interest -- the second daughter's lesbian lover is in fact played by an actress who is half-Asian. She further explains that Mia Riverton speaks fluent Mandarin, better than anyone else she knows. In my mind, she was saying that to be Asian, you must speak an Asian language.

Ms. Lee continues explaining to the audience that the male love interests were really complicated characters. Take for example, the older daughter's former love. Ms. Lee said she had to find an actor that not only could act, but had to also be able to sing and play the guitar. So, I and others interpreted this to mean that it's too hard to find an Asian American actor to fill such a complicated role. AT NO POINT that night, did she mention that she had cast an APA male in the role but something happened that she had to recast. Only until reading some later responses, did i find that out.

I was just completely disappointed by Ms. Lee because i thought she had an opportunity to really address the issue of representation head on. I would have respected her response if she addressed how APAs are represented in the media, or talked how she did try to cast an APA male in the role and why she wanted to cast someone APA. I would have loved if she talked about her reason to cast white males in those roles -- how it was important to add to the story she was telling. But she didn't. And to me, it seemed as if she didn't get it -- she didn't understand why it would be an issue. She lost a great opportunity to educate filmgoers. And she lost me as a result of it.

Posted 9/2/2006 at 10:27 PM by veruca88

I encourage everyone else to NOT support this film... spread the word. The AA community deserves better than a decade more of "Joy Luck Club" rehashes and rip-offs of previous established master works like "Eat Drink Man Woman". Wait instead for showing of "The Motel", or "Shanghai Kiss". Save your support for them.

2006-09-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

yarrrrr

So lately, I've been thinking of giving it all up, and making a career change... ya know, a job with more freedom, more guns, more swords, more hard liquor, and a more flexible dress code.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

yar!

(happy (late) birthday, Capt'n GahLeiGai).

2006-09-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

podcast, episode 9

Well, with the start of September, summer's winding down to a close. I thought I'd make a "summer music" themed podcast, but I ended having so many songs I wanted to use that it'll be a two-parter. This first part, part 1, will be all hip-hop music... wh00t!

You can download it directly from this link right here. (right click & save as)

The podcast is about ~27minutes long, and is 25mb, 128kb mono MP3.

Playlist of songs in the cast:

1. A Tribe Called Quest - Award Tour
2. A Lighter Shade of Brown - On A Sunday Afternoon
3. Paperboy - Ditty
4. Warren G. - This DJ
5. Ice Cube - You Know How We Do It
6. Blue Scholars - Freewheelin'

Background music :

FORCE OF NATURE - Tsurugi no Mai

If you're interested in more, check out the IIStix podcasting project. Links to previous GarPodcasts....

-Podcast 08 - Love Songs
-Podcast 07 - "Mystery" Theme + Hip-Hop
-Podcast 06 - Reggae / Dancehall Songs
-Podcast 05 - Cover Songs
-Podcast 04 - Hip-Hop Music Sampled from Movies
-Podcast 03 - Music Heard in Movies / TV / Anime / Video Games
-Podcast 02 - Miscellaneous
-Podcast 01 - Songs from Seattle Area Bands

...

For local Seattleites: if you enjoy listening to the Blue Scholars, check 'em out this weekend at Bumbershoot, opening for Kanye West on Sunday night! Sadly, I won't be able go this year, but still... show 'em some love by going to the show, and of course, coppin' some merch.

2006-09-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

Ichiro-Johjima connection

PHOTO BY OTTO GREULE JR

It's been a ~~pathetic~~ disappointing year for Seattle Mariner baseball fans, but one of the bright spots has been the addition of Kenji Johjima, adding another former Japanese baseball star to the team (the first being Ichiro Suzuki, of course). The Seattle Times has a nice feature today on the Ichiro-Johjima connection, highlighting not only baseball, but also some observations for those who know nothing about the social norms of Japanese culture.

While outside observers might have assumed that the addition of Johjima would be a seamless transition just because he was Japanese, insiders knew there was a potential for the opposite, given the differences between the two players and the fact that they played for rival ball clubs while in Japan (Ichiro for the Blue Wave; Johjima for the Hawks). An interesting quote from Ichiro:

"The starting point for all relationships is the human element," Ichiro explains. "You learn what kind of person someone is by observing their everyday behavior. Some people are honest with their feelings and others are superficial. I'm particularly sensitive to the difference between the two.

"The more time I spent with Joh in the clubhouse and on the field, I discovered he wasn't superficial; to the contrary, he's very honest and straightforward. I respect that. I found him to be a very decent human being, and that made me respect him as my teammate."

And a quote from Johjima on Ichiro:

"I knew coming in here that there would be only two Japanese players on the team, so it was my responsibility to make the effort to get along with Ichiro," he says. "But you don't just go out and ask someone for their respect, you have to earn it from them through your actions. I never once worried that I wouldn't be able to do that."

Good stuff. Read the full article here.

2006-08-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

air travel insecurities

Since the tragedy of 9/11, one of the things that's been repeated over and over by people in the US government is "never again" - supposedly, America got caught with a cheap shot while our pants were down, and now that we're "aware" of the horrors of terrorism, we're supposed to be safer, right? Congress has passed numerous funding bills, new security agencies have been formed, old security agencies have been re-organized, and your average citizen is generally much more pro-active about defending our country from evil... at least that's what we'd like to think, eh?

...

Unfortunately, it seems the current climate has done nothing but heighten paranoia, and worst of all, blatant racism against people of Middle Eastern or South Asian descent under the guise of "security concerns".

Fellow blogger Xian wrote a satirical piece last week in response to news that two British South Asian men being thrown off their flight because other passengers accused them "behaving suspiciously" (read: they were not white and spoke to each other in a non-European language).

Earlier in the month, an Iraqi-American blogger named Raed Jarrar was forced off a JetBlue flight because he was wearing a t-shirt with Arabic script across that also had the English translation printed beneath it, "We Will Not Be Silent". He was told that he couldn't wear the t-shirt with Arabic on it because "passengers found it offensive" (read: passengers were illiterate and racist). An audio interview and transcript with Jarrar can be read here... Jarrar posted about the incident on his blog right here.

These are far from isolated incidents, too... similar cases such as this one and this one have already happened on airplane flights, which leads one to this general conclusion: are bumbling security systems and personnel are more likely to harass innocent civilians than actually catch terrorists.

After all, all us Asians look alike, right? Especially the darkish, brownish, kind... it's way too much trouble for important white folks to go to the trouble of actually distinguishing people who are Arab, Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Japanese, Persian, or whatever. You never know who's Al Qaeda, PLO, IRA, or even JRA these days!

...

The latest story of in-security comes from of all places, a video game blog called Kotaku. A poor WoW (World of Warcraft) player made the mistake of accidentally dropping his Nano in the bathroom, causing him to be accused of planting a bomb and being a terrorist... a first ever case of supposed "iPod terrorism", if you can believe it.

...

Looks like it's gonna be a lot safer just sticking to the roads of America's concrete freeways like my friend davefonic, safeguarding our borders and meeting the real illegal aliens.

2006-08-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

guerilla video

Well, master videographer / homie Chong has finally got around to re-editing and uploading the short video project we did for this year's "Faith & Race" class at Quest church. You can check out the video on YouTube right here:

"Silent Racism"

While not perfect, it was a pretty interesting experience conceptualizing and filming the video as a group. The entire video was filmed in Seattle's Chinatown / International District, so you can imagine we got some pretty strange looks from people who passed us by while we were filming.

Many thanks to Chong, and the rest of the Wudan Mountain / Bible study posse for the help in making it.

.:.

If you find "Silent Racism" to be too much of a downer... well, at there's always Silent Library, right?

2006-08-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

PAX

To my fellow Seattle-ites and Eastsiders:

If you happen to notice a weird amount of traffic around I-90 and 520 this weekend, don't worry... it's just the 17,000 video gamers / otaku who are in town in the downtown Bellevue area for webcomic / game ndustry commentors Penny Arcade's 3rd annual event, PAX. Grip your controllers tightly, hold back your daughters, and hide your dice... haha.

Even the Seattle PI has a news story on the event, which starts tomorrow and lasts until Sunday night.

I must confess, my inner gameplaying geek is tempted to check out the convention mandess for at least one day, but sadly, my War-crack and FPS skills have sadly deteriorated from their once respectable heights.

.:.

DS lite madness

In other gamer related news, reading Kotaku has saved me from spending ridiculous amounts of cash on an imported colored Nintendo DS lite - apparently, the black DS lite and the pink DS lite will dropping stateside around September 13th. Wh00t!

Read the story here...

2006-08-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

Warm Beach 2006

Some favorite pics:

.:.

Well, I've finally sorted through and organized most of my photos, uploading them to my Flickr account. I had over 100 pics.

For a fun video of a group of students/leaders getting "punished" for losing stuff, click right here (~20megs... instructions to use Rapidshare can be found here). Too funny.

Thanks again to all the other counselors/staff for their help, and of course, many thanks to all the students. You inspire us "old people" too!

2006-08-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

weekend notes

I'm very tired. Not very coherent right now, but I wanted to jot down a few thoughts.

JEMS Warm Beach 2006... awesome. I'm always so blessed with the privilege to work with the students and watch them grow. With such a great group of kids, "my job" as a leader was easy... gotta huge amount of photos to sort through / edit / upload to Flickr. Mr. Bhang is leaving for a year long mission in Chi-town... I pray for all the best for him.

Got back home from this weekend's retreat/camp 'round 4:30pm after fighting traffic down I-5 to head south. Weather was warm and sunny. Felt a little sleepy so I kept drinking my energy drink. Guessed it worked.

.:.

Fong + his Mrs. came and hung out.

Went out to celebrate with J-Fukushima at the Southcenter Appleby's before his flight to Japan tomorrow... I'll miss him, but at the same time it's awesome he has the opportunity to go. I know he'll do well..

2006-08-16T00:31:00.000-07:00

in the sweet, and in the bitter...

...one moment, and one day, at a time.

2006-08-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

busy busy

The short list of lessons learned from this past weekend's adventures:

Service via phone sucks.
I went to the bank on Saturday because I had received a letter about a pre-Japan savings account that I hadn't touched since 2003 was about to be declared inactive - meaning, the bank would be able to legally say it was abandoned and they could claim the money in it (about $99... not a massive amount, but definitely not small)! Being the frugal person I am, I wasn't about to let my own bank deprive me of money that was rightfully mine, so I went in to the bank to try to transfer the money to my present account and close the old one.

To make a long story short, the phone system of BofA sucks big monkey balls, but the bank lady who was helping me gave some awesome customer service, fighting over an hour for me through a bunch of bonehead phone network transfers across departments and several states (Missouri, New York, California, & Arizona).

Doing business via phones... bah. It makes me wonder if they purposely make it difficult for you to doing anything via phone so you'll have to either do everything online or pay $$$ to talk to a teller at the bank...
Chinese locksmiths rock.
The fiancee and I went to do some wedding registry stuff at BBB. While most of the stuff in that store was generally uninteresting to me, I did have a huge fascination with the various kitchen appliances/tools (blenders! grills! fryers!), along with learning the joys of using a handheld scanner shaped like a tricorder from Star Trek (which of course I used to scan a couple of random items, just for the fun of it).

We didn't finish because Shiv had to leave for another appointment, and when we returned to her car, we discovered that she had accidently left her keys in the car. Oops. We went back into the store to borrow the yellowpages, and I called the number of a locksmith with the biggest ad with a Tukwila location, promising "30 minutes or less" travel. I rang up the number, and was not only relieved to find out that the guy was a couple of blocks away at Southcenter mall, but that he had a Chinese accent. It took him only about 15 minutes to arrive, and using a inflatable flat rubber bag plus a long metal hook, he was able to get the door open. The day was saved.
There's never such a thing as too much Japanese food.
Okay, this isn't really a new lesson or anything for me, but c'mon... saba shioyaki? sashimi? una-jyu? 魚が大好き。

I ate at Matsu Sushi in Lynnwood on Saturday night for a birthday party, and at Hiroshi's this past evening to celebrate Shiv's parents' visit.

.:.

m-flo musical hook-up

Some IIStix friends of mine saw my lastFM charts, and asked for the hook up for some samples of two of m-flo's latest LPs. I figured I might as well be generous and post the links on this blog as well. Both are free to DL via megaupload:

-BEAT SPACE NINE
-DOPE SPACE NINE

BSN is the original album featuring collabs with various JPop artists like Sowelu, Rie-fu, Yoshika, EMYLI, and Kahimi Karie. DSN is mostly remixes of the songs on BSN.

Enjoy the samples while they're up, because they won't be there for long!

2006-08-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

podcast, episode 8

No hip-hop music this time, but thanks to a suggestion from Ray, this podcast features songs about that crazy, mysterious, and wonderful thing we call love - which is my interpretation of Ray's prompt to get "songs you want to have played at your wedding, because this wedding business is not crazy enough as things stand." Haha, Ray. ;)

You can download it directly from this link right here. (right click & save as)

The podcast is about ~37minutes long, and is 34mb, 128kb mono MP3.

Playlist of songs in the cast:

1. Marvin Gay & Tammi Terrell - You're All I Need To Get By
2. Al Green - Let's Stay Together
3. Stevie Wonder - You Are the Sunshine of MY Life
4. Joe - All That I Am
5. John Legend - Stay With You
6. Sade - By Your Side (Neptunes remix)
7. Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
8. Norah Jones - Those Sweet Words

Background music :

My Sassy Girl OST - Love and Longing

If you're interested in more, check out the IIStix podcasting project. Links to previous GarPodcasts....

-Podcast 07 - "Mystery" Theme + Hip-Hop
-Podcast 06 - Reggae / Dancehall Songs
-Podcast 05 - Cover Songs
-Podcast 04 - Hip-Hop Music Sampled from Movies
-Podcast 03 - Music Heard in Movies / TV / Anime / Video Games
-Podcast 02 - Miscellaneous
-Podcast 01 - Songs from Seattle Area Bands

.:.

Warm Beach 2006 is coming up! I'm really forward to working with the young 'uns again and enjoying all the joys of "camp". Heh heh.

2006-08-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

liquid bombs + planes = terror?

It's been a crazy day, with news that supposedly a terrorist plot involving liquid or gel-based explosives was foiled today in in London. Given all the recent trouble in the Middle East with the Hezbollah-Israeli conflict, and America's incompetent handling of the crisis, one wonders how long this attack was in planning, and at what stage the authorities were able to stop it.

As for the questions about how a liquid could be used to build a bomb? Well, maybe Al Qaeda just happened to Google themselves a recipe via the Internet (I take no responsibility for this link or its contents).

2006-08-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

a father's legacy, mortality, working out

Late night musings.

I was attending the wrap-up session for Quest's "Faith & Race" class, and during one of the "call to action" sessions, a short chat with another guy from the class, Sam, made me pause.

S: So what church do you go to, (Gar)?
G: I got to Chinese Baptist Church on Beacon Hill.
S: No way! I used to go there...
G: Really? That's cool.
S: Yeah. I'm guessing it's before your time, but do you know who Pastor Garland was?
G: (stun) ...yeah, he was my dad.
S: (shock) ...wow!
G: What a small world...
S: Not to flatter you or anything, (Gar), but your Dad was a good man. I liked going to CBC while he was there. After he passed away, things just weren't the same and I ended up leaving.
G: I know what you mean...

.:.

In the almost over 18 years that I have passed since my father's death, I've often wondered what his legacy to me has been. It's never so easy to define something like a legacy, and the fact that my father was never a wealthy person means that I don't have the lazy luxury of categorizing what he's left me to a mere amount of dollars and cents in a bank account. To find my what my father has left behind for me requires me to think about things on a more abstract level.

My short conversation with Sam reminded me that the greatest gift of my father's legacy is the impact that he had on people. His care and compassion for them has so often reverberated back to me - people honor my father by showing kindness to me, and it's humbling. The people who knew my father, especially current and ex-members of my church, carry with them the investments of his life. He somehow lives on in their memories, and it his example that sometimes spurs me on to trying to follow God and help other people, especially those who remain in the church he left behind.

At the same time, I can't deny that it's been difficult for me to focus on the positives of those fleeting memories. Too often instead, in the lingering memories of my father's and other family member's deaths, I feel the sharpness of my own mortality bearing down on top of me. One might think that a sense of the shortness of life might compel me to more anal-retentive about life and always in a rush, but instead, a vague sense of Buddhistic determinism makes me resigned to things as they are because my actions, independent of anything, are ineffectual in changing things.

To put things another one way: sometimes I feel that like my father, his brothers, my uncles, and my grandfathers, I too am fated to live a shortened life, no matter what I do, as if God Himself has already set this destiny aside for me.

.:.

I was probably in the best shape in my life during my years in high school and my first couple of years in college. The fact that I was in such good shape I attribute completely to kendo, the discipline and motivation it gave me to stay in "fighting shape". I would attend 2-3 hour practices at least twice week, or sometimes even three or four times a week. As a high school student, I remember kangeiko in the winter time, with all the sensei and sempai opening up the doors of the gym to let in the freezing wind while barking/encouraging us students to grind out our drills in between running laps, push-ups, crunches, and squats. As a college student, I remember walking all the way down to the IMA from the McCarty dorm, carrying my shinai (bamboo swords) and bogu (armor) bags every day there was practice, and after the exhausting practice, hiking all the way back up hill to the dorm.

Life in Japan was pretty healthy for me too - healthy Japanese food (in good portions), plenty of walking, and of course... lots of whisky, bourbon, and beer. Upon returning to America, there was significant reduction in Japanese food and walking, but unfortunately for my body, whisky/bourbon consumption remained constant, and "the baby" (AKA my belly) began to grow. Having another series of rough patches in life didn't help to discourage consumption either, since the lazy morbidity of my depressed mindset concluded, "Why bother exercising a body that has nothing to live for anyway?"

Fastfoward to the present, and now that I have the whole marriage thing on the near horizon, I've decided to start exercising again so I won't need to swap tuxes with Akebono or Musashimaru. My friend Josh has taken up the responsibility to be my personal trainer, and so far, it's been going good... I think. I still get sore as hell afterwards.

The old cliche of "No pain, no gain", right?

If that's true, I must be due for some serious gain.

2006-08-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

race and video games

Are you interested in video games?

Are you interested in issues of race and its portrayal in various media?

If your answer to both of these questions is "yes", then check out this most excellent reflection on the convergence of those topics, written by Pat Miller.

An interesting quote:

Whether we like it or not, race, like sexuality, is intricately woven throughout our videogames, and we re astonishingly capable of ignoring it even when it's staring us in the face. We have no problem assigning essentialist, natural meaning to racial categories when we're rolling our D&D characters; trolls are strong, elves are agile, "humans" can do pretty much everything. But could we ever, in good conscience, write "black" on our character sheet because we need the strength bonus?

For those of you too lazy to read the entire article, Miller observes that despite the continuing sophistication and "maturing" of the video games, both the industry and the larger gamer community continue to show a lack of understanding of issues of race - everything from the portrayal of certain characters and stereotypes in video games, to the cavalier way that gamers often use racial ephitets like "nigger" or "chink" in chat.

.:.

Of course, given the average gamer demographic (young, white, male, hetereosexual, suburban, middle - upper class) is it any wonder that the community of gamers is largely ignorant of racial issues?

After all, for most of these gamers, their education about the reality of racism is limited to the annual MLK Jr. assembly that happened in high school or junior high. The controversial Sony white PSP ad campaign raised quite a few eyebrows around the world, but the response/comments from the gamer community ranged from passive indifference to even outright support using the dubious logic of "I'm not racist, and I don't think this ad is racist, so therefore, YOU MUST BE RACIST!".

For a community that seems enamored with promoting that its hobby is "more intelligent" than others, there's a certain irony to the fact that in matters of race, racism, and social justice, it's still just as backward as the rest of the world.

2006-08-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

cousins and more cousins

While I enjoy living here in Seattle, the one downside to being here is that most of my extended family (both sides) lives in California. While me, my mom, and sis frequently makes trips to visit family there, it isn't often that family from down there comes up to Seattle, which leads to me feeling sometimes disconnected from all the uncles, aunties, and cousins I have.

Also, now that I'm getting older, there's also the added sadness that comes when a member of the extended family passes away and you're forced to realize that the last time you saw them maybe been months, if not a whole year ago. That's been the reality of things the past 5 years or so, with loss of both my grandmothers, and several uncles and aunties.

That being said, I'm always very happy to spend time with family in the event that they do come to visit here in Seattle. It's like an extra holiday!

This past weekend, my auntie and some cousins from my Dad's side came to visit, plus their families and kids...

Dinner @The Ram with MoiMoi laughing, Greg smiling, and cousin Dara making a funny face.

Mmm, dessert.

Taking the kiddies to Dick's Drive In! It's a Seattle institution. Shiv is in the background smiling because she knows I owe her big time for being a good sport and helping me watch the kids.

Seeing (big) salmon at the Ballard Locks fish ladder.

Getting blinded by little Erica.

Lunch time at a mongolian grill joint.

Isn't Callie a cutie? I know she's definitely got Chan blood, with both a taste for candy and a willingness to make a funny face at anytime. ;)

Shiv, Sara, Callie's Dad, Erica, MoiMoi, and Kelly posing with the "Build-A-Bear" bears that MoiMoi bought them. Spoiling the kids, heh heh.

Whole family having dinner @ McCormick & Schmidt's at the Lincoln Center.

Good times...

2006-08-05T23:26:00.000-07:00

Johnny Depp's favorite interview...

..is an interview on Japanese television with two kids?

Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EdkL30Sb8I

Hilarious stuff. Big ups to IIStix for the link.

2006-08-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

crushed and trapped in the darkness, but still there is light...

I just back from an advance screening of Oliver Stone's new movie, "World Trade Center", and I was quite impressed. To be honest, I sort of expected Stone to take a more controversial look at the events of 9/11, given the intricate conspiracy theories pictured in JFK, his critique of the US government and our political system in Nixon, or even the way he's looked at American culture and the media in Natural Born Killers.

Instead, Stone's "WTC" is much more straightforward, even melodramatic, effort that frames the events of 9/11 in an intimate narrative - based on the true stories of two port authority police officers, "WTC" gives a ground-level view of what happened on that day in September. Seeing everything happening through their eyes, and the eyes of their families, allows a very personal and non-political look at the World Trade Center attacks, and of course, gripping drama. Stone cleverly cuts between real news footage from that day along with the events of the film.

Perhaps the most difficult (but captivating) moments in the movie to see are the scenes with the trapped policemen, John McLoughlin (played by Nicolas Cage) and Will Jimeno (played by Michael Peña). Pinned beneath the rubble, the two men struggle to survive and encourage each other, alternating between talking about their families and their lives as cops. In some of the most beautifully shot parts of the film, Jimeno and McLoughlin lay trapped and crushed in the darkness of the ruined WTC, but they're still able to catch small glimpses of light shining through the cracks above them... what a great metaphor for the stories of so many "ordinary heroes".

"WTC" was definitely not a "light movie", but I think it's worth seeing. The events of that day and its aftermath ought to be reflected on by the people of this country.

You can check out a trailer for the movie right here.

2006-08-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Craigslist and 420?

I've been a fan of Craigslist since my friend Cora introduced it to me waaaay back when we were both students at the UW. It's part classified ads, part community bulletin, and even when you're bored, you can find plenty of amusement just by browsing the personal ads (which seemed to filled with Asiaphile gweilo men). As fellow blogger maloy demonstrates, it's almost criminally easy to make fun of some of freaks that inhabit it.

In any case, a new Seattle Times article makes the claim that Craigslist is now a black market for weed. Oh no! The horror!

While I'm not the sort of person to condone illegal drug use, aren't there more important things to worry about right now? Like Lebanon or Iraq? Skyrocketing oil prices? The growing racism, militarism, and fascism in the US and abroad?

Wait, I know... weed is part of the "War on Terror"! In secret hydroponic farms across the globe, the Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Hezbollah grow freakish amounts of ganja while listening to BEP to sell to vulnerable American teenagers and make money to buy AK-47s! (/sarcasm)

Sigh.

The only that newspaper article is going to do is inspire every high schooler in Western Washington to start posting ads on Craigslist looking to get their smoke on...

2006-08-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

d-d-d-d-daikon

So last week, one of my co-workers at my new job, Nobu, and I were talking about how much we like eating okonomiyaki and how Seattle doesn't have any okonomiyaki restaurants. Memories of eating it in Japan definitely gave me some nostalgia - my host family's mother made awesome homemade okonomiyaki! As it turns out, Nobu happens to be from Osaka.

Yay, Kansai! ;)

Of course, all the talk about food made us both hungry for some okonomiyaki, so we decided to do something about - we concocted a plan to fulfill our food cravings... I'd bring my electric griddle, and we'd cook some at work!

Nobu mixing his okonomiyaki up while another co-worker watches.

Cooking the okonomiyaki... Nobu's pretty one with octopus & tenkasu is on the right. My ghetto one with lots of cabbage and daikon is on the left.

Nobu says, "It's good, yo."

We made (and ate) a lot. Nothing like working with a happy belly full of food.

In a slightly related note:

I can't believe I found daikon at my local Safeway. I live in a pretty white suburb and it sorta blew my mind that the store would have it. I guess ol' Renton-Kent is becoming Asianified. Wh00t.

.:.

Infernal Affairs remake

The Hollywood remake of Asian movies continues... the Hong Kong police/triad thriller movie "Infernal Affairs" that starred Tony Leung as a cop playing a triad and Andy Lau as a triad playing a copy has been remade. The American version is being called "The Departed", directed by the legendary Martin Scorcese with Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon as the leads.

"The Departed" trailer

(for comparison, the trailer to the original "Infernal Affairs" with cheesy English voiceover can be seen right here)

Though I'm a big Scorcese fan, I have my doubts about the movie. Leonardo DiCaprio can't even begin to compare to how awesome Tony Leung is, but I think I can actually dig having Jack Nicholson play the part of mob boss. We'll see, eh?

I'm more looking forward to the film adaptation of Frank Miller's "300".

2006-07-31T23:33:00.000-07:00

global bloodshed, local violence

"Humanity collectively has lost their moral consciousness.
They've forgotten the value of that one life."

-Ali Salaam Mahmoud, imam of a mosque in Des Moines

While violence in Lebanon between Israeli forces and Hezbollah continues to spiral out of control, Seattle itself seemed to be sucked into the conflict with the shooting rampage this past Friday at a local Jewish community organization by a man identified only as a "Muslim American".

Why do news organizations always use that term, anyways? I don't see them printing "Christian American" or "Buddhist American".

While some media outlets have had the good sense to suspend judgement before all the facts of the case are revealed, I'm sure there are plenty of others out there who are quick to accuse the Muslim American community of terrorist conspiracies despite organizations like CAIR being quick to condemn the killings. I suspect that even if the suspect is tried and convicted as a lone gunman with a history of mental illness and doubtful religious convictions, his act of violence will still be used as an excuse to persecute and stereotype the Muslim American community.

On the positive side, it seems like Seattle itself has taken the responsible stand of supporting the victims while decrying sectarian violence. Local leaders and laypeople from multiple faiths attended the funeral of Pamela Waechter, who died in the shooting on Friday.

.:.

*EDIT*

For more thorough analysis of the event, Orcinus has a great post here.

2006-07-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

playing the ass... literally

It's been a busy week, between work, going to church at night to help with the running of the annual VBS summer program, and helping the the future mrs. move into her new place.

Some random convos from the week.

At Work
Boss: Hey Gar, can you help me move this stuff to the upstairs office?
Gar: Sure, no problem.

(pick up stuff)

Gar: Oof, this stuff is actually a little bit heavy. I'm getting flashbacks to helping my fiancee move into her new place.
Boss: You're getting married?! When did this happen?
Gar: A couple of weeks ago. Didn't I tell you?
Boss: No.
Gar: Oops. Ummm, yeah... I'm getting married!
Boss: Ha, took you long enough.
At Work, #2
(I walk into lunchroom to see Sol's new wife Annie dropping by with a nice lunch for him)

Gar: Whoa, nice! Did she make that just for you?
Sol: Yep! Oh yeah, I heard the news. Congrats! Look what you have to look forward to, eh?
Gar: Haha. AWESOME!
Price of Fun & Admission
(at KOOTS planning meeting for this years' Warm Beach)

C.Shimabukuro>So now, on to this year's budget and registration...
Rodimus Bhang>Yeah, it seems a little bit high this year.
C.Shimabukuro>I know $250 is a lot for a youth camp...
Gar>!!!
C.Shimabukuro>...but it is for four days...
Gar>Well, 2 half-days and 2 full days...
Rodimus Bhang>Why is it so expensive this year?
C.Shimabukuro>Well, the camp says insurance costs for one thing...
Gar>I almost busted my ankle last year...
Rodimus Bhang>...and then, there was the whole thing of one of the kids breaking their arm on the pavement and having to go to the hospital...
Gar>...
Chinese Soulfood
(I walk into the fellowship hall and head to the serving table. I make myself a plate of char-siu, rice, and cabbage after putting money in the basket marked "$2". Auntie Quan, sees me and walks over to the basket, takes out my money, and shoves back into my pocket)

Auntie Quan>No.
Gar>Auntie! Let me pay.
Auntie Quan>I don't take your moms money. I don't take your money.

(auntie smiles)

Gar>But...

(auntie shakes her head and blocks me.)

Gar>Fine...

(You can't win an argument with a sweet Chinese grandma. Auntie points to the serving tray)

Auntie Quan>More char-siu.
Ass or... ?
(while rehearsing for a skit of the Good Samaritan for VBS and the kids)

Gar>So I'm supposed to play a robber AND the donkey?
Other Teacher>Yep!
Gar>So shouldn't I have at least two different costumes so the kids won't be confused when they see me in the story twice?
Other Teacher>What do you mean?
Gar>Well, they're gonna think the Samaritan is riding on a robber. Not a donkey.
Other Teacher>I see what you mean. Let me make you something.

(other teacher goes away and comes back in 5 minutes with two long cardboard ears, glued to a visor)

Other Teacher>How's this?

(I put the visor on... the ears stand straight up)

Other Teacher's Kid>You look like a rabbit. HAHAHA!
Gar>...doh.

2006-07-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

no, really... i'm a grad student

My friend David from my program at Seattle U has posted a bunch of photos on a test blog, showing our cohort in class, reading, eating food, doing presentations, and practicing "teacher stuff". My funny mug appears in a couple of pics, but a few really funny ones:

Good times.

.:.

From James' blog.

Life's Simple Pleasures

Instructions: Name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 10 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative; try not to use things that someone else has already used.

Unexpectedly hearing a favorite old song
Naps
Cooking and eating together with friends and/or family
Tasting that first sip of whiskey/bourbon on the rocks after a hard day
Re-reading a favorite book
Getting a letter or a postcard via snail mail
Watching a good movie
Helping someone you care about
Finishing a difficult crossword puzzle
Being able to go out and eat when you crave a particular food

I tag: anyone.

2006-07-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Fong Wedding

It's been another big year for weddings, but like most of life's celebrations, your closeness to the focal participants of the event shapes your perspective. Besides the busy-ness of starting a new FT job this past week at a place I used to work for several years ago, there was the added craziness of helping out in a close, childhood friend's wedding.

It was a great ceremony (with a particularly entertaining sermon by the pastor), and the reception banquet on the waterfront (emcee'd by yours truly) went off without a hitch. While the sweating it out in a full tuxedo as a groomsmen in the heat (85+ degrees) was tough, the happiness of the day helped to carry me through. I surprised even myself by staying relatively sober, haha.

.:.

(Gar, Chris, Josh)

Along with our other friend Josh, Chris (the groom) and I were a rather (notorious) triumvirate growing up as friends at CBC, since the tender age of 4. My father had just moved up from Cali to become to the youth pastor at CBC; Josh and Chris' parents were long time, respected members, and heavily active in the church. It was only natural that we began to hang out a lot.

We occupied the nitemares of every boys' Sunday school teacher at our church, with our antics ranging from harassing the other kids, fashioning weapons from miscellaneous school supplies, to full-blown watergun and water balloon ambushes. Growing up, we shared a mutual obsessions with Transformers, comic books, sports, Nintendo, guns, and of course... the complete lack of dateable females in our age group at our church (all of us have chosen a significant other from outside our church...).

While 20+ years later, a lot of things have changed, we've still managed to maintain our friendship and I'm grateful to God for that. Not too many people can say that they've been blessed with friends like that. I treasure our loyalty, respect, and care for each other, and to see Chris get married is a reminder that our friendship really has lasted a lifetime, and continues onward. I feel old, but I guess it's "feeling old" in a good way.

Congrats, Fong. Don't mess this up... haha (j/k). ;)

2006-07-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

Cybernetic lawnmowers and fondue pots

Penny Arcade cracks me up.

I hope the new Transformers movie doesn't suck. Really. Rumors and rumors keep flyin' around.

2006-07-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

justice, not "just us"

Tonight was the 2nd session of Quest church's "Faith and Race" class. This year's approach has been at little bit more systematic this year, especially in regards to the historical roots of racism in America, tracing it all the way back to the very beginnings of colonization.

Perhaps one of the worst (and ongoing) sins in the history of America's existence has been the treatment of the original inhabitants of this land, Native Americans / Indians / American Indians. Yes, their mistreatment had political, economic, and cultural reasons in conjunction with racism, but even when the "savages" adopted the outward dress, language, and culture of the oppressors, it didn't always guarantee safety.

Case in point: the Cherokee Nation.

Despite adopting the "civilization" of the European settlers, they were still forcibly removed from their ancestral lands in 1838, herded into internment camps, and marched under armed guard, to be sent west of the Mississippi. In the aptly named Trail of Tears, it is estimated nearly a quarter to almost half of the 11,000 of the Cherokees died, most who held only what they could carry.

Greedy white settlers (who were already encroaching and harassing the Cherokees) seized the abandoned farms, houses, and property for themselves.

It became just one of many tragedies in the history of American "just us" - not justice. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out that though the idea of "just us" has been continually refined, its definition of white people versus everyone else has remained a significant part of American culture.

Land? Not for you... just us.
Equality? Not for you... just us.
The pursuit of happiness? Not for you... just us.
The privilege to vote? Not for you... just us.
Inalienable rights? Not for you... just us.
American citizen? Not for you... just us.
Recognition as a human being? Not for you... just us.

Faced with such horror, how can we begin to right the past? How can we begin to bring justice to a nation whose very foundations have been sullied so often by shameless avarice, broken promises, blind hatred, and the spilt blood of innocents?

If God has commanded those who follow him to not pervert justice, how can people of faith help to bring justice to this world?

Thing about that the next time you see a US $20 bill.

.:.

For a more comprehensive perspective on the history of the Cherokee people and their life in contemporary America, I recommend reading the book, Mankiller: A Chief and Her People. I first read it as a part of my grad program at SU and found it quite interesting.

2006-07-17T21:24:00.000-07:00

a duty to family, heritage and country

I heard this on NPR today... it's an essay by a 13 year old Chinese girl who immigrated to the US with her family as a young child.

Click here for the NPR page.
(There's an audio link on this page too)

A Duty to Family, Heritage and Country
Morning Edition, July 17, 2006

I am a good child, obedient. I grew up in China, a country where education is the center of every child's life and a grade less than 85 percent is considered a failure. Grades mean more to us than a mother's smile, more than the murmur of a wish lingering on birthday candles. I had homework during lunch, math and language classes two times a day. There were punishments for not paying attention. I was beaten with a ruler. I learned to do anything to get a good grade.

I believe in duty, but that belief comes with sacrifice. The achievements I make come with a cost.

I remember first grade, the red scarf flapping in the wind, wanting more than anything to be the first one to wear it, that, the symbol of responsibility, excellence and loyalty. The first thing that flashed to mind when I put it on was how glad my family would be, how proud the motherland would be of the child it had borne and how my accomplishments would look on a college application.

All my pride, love, self-esteem -- they merge into duty. There have been times I wanted to throw away everything, but duty and obligation were always there to haunt me and to keep me strong. I would think: My parents and grandparents brought me up, my country gave me shelter, my teachers spent so much time building my foundations just to have me throw it all away? No, I can't do that! I must repay all that they have done. "I must," "I should," "I have to," all those little phrases govern my life and the lives of many of my classmates. We struggle on because duty reminds us that the awaiting success is not just for us. It's for our families, our heritage and our country.

I used to want to be a gardener. I liked working outdoors and the gritty feel of dirt was much more tangible than a bunch of flimsy words strung together. But I can never grow up to be a gardener. Everything I have done so far points to the direction of becoming a lawyer. That's a job my family wholeheartedly supports.

There is no other choice for someone who's been brought up by such a strict system, someone who has ambition. Here in America, there is almost a pressure to follow your dreams. I don't want any more dreams -- dreams are illusions. And it's too late for me to work toward another future, to let the foundations I have built go to ruins.

I believe in the power of duty to impel. Only duty will offer me something true, something worthy of my effort and the support of my family and country. Duty can bring me to an achievement that is greater than I am.

2006-07-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

beginnings, endings, comings, goings

It's been an interesting week. As I imagined, since my proposal on Monday things have been busy. My fiancee, being the well-organized lady she is, has already got me working on several things for the wedding, including finding an officiant (helps to have a great ex-roommate) and a photographer (same company who did our family portraits). We also already visited a potential place for our reception.

Yep, things move very quickly... crazy...

This past week was also the farewell party for my friend D-Matsuda, who's going to Kazakhstan for a year to teach with a non-profit organization. I'm excited for him, and at the same time, the atmosphere of the party also brought back memories of what it was like for myself to leave for a year to go Japan - that strange mix of nervousness, anticipation, and hope. I really wish him the best.

On the same day, I attended a BBQ that my cohort at Seattle U held for their official last day of class. Though I'm not graduating with them, I was given a mock petition filled with signatures asking me to come, and I couldn't refuse. It's only been about a year since we all began the program together, but the group as a whole really did form a special bond and I really will miss them, especially next year when I have to finish the program as a part of another cohort. I enjoyed eating, talking with everyone there, but the most touching thing I received was a folder of letters / notes that people in my elementary ed cohort had written to me - apparently, everyone in the elementary ed cohort had exchanged letters of encouragement with each other and they made one for me too, even though I couldn't be with them... (*man tear*)

Chris' wedding is next week, and another member of our (infamous) childhood triumvirate will have fallen from bachelorhood. I guess I'm last on the block. ;)

I can't believe the summer's almost half over.

.:.

Funny videos:

Ryu Hunt - This would be a great mini-game.
"Date My Mom" Player Loses Big... Literally - HAHAHA. "High 5!"

2006-07-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

taking the jump

The events of recent years have changed me. I can't deny that. My soul has been softened, broken, sculpted, and pieced back together again more times than I can remember. There's been plenty of times where I thought I was taking a step out on faith and I ended up getting wounded. And nobody likes getting wounded.

Getting hurt makes people cautious and cynical. It makes people second guess their choices, hesitant about trusting God, and reluctant placing their lives in His hands while hoping for a better future.

I don't want to live a life in the darkness. I don't want to be a coward who's afraid of pain and spends him time scheming over the crumbs of life, the things that don't matter. Life is too short to be lived devoid of the courage and wisdom of love.

I know my current circumstances aren't ideal, but once again, I'm taking the step out and committing myself to being a better man than I am today - not only for my sake, but for hers.

Here we go.

Abba, Father. I'm trusting in your grace.

Mark your calendars and block off a weekend in December.

2006-07-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

postsecret, again

I mentioned PostSecret before in this post and this post. It's still one of the few non-news sites that I regularly follow. I've never sent in a secret to the project before (not that I'd tell you if I did, anyway), but I guess maybe it's because so many secrets that people have posted on the site could have easily been mine.

Recent postsecrets that have resonated with me...

Great stuff. If you're interested in supporting the project more, go and cop yourself a copy of the PostSecret book, or support HopeLine.

2006-07-08T23:54:00.000-07:00

summer festival

The Seattle Chinatown / International District Summer Festival is this weekend. I was able to stop by for a little walk around in the late afternoon and check it out - though various sponsorships was evident (McDonald's, US Army anyone?), I was happy that 95% of the stands at the festival were local vendors, community organizations, and food shops. I stopped by to say hello at the Wing Luke Museum booth, bought a baby mango ice shake at Ambrosia (the best hole-in-the wall bubble tea joint in Chinatown), and Shiv got a $2 set of tasty lumpia from the Filipino food stand.

.:.

disrespectful people, f!%k off

After my mother got off work at the eye clinic, we went out to eat Chinese food for dinner at a restaurant down the block that we like. I especially like their tofu / fried fish in a clay pot, and it was nice to beat the rush of people leaving the summer festival.

Just as we were finished eating and on our way out though, I had a maloy moment when an obnoxiously loud family of gweilo tourists sits behind us. The older man I assume to be the father is loudly is yelling at the poor waitress about "WHERE ARE THE SPARE RIBS? WHERE ARE THE GARLIC SPARE RIBS!"

What the hell?

Geez mister, why don't you read the menu? It's written in English AND Chinese, with headings that clearly say things like "soup", "meat", "seafood", and "noodles".

I glare at him as I'm leaving the restaurant, and what else do I see? He's using his chopsticks as drumsticks, making a racket while hitting his fat, sweaty leg that is propped up with them!!! Sure, I've seen that before... by children who are 3 years old or adults who are legally classified as mental retards. I'm pretty sure his wife caught me glaring at him, because she clearly had an embarassed expression. Keep your jackass in check, lady.

As much as I know Seattle's Chinatown / International District needs the business that tourists bring, I really wish they'd show some goddamn respect. I hate this attitude that a lot of non-Asian people bring to the neighborhood, expecting Asian people to drop down on all fours, kow-towing, and kissing their uncultured, racist asses. Just because all you country bumpkins happen to drop by to eat some "exotic food" from us "Orientals" doesn't mean you care about the community or the people who live it... pshhht.

Just do us a favor and go eat at McDonald's instead.

.:.

the new migration

The Seattle Times has an interesting article about the huge waves of young people migrating from rural to urban areas in China.

2006-07-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

to try

Life is all about trying. You try and try. Not for perfection. But to simply just do.

We live in a world where you could do 9 out of 10 things perfectly, then they'll turn their backs on you when that 1 out of 10 comes.

-quoted.

My friend was writing about her own life, but it many ways, it's just as applicable to mine. The second part of what she wrote reminded me of the Korean movie, "A Bittersweet Life", and its cinematic meditation on precarious nature of life in this world. No matter how good of a life you lead, you're really just a single really bad accident or mistake from it all going all to hell.

.:.

Ramblings.

There's obviously lots different reactions to this reality, which I pretty much lump into three categories:

The first possible reaction is that you become deathly afraid of making mistakes, that you become perfectionistic to the point of being anal and you become intolerant of even the smallest imperfection, because you dread your life unraveling. You seek extreme perfection, especially to draw favorable comparisons to those around you.

The second possible reaction is the opposite extreme where you can become hyper nihilistic and don't even care about making mistakes, because you figure everything is pointless anyways and by becoming detached from the responsibility of life, you're free to selfishly enjoy whatever pleasure you can squeeze out of life, even if it's atop the bodies of friends, and the burning ashes of the other people's dreams.

The third possible reaction is the balance that occupies the middling gray area between the two. It is to strive to obtain the ideal while being able to accept that inevitably, mistakes will happen, and that no matter how painful they are, one should strive to accept responsibility for them and correct them. Instead of perfection as an end unto itself, the journey itself is recognized as the equally worthy, if not better, endeavor.

Of course, this final reaction is most difficult of the three to maintain.

.:.

I know I would like to think of myself as a strong person, but I know I'm not. Maybe once in my life, I imagined I was in possession of a re-forged faith and hardened soul, but now there are days where I wake up and I wonder how it is that I will summon the resolve to just brush my teeth. Other days, I can easily pretend to be decisive as I cook lunch or compose a simple e-mail, even as I try to shrug off my nagging doubts about my own ability to competently make good decisions. After all, the present circumstances of my life are the sum result of decisions I've made in my life. Sure, it's no problem picking a shirt to wear or slicing scallions to throw in a bowl of wonton-mein, but I seem to have a talent of finding ways to make my life more difficult or complicated despite intentions to the contrary.

I don't want to become paranoid about every single decision in my life. And I don't want to stop caring about my life or the people in it, either. But it's difficult. The whole trying thing. Trying to try. Some days, it takes too much willpower.

.:.

Lucky for me, I only drink on days of the week that end in "y".

2006-07-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Ehren Watada

One of the local news stories I've been following is the story of 1st Lt. Ehren Watada, an Asian American officer from Hawaii who is refusing to go to Iraq on the grounds that the Iraq War is immoral and that the US government misled the country in claiming Iraq was connected to the 9/11 attacks. Today, the army formally charged Lt. Watada.

While it was expected that Lt. Watada would be charge for intentionally missing the deployment of his unit, apparently the more serious charges have to do with the government's assertation that Watada's statements are equivalent to contempt and conduct unbecoming an officer. A quote from the article:

His attorney, Eric Seitz, expected Watada to be charged for missing the troop movement. But Seitz said he was "somewhat astounded" by the other charges, which he said raised "important First Amendment issues," regarding freedom of speech.

The contempt charges resulted, in part, from a June 7 statement where Watada accused President Bush of "betraying trust" by using deception to initiate the Iraq war, according to documents provided by the military.

The charges of conduct unbecoming an officer resulted, in part, from Watada's statement that the war was not only "morally wrong" but also a "horrible breach of American law."

The charges set the stage for an Article 32 hearing, where the Army appoints an investigating officer to review the evidence and holds a hearing that could last for days or weeks. At the hearing, Watada's defense attorney will have the right to cross-examine prosecution witnesses, or call his own.

After the hearing, the investigating officer will make a recommendation of whether the charges merit a court-martial trial.

.:.

As I ate lunch in the International District yesterday at my favorite Japanese comfort food restaurant, Takohachi, and I happened to read an interesting letter in the North American Post, the Nikkei community newspaper they carry there.

The letter (July 5th, 2006 issue):

Dear Editor:

As a 442nd vet, I took the same soldiers' oath as First Lt. Ehren Watada, to "support and defend the Constitution of the United States from all enemies, foreign or domestic." Pres. George Bush took a similar oath for his high office.

Lt. Watada took the courageous, honorable course in refusing to deploy to Iraq, because our invasion is "illegal and immoral." He is not alone in opposing the conflict. The majority of Americans, including many retired generals, strongly criticize Pres. Bush's handling of the war. The Zogby poll shows that 70 percent of the military think that we should pull our troops by the end of the year.

Pres. Bush alleged that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and she was a threat to America as grounds for his "shock and awe" attack. When both accusations proved utterly false, he changed justifications by calling it a "war against terrorism." That is a vicious lie; for Iraq did not commit any terrorist acts until after our invasion. Her present violence is an insurgency against our occupation of her territory.

The main issue is: Was it constituional for Pres. Bush to devastate Iraq and kill and injure a hundred thousand of her people on false pretenses, without a declaration of war by Congress? Even now, he has not come up with a single valid reason for our unprovoked attack!

It is obvious that our devastation of Iraq without cause is immoral and against sacred American principles. It also violates the Nuremberg Principle, signed by the US in 1950, which outlaws crimes against peace, war crimes, and crimes against humanity.

Of the many organizations supporting Lt. Watada's stand, I have found no Japanese American group, except in Hawaii. Do we fail to support his honorable stand because we are afraid of being called unpatriotic?

-Mas Odoi,
Renton

Mr. Odoi asks an interesting question... as far as I can tell, most Japanese American and Asian American groups have been reluctant to announce any sort of support for Lt. Watada. Is it really because the Asian American community fears that supporting him will give the appearance of creedance to the "perpetual foreigner" stereotype - the myth held by many people that assume that by virtue of our looks and culture, that Asian Americans are "disloyal" Americans? Or could it be that the lack of a strong Asian American political voice in general means that any potential support for Lt. Watada is automatically drowned out?

One thing's for sure... already there's plenty of letters to the editor ripping into Watada from the local set of Bush followers...

2006-07-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

ha ha

Maybe I have a cruel sense of humor (OK, not maybe... definitely), but this really gave me a big smile. Hilarious.

F!&k colonialism and (expat) white privilege.

2006-07-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

happy independence day

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all."

I hope someday, this will become a reality rather than just an ideal.

.:.

For some interesting reading, check out the history of the pledge or the previous worded versions.

2006-07-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

hawaiian food

Back in my days as a university student at the U-Dub, one of my favorite places to eat was this hole-in-the-wall place appropiately called Hawaiian BBQ, next to Kiku's and the location where Pochi's bubble tea is now at.

I was first introduced to the place through people I met as a young college student - my freshmen year, I lived in a dorm filled with kids from Hawaii, and when I later began working at the Odegaard Library Media center, many of my co-workers were also people who had grown up there. The food was reasonably cheap, and I'd dream of eating the kalua pork, the fried mahi mahi sandwich, mochiko chicken... mmmm.

The San Francisco Chronicle recently ran an article on the expansion of Hawaiian food joints here on the mainland. Heck, even L&L Hawaiian BBQ decided to open a brand-new joint in my hood of Renton!

It's nice to get some more diversity of dining options down south here...

2006-07-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

wedding doubleheader

It was a long day on Saturday, but I survived and managed to enjoy myself in the process. In the morning, I went to a wedding for Shiv's old Greenwood house roomie, Che, in Seattle. After watching the ceremony, it was off to Portland, driving down I-5 in the sweltering heat, to attend the wedding of my old college roommate and Maplewood apartment homie, Mark.

I uploaded pictures to Flickr right here.

Both ceremonies were beautiful, but what especially sticks out in my mind was watching my friend Mark bring out his guitar and serenade his bride as she walked down the aisle.

What a classy guy, eh?

Congratulations to both couples... best wishes to Che & Jason, and Won & Mark!

2006-06-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

live as a vagrant, eat like a king

It's been a fun, and strange past couple of days.

On the side of fun, my cousin H and her husband came rolling through Seattle yesterday, on a vacation / roadtrip from their home in the Bay Area. It's their one year anniversary of their wedding, which took place last year (duh). I happily attended in between enjoying the NorCal weather and practicing my watermelon carving skills. They only crashed at our place for one night, so in true Chinese American fashion, mom and I cooked up a big homemade meal for them - I grilled some chicken wings and steaks on the outdoor barbeque; Mom fried some wonton, made salad, and picked cherries from a tree in our backyard. Moi-moi and Shiv drove down too.

Along with all the dinner conversation came other big news - cousin H and her husband are expecting their first child! Mom was especially surprised, but Moi and I had already been tipped off by cousin H's mom, Auntie Sue. Auntie had sent out a mass e-mail and my mom, ever the negilent e-mail checker, missed it. LOL.

I had the leftovers for lunch today, plus some kimchee. I'm still munching away on the jar of the stuff I bought at Uwajimaya a few months back.

That's right... I may live like a vagrant, but I still eat like a king...

.:.

On the side of strange, it's been almost 30 hours since I've slept. I don't know why I have this latest bout of insomnia, but part of me knows that it's definitely more than just the recent heat or my allergies. Part of it is the all too familiar, nagging discomfort of living a life that has been kicked off the train tracks; the other part is the gnawing of my own personal darkness, and feelings of being hung out to dry again. There's lots of big decisions to make over the horizon, and I wonder if I'm up to handling it. Ha.

I'd write more, but I begin to wonder how many times I've repeated the same thing over and over again on this blog, my own personal dirge repeated on annual basis.

Having experienced the life I have had, even up to this point - there's been many times I've felt alone, abandoned, betrayed, and constantly tested... I've chosen to try and edge out a hope that things would turn out for the better, even when they haven't always have.

I wrote those words. This very day, three years ago, under similar circumstances, with the only significance being that at least then, I had more guts to be more hopeful. I wish I could say that I'm better man that I was three years ago, but I don't think that's necessarily true, unless your definition of "better" includes being fatter, the ability to consume more whisky, and speak (a little) more Japanese.

It's amazing, and yet not, how some things don't change with time...

.:.

More weddings to go to this weekend. Doubleheader, in fact.

2006-06-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

medicate me, please

allergies + hot weather = misery

2006-06-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

who will remember?

From a book I recently finished reading.

"Did you know, Lietenant, I was once in love with a Chinese girl?"

I flush, wondering why he has made this strange confession.

"I came to China fifteen years ago, to Tian Jing, where I was taken on to work in a Japanese restaurant run by a couple from Kobe. I did the washing-up, the cleaning, a bit of waiting at tables, and I was given room and board in a tiny room. In what little spare time I had, I would sit at the window. On the other side of the street there was Chinese restaurant famous for its stuffed dumplings. A young girl used to go in at dawn carrying provisions and she came back late in the evening, carrying the dustbins. I was near-sighted, so I could barely make out her slim shape and the long plait down her back. She wore red - it was like watching a walking pillar of fire. When she stopped I always felt she turned to look up at me, and through the haze I thought I could make out a smile - which made my heart beat faster."

The Captain stops to refill my glass and drinks his own down in one. His face is getting steadily redder.

"One day," he carries on, "I found the courage to go into the restaurant pretending that I wanted to order one of their specialities. She was behind the counter and as I approached her I discovered her face, slowly, one feature at a time. She had thick eyebrows and black eyes. I asked her for some stuffed dumplings but, as she didn't understand Japanese, I had to draw them on a piece of paper. She leaned over my shoulder to look and her plait slipped forward, brushing past my cheek."

Another bottle is brought to the table, it is our fifth. The wind has died outside and the thunder has fallen silent, but we can still hear the regular patter of the rain.

"She couldn't even write her own name in Chinese," he continued. "We had no means of communication, but we spent our days catching each other's eye across the road, which seemed so wide to us, and we never tired of it. I could only make out the red of her clothes and the black of her plait, I had to reconstruct her face in my mind, having only glimpsed it. I was poor and the only gifts I could offer her were little bunches of wild flowers picked along the edge of the road, which I threw under the window of the restaurant. In the evening she would give me stuffed dumplings fresh from the oven. I couldn't bring myself to bite into these delicacies crafted by her hands, so I would keep them until they rotted."

"One day it rained all afternoon, as it has today. Lots of customers had taken refuge in the restaurant, to eat warm noodles. It was after midnight when I got outside, and someone threw their arms round my neck - it was her. Goodness knows how long the Chinese girl had been waiting for me in that dark corner; her face was frozen, so were her lips. She was shivering from head to foot and, because of the rain, I couldn't tell whether she was laughing or crying. Weighed down by her, I leaned against the wall. As we kissed we whispered words of love to each other, each in their own language, and the rain drowned out what we were saying. I forgot the cold, the dark and the weather."

The Captain sinks into a long silence, then looks up angrily to order another bottle. His hand shakes as he fills our glasses, and the sake spills over his clothes, but he doesn't notice. I can feel the blood hammering in my temples; I follow the Captain's story with all the unrestrained fascination of a drunkard. And he is struggling to speak... what terrible tragedy struck this man who now lives alone?

"The next day I went to a Japanese shop with all my savings in my pocket. I didn't have enough to buy a kimono - a beautiful obi had to do. Without realizing it, I was pouring poison onto our love with this present. Our relationship was soon discovered and a month later the Chinese girl disappeared without a trace."

A painful silence weighs down on our table.

"Later, after I joined the army, I found out what had happened to her. The restaurant had closed years before and the owners, who turned out to be Chinese spies, had disappeared into thin air. When they'd found out that their servant was involved with a Japanese, they'd condemned her to death....

[The moon is no more
The spring is no more
The spring it once was!
Only I, I alone
Am what I once was!]

he recites. And he weeps.

Tomorrow we will be nothing but earth and dust. Who will remember the love a soldier once knew?

-"The Girl Who Played Go" by Shan Sa

2006-06-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Japanese TV

People always ask me what are some of the things I miss about Japan, and besides the obvious answers (friends, food, trains), I always mention something else: Japanese TV! The quality and the "fun" of the TV shows in Japan really rivals the stuff we have here in the US. Two great clips:

Hilarious stuff (thanks to Mr. Brown and heh for the links)